Monday, January 28, 2008

In Crazy Neighbour News

Everyone knows about my crazy Polish neighbour (CPN) whom I loathe to the depths of my soul. Well on Friday night, it was my sister’s turn to flip out over his stupidity.

The city had only removed the snow from one side of our street, so she had to park across from my house. CPN too had to park his car across the way. There were NO OTHER CARS within 5 or 6 house lengths from ours. So what did he do? He backed up and parked in front of my sis’s car to within a few centimetres. Why? Who knows? Because he is a nut.

She spent the whole evening looking out the window at the two sole vehicles on the street squeezed up against each other. CPN could not have opened his trunk if he’d wanted to. That’s how close he was to her front bumper.

She was livid and puzzled. "What kind of person does this?" she asked over and over, stewing.

She plotted revenge. She was ready to find a pay phone and send unwanted pizzas to his house. Then she thought she could call CAA and have them tow the car away for a laugh. She schemed and plotted for an hour. It was really driving her crazy.

She thought about going out and moving her car directly in front of his, but I cautioned that he is nutty enough to ram her just to show his superiority, so she didn’t do anything.

I suggested she light a bag of cat poo on his front porch. She’d never heard of the flaming bag of poo prank.

As for me, it was fun to watch someone else go through this for a change. She now better understands my ranting about his ludicrous behavior.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

...why do I have a feeling that my name somehow came up on Friday night in connection with CPN?

Perhaps you, your sister and I should team up for the ultimate revenge...Having just finished watching my DVD of Return to Eden, I've picked up a thing or two...basically, you've got a year to get facial reconstruction, plastic surgery, and end up on the cover of Vogue...then we'll be set!

JAW fan

Nanuk of the North, older but no wiser said...

Funny you should mention that. Your name did come up several times.

Anonymous said...

why are you so worked up about this? I mean his car isn't touching hers is it? life it too short!

N.

P.s. my tip would be to take all the snow he dumps on your yard and place it in front of his car so he really can't get out! =)

Anonymous said...

Say - e-mail me at work (in the building next to yours, lest you wonder who I am). I have something I want to pass one.

cityofmushrooms said...

ah, CPN's, I've missed their antics

tho this anon passing of mysterious information from "the building next to yours" (above) sounds ominous (state secrets? CPN countertactics? heavy duty pain killers? a case of organic sweet potato baby food?)

Nanuk of the North, older but no wiser said...

More ominous than all of the above. It's the Tom Cruise Scientology video that everyone's talking about.

Tom has crazee eyes and is crazee. He scares me.

I'd love to know how many millions of $$$ he's given this "church".

cityofmushrooms said...

in the future, we will all be forced to chose between the church of tom and the church of oprah

scary indeed