The Book of Kumar

So. Kumar has this thing about being a sperm donor. (Now THAT, folks, is an opening line!) This has come up before in conversation.

I guess as a starving student at some point, he must’ve thought that maybe he could make a few bucks as a sperm donor. I’m sure he’s not the only guy to ever think about this. Anyway. He’s never done it, and this is his reason why. He’s has some crazy, mortal fear that if he had been a donor in his early 20s, then at some point in his 40s he would unknowingly sleep with his own daughter. Yes, I know. Believe me, I know. It’s insane.

I swear that people from that part of the world live only for “Drama”.

I tell him that statistically the chances are pretty darn slim that this could happen. But, says he, they still could!

So, a-ha, says I: here is your solution. Easy. When you are in your 40s, never sleep with a woman who is young enough to be your daughter. Stick with women your own age. Problem solved. No worries, now go donate all the lil sperms you want.

But no, says he, when I will be in my 40s, I’m only going to want to sleep with women in their 20s. Right now, he explains, I am in my 20s and I want to be with an older woman. But when I am 40, the last thing I will want is a 40-year-old woman. No way. At 40, I will want a woman who is 20.

I looked at him, puzzled. Why is that? I asked (apparently foolishly).

He looked at me like I was the biggest numbskull in the world and said. “Because that’s the way it works!!”

Boy, I’m dumb. I did not know that.

So, to any 40-something man out there who is with a woman in his same age group, You’re Doing It Wrong!