A hard rain’s a been a-fallin’ all day. I’m very happy about this because when I got home on Thursday there was a little flag on my lawn indicating that the fertilizer guys had been by for their first visit of the season (no toxic chemicals). And they left that little note I hate so much, the one that says: "Water after this application." I haven’t even dragged the garden hose out of the basement yet, so there was no way in heck I was going to "water after this application". So I did the next best thing... turned on The Weather Network and prayed for rain. And my prayers were answered. Hallelujah.
So a rainy day allows me to partake in my favourite masochistic weekend pastime, reading the Saturday Globe & Mail!
I figured it out today. When I read the Style Section of the Saturday Globe I become Ignatius J. Reilly at the movies. I yearn to bellow at the top of my lungs: "Who is responsible for this abomination?" making everyone around me run for the exit. But since Miss Hitler was sleeping angelically on my lap as I read, I limited myself to snorting derisively. The object of my derision?
Boomers. God how I hate them. Yeah, I confess my unending, passionate hatred for an identifiable group. It’s those Boomers.
I don’t know if I am a tail-end Boomer or a Preemie Gen Xer. There is some scholarly debate about which year signifies the transition. Regardless. I hate Boomers. In today’s Globe the focus is on how incredibly sexy female Boomers are, and how all these 50-something women have 30-year-old hot stud lovers who "go all night". But don’t call these ladies "cougars" because that implies they are aging and that’s insulting. Got it?
In their usual balanced way the Style section included one article opposing the sexed-up Boomer argument (by the female writer we should all pity, I suppose) versus three pro sexy Boomers articles, so you know where the 50-something editors of the Globe stand on the 50-something sexy Boomer issue. Boomers want to redefine every "life stage" as they goes through it. Yawn. Guess what, they may fool themselves but they aren’t fooling the rest of us, those who came before them and those of us trailing along behind.
The problem is that by the time I’m 50, 50 won’t be sexy anymore. It’ll be all the hot 60-year-old babes that will be hoarding the Latino cabana boys and there’ll be nothing left for the Janey-come-lately’s like me. Life is so unfair.
11 comments:
Leaving all the am I/am I not a boomer thing aside for one minute, you have someone come round to fertilize your lawn?
LOL. Doesn't everyone?
You don't know the weed problems we have in these parts...the dandelions alone would break the back of the hardiest man.
lol OK, so, to my mind, wouldn't the fertilizer make the weeds grow even better? (hey, where are the emoticons for this blog?)
well since I am at one w/my thriving dandelions, was on marni jackson's side on the "let-yourself-go-babe" globe 'n' mail debate, I'll only applaude the ian brown anti-helmet-head-harper article complete w/soviet-style photo of "restricted" areas of the hill
surely that cheered you up??
Being in that same age range where I'm not really one or the other, I totally agree. Meanwhile I slather myself with sunscreen and moisturizer and haven't seen my natural haircolor in some years...I like the idea of having hot sex when I'm 60, but I'd like it to be with another 60-ish person.
Oh and I have a yardman, who does not fertilize my lawn. He does however kill weeds growing up the brick path and then forgets to tell me so I worry that the dog is poisoned.
The Boomers? Totally think they made up sex at later ages. But they'd be wrong. My parents were born in the 1920's. My sister walked in on them having a little something in the afternoon and my parents were in their 80's. Every generation thinks they invented stuff. Only now we document so much stuff that some fools (Boomers and sadly journalists) actually believe it.
true, true, llj
I've got to write more on Harper and his thoroughly creepy one-man govt. But he's too disturbing to ponder for the long term.
Oh no, parents having sex - please, lets not go there.
Harper? Watch out for a visit he's getting soon from another disturbing person - our PM - saw an article about it in the globe and mail.
I know.
The big Harper-Howard Love-In is happening this week. Icky!
I say briefly: Best! Useful information. Good job guys.
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