Tuesday, May 06, 2008

In Feline News

I took Miss Hitler to the vet tonight. She is smelly and has stopped grooming herself. I feared some kind of infection. But no. She's just fat, and possibly pre-diabetic.

Apparently, she has gotten too rotund to curl herself up and clean her bottom. Therefore she's been getting dirtier and smellier.

I thought she'd just given up and stopped caring. The George Costanza of cats.

But she's been on diet food for 3 years, I said to the vet. Turns out some cats gain weight on diet foods (just like me! I thought). Too much cereal, too many carbs. So after tomorrow, Miss H. has to be put on a kitty Atkins diet. An Atkitty diet, perhaps? Katkins?

I think I'll put all 3 of the crew on the same diet because it's just gonna be too much of a headache to keep her food separate from the boys.

Atkins for kats? I still can't get over that.

So tomorrow she gets tested for glucose and then put under general anesthesia for a complete shaving. (No obvious smutty jokes, please.) Then I'll have to keep a close eye on how she cleans her bottom, if she can, as the fur grows back. What silliness.

$300 worth of silliness.

4 comments:

cityofmushrooms said...

meee-ow

Anonymous said...

Hey, what gives? This isn't what I wanted when I typed "shaved" "kitty" at all. Stupid Google.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous,

You must be looking for the Richard & Willy blog four clicks over.

JAW fan

Anonymous said...

every gal needs a little landscaping now and then. She'll shave off a few pounds to boot and hopefully squeeze into that new kitty bikini.

N.