Many of you know that I have an ongoing hate-hate relationship with a particular next-door neighbour of mine based on the fact that a) he shovels his snow onto my property and b) he is the biggest asshole in the history of the universe.
It has often been suggested (particularly by JAW Fan, who would do it in a flash if he lived here) that I simply shovel all the snow back onto the property of Mr. Biggest Asshole. I have not done so, and the story below will explain why. This is exactly the kind of confrontation I wish to avoid, and I know perfectly well that if we started this battle, I would end up in handcuffs.
Premeditated murder by swinging a shovel. Murder One. No regrets, no remorse. Murder with a song in my heart.
In this story, replace the words “snowblower” with “shovel”, “43-year-old man” with “46-year-old woman” and “72-year-old woman” with “the biggest asshole in the history of the universe”.
LEVIS, Que. -- A snowblower duel between two neighbours was decided with the click of handcuffs after punches were thrown and one man tried to choke an elderly woman.
Levis police said it all started in a swirl of snow Monday night as the elderly woman cleared snow from her front walk but blew the snow onto a neighbour's entrance.
Her 43-year-old neighbour saw that and got out his snowblower to send the fluffy white flakes whirling right back.
"Then the 72-year-old woman grabbed her snowblower again and blew it onto her neighbour," said Alain Gelly, a Levis police spokesman. "The man again blew the snow back. Both of them were blowing snow on each other. It was a real battle of the blowers."
The tempest lasted about 10 minutes until both combatants faced each other in the street, their engines roaring.
"That's when the 43-year-old man got angry and started insulting the 72-year-old woman before grabbing her by the throat and pushing her to the ground," Gelly said.
The woman's 70-year-old husband saw what was happening from the window of his house and ran out to intervene. But he got punched several times before he could say much.
A neighbour saw the commotion and called police.
The 43-year-old man was arrested. He will likely be charged with assault. (Edmonton Sun)
P.S. I just noticed that the cop's name is Gelly. Cool name. I'll bet everyone on the force calls him GellyBaby.
3 comments:
the battle of the blowers is indeed a cautionary tale
you need to grease the clash-lovin'-whiskey-swillin' GOOD neighbour's palm with a case of something expensive and well-aged or you'll be blogging from the slammer!
In instances like this, you let the aggressive neighbour win...then at 3:00 in the morning, you key their car and throw a brick through their window.
Am I the only one who knows how to deal with psycho neighbours???
JAW Fan
Thar she blows!
Post a Comment