This dream is set in a massive cathedral where the Pope is about to say a Mass with a large entourage. The worshipers are divided by sex, with the women on the right side of the church (facing the altar) and the men on the left side. Everyone is wearing plain white robes that look like First Communion robes.
And where am I in this? Not sitting with the rest of the women. I am not sitting at all. I am lying on my back on a long bench at the front of the altar, but off to the side. It is not a prominent position. I have no idea why I am lying there. It’s a wooden bench with a very thick cushion on top of it.
Suddenly the women all stand up and look towards the men. This is because they know what the men are about to do and they want to counteract it. The women all hold our their hands in the classic prayer pose, palms together and pointing their fingers towards the men. The women know this is called their Prayer for Peace. They are anticipating that the men are about to do something really funny and they want to block it.
Then the men all stand up and look towards the women. They all hold out their hands but instead of holding their palms together, they spread their hands so that only the tips of their index fingers and thumbs are touching, forming a triangle in the middle. They call this the Prayer for Pizza. All the men quietly chant OM while holding this pose. Everyone is trying not to laugh.
Meanwhile the Pope (not Benny 16, just a generic Pope) enters with his large following. The church is quiet.
At this point I realize I have to get up and sit properly. As I try to do so, I realize the cushion on the bench is so thick I can’t sit down without hopping a bit to reach it. But I’m afraid to try because if I push the bench it will make a very loud noise and I don’t want to be noticed. So I am pushing up against the bench to no avail.
One of the men comes to my rescue. He holds the bench and then very forcefully pushes it under my knees but it’s much too strong and so instead of sitting down, I am suddenly doing a very, very slow backwards somersault in a perfect piked position. I’m slowly watching my feet flying over my head and I’m thinking "Oh no. This is really not what I wanted."
Fin.
(I woke up laughing so hard, I couldn’t stop. )
3 comments:
the russian judge gives you a 9.95 for the prayer for pizza in a piked position
And just what had you been doing (eating/drinking) before you went to sleep?
That's what eating a bag of crab spice chips before going to bed will do you.
N.
Post a Comment