Friday, July 30, 2010
Note that he did not suggest "a little", "a bit" or "some" weight. He said "a lot".
I went home and ate chips.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
How will I keep the boys away? So hot!
The doctor said I never go into a deep sleep and therefore I am "chronically sleep deprived". Apparently if a person's oxygen level goes below 89% at night, it is cause for concern and treatment, and mine went down to 80%. I'm practically dead already! At my worst, I stop breathing 30 times per hour. Why haven't I had a stroke yet??? I've been dragging my ass around for so long, I don't even know what it feels like not to be exhausted all the time.
So let's see if this baby does any good. Even with insurance, it's going to cost me close to $1000, so this sucka betta gimme some results.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
At least the drivers are cool about it. There are so many defective passes (or boxes) that most drivers just wave me through if the pass won't scan. It always scans on the Metro, but on the bus? Forget it.
Again this morning, the thing wouldn't scan. Each driver has his or her own method for getting the pass to scan. This morning's driver bent the card slightly and whipped the part with the chip in it over the machine and voila. After me, person after person got on and nobody had a problem, even people whose cards are inside their wallets. They just plopped their whole wallet on the box and it scanned. But mine? No. It needs a little bend and whoosh over the box. I'm sick of it.
Two: There's a guy who takes the bus in the morning who plays his music on his headphones way too loud. He's not a teenager. He's a paunchy, 40-something guy, maybe Latin American or Philippino, and he blasts his heavy metal so you can hear it 5 or 6 seats away from him.
So this morning, Ms. Bossy Boots, another bus character is on the bus. She is a 40-something engineer who always wheels her computer around on a luggage thing, and often asks people if they will switch places with her so she can be in a seat that accommodates her luggage. She is a freakin' pain in the ass.
So Ms Bossy Boots sits two seats away from Senor Heavy Metal, and immediately leans overs and asks him to turn his music down because she can hear it. Of course, he can't hear her, so he takes his ear buds out and she repeats, she asks (for a change) doesn't order him, to turn his music down. He says he'll play it as loud as he wants, and puts his ear buds back in. So she HITS him. She smacks him on the arm. And he ignores her. He wins!
The best part of this is that there was another woman seated between the two of them. There was no way she was getting involved in this, so she just sat there with a really amused look on her face. And we all listened to second-hand heavy metal all the way downtown.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
So I dug in on that very night. And it was good. For about 100 pages it was really good.
So here's my problem. In the first excellent part of the book, topical 90's stuff happens. But in the second part, Roth reveals that one of the main characters has a Big Secret. And he tells us what the Big Secret is. Once I had been given all the background of the Big Secret, I started to lose interest in the book.
Then, Roth, or more precisely the narrator, tells us that two of the main characters are now dead, and they are going to die soon in the narrative. I think at this point I am supposed to keep reading to find out how and why they die. But truth is, I don't care. How did this happen? Why have I stopped caring? It's weird, and I can't explain it.
This afternoon I struggled through a long set piece about a deranged Vietnam Veteran's therapy session at a Chinese restaurant. Since I care about this character even less than the main ones, I ended up skipping the last two pages of this part.
And the main female character is totally unbelievable. I cannot for a minute believe a woman like this exists. And, even though Roth repeatedly describes her as pretty physically unattractive, gaunt, weather-beaten, stringy-haired, etc., he still needs to point out her Surprisingly Big Boobs.
Oh, Phil, you're such a guy. Get over the big boobs, already.
I'm going to try to finish the book, but unless I can get back to caring about somebody, anybody, in it, it will be tough going.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
This morning I stopped into a nearby bagel shop that is supposed to be transformed into a bagel/Indian food take-out this month. Not much Indian yet, but I did buy a couple of vegetable samosas that were quite edible. The owner is very friendly, and when I asked him when the re-opening was going to be, he talked and talked. And I couldn't understand a thing he was saying. Well, maybe every fourth word. So I think the opening is now 5 August and he will be serving Indian breakfasts which involve some kind of omelet. From what I could tell, it sounded good. But mainly I smiled a lot and was totally lost.
I bought a blender and have been searching the web reading endless smoothy recipes, especially vegetables smoothies. I am going to be incredibly healthy in no time. If I watch my intake of soon-to-be-locally-available Indian take-out, that is. Face it, I can't win.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
It appears I retained so much knowledge about the fellow, I may not need to read the book, unless of course it has lots of interesting details about the menage-a-trois (rivieres). Then I might have to read it. We'll see.
For example: I said that the pornographer in question had been hospitalized at the Royal Vic for tuberculosis, and my friend said that didn't make sense because in those days when people got TB, they sent them to sanatoriums up north. And I said, well, he did get TB again, and he convalesced in Ste. Agathe. And at that very moment I realized I had retained too much info. My little brain does not have room for such facts. There are too many other important things I need to remember, like my home address, and the fact that .215 constitutes the Mendoza line, this being a fact I discussed with my GP at my last appointment (don't ask). This paragraph is turning into streamofconsciousness.
Monday, July 19, 2010
So, I have to rate them as a novelty chip. Interesting, but not something I will crave.
I cannot see myself wanting to eat these on a weekly basis, therefore, although good and intriguing they will not be entering the Pantheon of Chiply Delights.
Rating on the traditional wang-o-meter: 7.
Went out to the countryside yesterday to attend a literary “talk”, given by a sometimes commenter on this blog, and, we now know, avid pornography researcher. Hmm. (You think you know a guy, and then this…)
Congrats to Brian. I thought he did an excellent job, seemed pretty relaxed to me.
