Friday, June 10, 2011

JAW Fan's Healthy Food Review

In an attempt to help promote Healthy Eating and Dieting, here is the first Fruit and Vegetable Review:

For months now, I have been bewildered and amazed by the freaky-looking Dragon Fruit. I have espied them not only at my local Fruit and Veggie store, but also in the big name grocery chains. They are so interesting in appearance, mysterious and strange, the exotic black-speckled white interior conjures up images of hot rippling-muscled men in Speedos (why? I’m not quite sure…must be all the pot fumes drifting out the windows of my neighbours) What could this oddity possibly taste like? Sweet and sexy? Bitter and bad-ass? Tangy and tumescent? Who knows?... at close to five f**king bucks a fruit, I wasn’t about to find out. That is, until this week. Whilst sashaying through the store, my 1970s-style high-thigh short-shorts exposing just a glimpse of underwear (OK, walking through the store in baggy-style shorts…but the image just ain’t the same!!!), I noticed one of these magnificent beauties sitting on the quick-sale rack at the incredible low price of one buck. And, no, I wasn’t at Dollarama! So, naturally, I hopped on that baby quicker than Richard Simmons would have hopped on me had I actually been wearing those thigh-high short-shorts. When I got home, I was all eager and agog, shaking with the pre-taste jitters…I sliced into the pink exterior, exposing its white pulp, cut out a piece, and slipped it ever so anxiously into my mouth…What did it taste like? Well, let me tell you…absolutely nothing!!!! I have never tasted anything that had absolutely no taste whatsoever!!! And they have the nerve to sell this sucker for $5 a pop. F**k you, people!!!! You can take your Dragon Fruit and fly away with it!!! And to think that PC often sells their fabulous chips at 3 bags for $5 (each one with an International flavour all their own). Guess I know where I’ll be spending that extra five dollars from now on.

In short: Dragon Fruit = Some People Will Buy Anything.

1 comment:

cityofmushrooms said...

duly noted and much appreciated, mister shorty-shorts