Monday, May 19, 2008

Queen of Denial

I just finished cleaning my bathroom. And why was I doing this on a Holiday Monday? Because I'm avoiding something else. The only time my toilet sparkles is when I'm pretending I don't have something else to do.

I'm supposed to be reading sample exams, and looking at vocabulary, prepping for my test. But am I doing that? I am not. I've been cleaning mildew out of the corners of the bathtub tiles with a toothbrush. This is serious denial.

I had a quick read of some of the material, and you know what? It's really British! Yikes! By jove! (Where's Blaque Jacques Parizeau when I need him?) I feel very North American reading this stuffy stuff.

On Friday one of my colleagues was looking at it. She noted one paragraph that began "Annexed hereto" and said: we don't say that. Nope. We don't say that. What are these people, Nazis? Annexed hereto please find the Sudetenland...

If I go over there, I'm going to be such a foreigner! When I lived in Washington I knew I was a foreigner, but the locals didn't. In England, as soon as I open my mouth, the truth will be known. I never done been a real foreigner before. Shucks.
Must buckle down now and study. Oh! Look it's lunch time. How convenient.

5 comments:

cityofmushrooms said...

forsooth!
fivesooth even (as snagglepuss would have said in the '60's)

Anonymous said...

Glad I'm not the only one who cleans mould with a toothbrush....

And you know what else? In London, they'll all think your're American, which is even worse.

Last time I was in the UK, myself and travelling companions were mistaken for Sth Africans and New Zealanders...

Anonymous said...

...start watching Coronation Street and brush up on your language:

cuppa = cup of tea
tea = supper or at least food
oy = hey

as in, "Oy, you wanna cuppa?"
or "Can't have another pint, gotta start me tea."

JAW fan

Anonymous said...

...or these other favorites

"Don't give me evils!"

"Shagging" not to be confused with "Snogging"

"Minge"...which you might want to avoid using.

and the one I've always loved; "I have to go to hospital" They never put the word "the" before hospital.


JAW fan

Anonymous said...

how about "my shout" - I'm paying this round - good as long as it's not you saying it.
N.