I think more research needs to be done on the topic of the ménage-a-trois in rural
Friday, July 16, 2010
He has made his prediction for the winner of the next Russian election to be held in 2012. But, the decision is being kept secret until that time. I'm on pins and needles.
"Paul is now so popular in Spain that a northwestern Spanish town tried to borrow him. Officials in O Caraballino, population 14,000, declared that the octopus is their "honorary friend" and wanted Paul's presence to promote a seafood festival, the Faro de Vigo newspaper said.
A businessman from the town also offered 30,000 euros (C$40,740) to buy Paul, but the newspaper said Sea Life declined."
I want to be an honorary friend of Spain.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Ever have a memory pop into your head from, say, 30 years ago, and think "I cannot remember the last time I thought of that"? I just had one.
I was thinking of a friend whose birthday I always remember because it is today, the French Holiday.
Suddenly, I remembered an even older friend, from Cegep days, Amanda S., who spent most of her time worrying about her love life/sex life. At one point one summer, she was complaining about her long dry spell and said "It will be 9 months on Bastille Day!"
Totally forgot about that until 10 minutes ago. Happy Bastille Day to all.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Our boss is away, which is good because she is extremely uptight about this kind of thing. Our secretary has just been appointed for the next 3 years and she is the one who wants to celebrate, so she has brought in Egyptian foods for us to taste, and others are bringing the wine.
Afternoon of No Work ahead! Doesn't take much to make me happy.
Update: There wasn't that much food, but there were at least 5 bottles of wine. Two hours later, I went back to my desk. Drunk. And I'm still drunk. Like, seriously drunk. This is baaaad. Ha ha ha.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
I'm too sexy for my bed.
Needless to say it hasn't been the funnest weekend of my life in the sleep department, but I did manage six or seven hours sleep each night. The data collected will determine if I have sleep apnea. If I do, I will be fitted with a Hannibal Lecter style breathing apparatus.
To quote my brother-in-law (who wears one himself) "You'll never get laid again."
Wouldn't it have been easier to have written two signs that say "yes" and "no" and put them in the octopus tank. He would know if I have sleep apnea. So much simpler.
Friday, July 09, 2010
So today I am, for the first time this week, faced with that zoned out fatigue. It's 9:40 and I've already checked my watch about 10 times. This day is going to draaaaag. I bought some strong corsé coffee instead of my regular bland Colombian, hoping this will wake me up. So far it has not.
In other news, bring back the Cold War. And not just because it was Cold. I love US/Russian spy swaps on the tarmac at Vienna. I hope it was done in swirling fog by men wearing trenchcoats and fedoras. Don't we all the miss the USSR? I sure do.
Speaking of Russia, isn't it about time for the annual Putin bare-chested vacation photos?
In chip news, I stopped by Provigo hoping to find Late Night Cheeseburger Doritos, but alas, they did not have them. So I bought the store brand "Barbecue Baby Back Rib" flavor. Guess what? Tastes like BBQ. What a surprise. Not a bad flavor, tho. Kinda has that chicory smoked thing happening. I give 'em a 6 on the wang-o-meter.
Will I find the elusive Cheeseburger Doritos before my Lipitor runs out. Stay tuned....
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
But now I have read that the psychic octopus has predicted a Spanish victory, so why even bother watching. The results has been predetermined. The octopus is never wrong.
So like him or not, I am stuck with watching David Villa in the finals.
The octopus is never wrong.
So for the final I say: Go Holland!
This, of course, means if I want to gorge on Cheeseburger-flavoured Doritos, I have to do it within the next 10 days. Busy, busy.
I'm hating the heat wave, but I have yet to experience a sleepless night. Seems each summer I come up with a new trick for getting to sleep. This week's innovation is to put a lot of baby powder on every part of me that normally sticks to another part in the night. For example, at the elbow, in the fold where I bend my arm. Load that up with baby powder so there is no stickiness. It worked amazingly well last night. Back of the knees, too. So I can scrunch in fetal position a bit without going "ooooh sticky".
Yay, Holland! All the way, crazy orange people!
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
This truly is an effing miracle.
Monday, July 05, 2010
On the plus side, it's air conditioned. This would not have been a good week to be home, though I am tempted to take Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons off to...what else...watch the semi finals. Let's see how the workload looks, then I'll decide tomorrow morning.
Such a hard worker, me. I do have over 40 vacation days coming, so two more 1/2 days wouldn't hurt, would it? Nah.
Saturday, July 03, 2010
I hardly know who to pick now. With apologies to my late father, who I trust is not reading from the Great Beyond, I really like this German team a lot. It's true!! Father forgive me, for I am sinning. But I like them, I really like them. I believe they can beat Spain. And we are looking at a Germany v Netherlands final. Tres cool.
And I'd have to stick with the Netherlands to win, because they've never done so before, and also, well, because of the War. Heh. I haven't totally forgotten about the War.
Oddest line of the day belongs to, who else, John Helm, about, who else, Maradona. I paraphrase a bit here: "He cuts a lonely figure sometimes. And a demented one too sometimes."
Now is that nice?
Friday, July 02, 2010
For those who are expecting commentary on the Dutch victory. Here it is: Yay!
Unexpected and delightful. All the way, you Dutch guys!
As for Ghana. Well, first Uruguay: Sometimes you win by not losing. And as for Ghana: sometimes you just plain lose by losing. Really, guys. No excuses for Gyan. My heart, as I said earlier, was in my throat. Pure torture.
One other thing: Uruguay has the greatest anthem evah! The intro is longer than most other complete anthems, and it is so zany and jolly, even more than Italy's. It sounds like it's from a Marx Bros movie. Fortunately we'll get to hear it again!