Sunday, March 31, 2013

Happy Easter to All

Yes, it is Easter Sunday, and more importantly, it is

The Eve of NaPoMo

Tis the eve of NaPoMo
and all thru the house
not a cat is stirring
since we don't have a mouse.

The dictionary is open,
and waiting for us
to consult it and our
Roget's Thesaurus.

This poem is clean.
It is G-rated
But soon NaPoMo will
be celebrated.

And then all the poems
the short and the long
Will be filled with such words
as doodle, wienie and dong.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Hockey Night in Montreal West

Hooray for the team of Anonymous Ro.
They won the Big Game with 4 seconds to go.

The night was not so ordinary.
I thought his dad would have a coronary.

But the star of the night, I gotta tell ya
Was the Muslim mom with her vuvuzela.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Pre-NaPoMo Celebrity-Death Combo

A poem from Knuckles, in anticipation of NaPoMo, just 10 days away, and to mark the death of Harry Reems.

"Dead is porn star Harry Reems,
at the age of 65.
His long shlong gone forever more,
but the memory stays alive.
The man literally was a fucker,
and did it oh so fine.
And had he toughed it just four more years,
he would've died at 69."

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

A first!

On this first day of Spring (HA HA HA!) I got on the bus, which was crowded and quite slow due to the massive snowbanks everywhere. I got a seat at the back of the bus.

There was a guy, middle-aged, white, balding, eating a banana. Eating a banana like he is in his own kitchen and not on public transit. Then he took out a breakfast bar and ate that. Then he took out a second breakfast bar and ate that.

At this point, the bus was quite crowded, with guys standing, so my view of Mr. Breakfast was partially blocked. Thank god for that because suddenly I hear a buzzing noise, a quiet but distinct buzz. Yes, he had pulled out his electric razor and was shaving on the bus. A young girl sitting next to him looked over and then bured her face in her book (Black Boy by Richard Wright, I noted).  Two Asian women sitting up from him turned around and looked. He was oblivious. A mother and daughter sitting across looked appalled but then started laughing to each other.

I noticed he wore a wedding band. Imagine being married to this guy. Being married to the guy who shaves on the city bus. There's only one valid reason for shaving in public: you are homeless. This guy clearly was not homeless, just a clueless boor.

Friday, March 08, 2013

Pope Me, Baby!

The Papal Conclave starts on March 12. This leads to one burning question: What are the appropriate snacks to serve at a Conclave Party?

Unrelated to anything Papal: At lunch time I saw a man literally walk into a tree. On University. He was walking with his head turned to the street watching traffic for some unknown reason and then BONK into a narrow tree. He stopped, rubbed his nose, adjusted his glasses and kept walking. It was almost like this wasn't the first time this had happened to him...  A man walking alone ahead of me turned around, smiling, to see if I had seen it too, but I was too surprised to smile. My brain was still processing the fact that The Benny Hill Show is real, not fiction.

Monday, March 04, 2013

Naughty, naughty

Smoothie and his girlfriend (of 8 months) have planned their first weekend getaway, to the Nation's Capital, in 2 weeks. Both Smoothie and gf still live at home (both are 27). When she told her father they were going away for a weekend, her father asked if they would have separate beds and then he said "there better not be any hanky-panky". 

Perhaps he is not aware that there has been excessive hanky pankying going on for the past 8 months.

Hanky panky. It's the word of the day. I had not heard that expression in years, and I suspect Smoothie had never heard it at all before yesterday.

My baby does the hanky panky. Now that song is in my head.

In other news: Our New Boss arrives today. Will he be a non-entity? or will reports of his antics make him a regular item of interest on the blog. If so, he will need a nickname. Stay tuned...