Nation building is tough.
My nation is a few scant hours old, and I’m already faced with a citizenship crisis. I have decided not to award Nanukian citizenship to the feline class. I was going to, but I realized that if they were granted full citizenship rights, I would be a minority in my own homeland. Totally unacceptable.
Therefore there will be no feline representation in my Parliament. Lest there be protests, note that there will be no feline taxation either. So, no Boston Tea Party for them.
I fear I have created a welfare state. I’m forming a Parliamentary committee to study the issue of importing some mice to create meaningful jobs for the lazy feline underclass, ‘cause really what do they do all day? Eat, sleep, lie on the couch, eat some more, sleep. Welfare Queens!
On the other hand, importing mice will increase the population imbalance between the human and the animal class. Hey, I’ve read Animal Farm. Therefore in the interests of avoiding a feline insurgency, the committee has decided that the cats are residents of Nanukistan because I invited them to live here, and their function is to amuse me. As they fufill these duties to an exemplary degree, there is no need to assign them further work. That’ll keep the mice out too.
5 comments:
And how much do you know about their heritage? They are afterall, newbies in Nanukistan. What can they or their ilk know about your nation's important tranditions of, for example, Doritos? Mr. Hotdog? Tom/Tim Wallack? No, they should never be granted full citizenship. Keep 'em down, otherwise they'll be looking for special status (larger litter boxes, separate cat rooms, cream for breakfast, fresh caught fish) any second.
Nobody said statehood (I mean nationhood)is easy.
Ah, Tom/Tim Wallach. He was so dreamy. He had a Kevin Costner thing happening.
(Yes, I know I am opening myself up for ridicule by expressing admiration for the Kev, but hey it's a free country. My free country.)
and in your free country, kev will only be in movie bombs thus allowing us to love him again
(or is that just moi?)
Waterworld will, of course, hold special status, but we are also allowed to like good Kev movies like Bull Durham.
and the upside of anger
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