So. Archie is marrying Veronica.
I give it 6 months. He will soon seen the error of his ways. But I hope when he is left out in the cold, while Ronnie is boinking the pool boy, and he goes back to Betty, she laughs in his face. And then slams the door on him. Ha Ha.
Is Mr. Lodge still alive? Has Veronica inherited her father's dough? Maybe he will cut her out of the will? Then what, Archie? You gonna support that spoiled brat?
It's all wrong, wrong, wrong.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Blehhh
Yesterday evening, I discovered that the restaurant/bar across the street from my workplace makes delightfully delish and potent cosmopolitains, which we got at 2 for 1 prices.
It is not a good idea to go out on a Wednesday, if you have to work on a Thursday.
I don't feel so good today.
It is not a good idea to go out on a Wednesday, if you have to work on a Thursday.
I don't feel so good today.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Morocco bound
Just when I am hoping that nobody ever responds to those “fishing” romantic emails, I get a call this morning from a colleague who tells me one of her friends is in love with her Internet man. This victim, I mean, woman divorced her alcoholic husband last year. She is now on welfare with her two children. And she has scrounged together enough money to buy a ticket to Morocco to met her man. She said: “It’s not one of those Internet things. He really loves me.” They have never met.
Sigh.
This is why those guys send out those emails. This proves my theory that it is not cynical old maids like me who are at risk in these schemes, but vulnerable widows and divorcées who don’t know how to take care of themselves.
I hope she comes to her senses before she lands in Morocco and realizes there’s nobody there to meet her.
Sigh.
This is why those guys send out those emails. This proves my theory that it is not cynical old maids like me who are at risk in these schemes, but vulnerable widows and divorcées who don’t know how to take care of themselves.
I hope she comes to her senses before she lands in Morocco and realizes there’s nobody there to meet her.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
The basic food groups
Went to IGA yesterday. (Not looking to pick-up Jewish men.)
I sauntered by the goodie aisle and counted six packages of $1.59 glazed donuts. I considered them. I looked at them longingly. I fantasized about their glazy goodness. And I walked away. Empty-handed. Victory.
At the other end of the store, I spotted that Pringles were on sale this week. This time I did not walk away. I bought “Infernal Ranch” Extremes. Verdict? As I started to taste them, they didn’t seem so infernal, but after a few minutes my lips started to burn and swell rather unpleasantly. Like a bee sting. Ranch is supposed to be cooling and soothing, no? I was puzzled. So I put them away.
I’m reserving judgement until I give them a second sampling tonight. I may have to go back to Extreme Cheddar. They are tastier and less dangerous.
I sauntered by the goodie aisle and counted six packages of $1.59 glazed donuts. I considered them. I looked at them longingly. I fantasized about their glazy goodness. And I walked away. Empty-handed. Victory.
At the other end of the store, I spotted that Pringles were on sale this week. This time I did not walk away. I bought “Infernal Ranch” Extremes. Verdict? As I started to taste them, they didn’t seem so infernal, but after a few minutes my lips started to burn and swell rather unpleasantly. Like a bee sting. Ranch is supposed to be cooling and soothing, no? I was puzzled. So I put them away.
I’m reserving judgement until I give them a second sampling tonight. I may have to go back to Extreme Cheddar. They are tastier and less dangerous.
Monday, May 25, 2009
I am among the wonders of God's beauty, so act accordingly!
Nothing much to blog about today, so how about I share the latest email from ye olde romantic male box. Oh boy:
"I wonder how God could let you go off so easily, seeing you has really made me forget to ask how u are doing. Well let me not be carried away by your beauty, I must tell you the truth you are among the wonders of Gods beauty.
I am sorry, i ougth to introduce my self, my name is XXXXX, am 43years old , living in Central London., I just joined this dating site in search of love..its my dream and desire to meet a woman like you as my life time partner, then I saw your profile which really captivated my attention, I like to get to understand who you are what you want out of life and a relationship, I believe from what I read in your profile. Your best feature is your heart, I saw so much light in you that I was drawn to mail you. You are so lighthearted and your smile so full of joy, I know that love can not bring understanding but understanding can bring about love, I believe there is a lot we need to learn from each other, they say a bird at hand is better than thousand in the sky*, I will love to know what you want as a person, you can contact me with my personal email account as I do not come on this site often."
The punchline? If the guy in the picture is really him (unlikely...) he is verrry good looking.
*Editor's query: They do? Who are they? Who says this?
"I wonder how God could let you go off so easily, seeing you has really made me forget to ask how u are doing. Well let me not be carried away by your beauty, I must tell you the truth you are among the wonders of Gods beauty.
I am sorry, i ougth to introduce my self, my name is XXXXX, am 43years old , living in Central London., I just joined this dating site in search of love..its my dream and desire to meet a woman like you as my life time partner, then I saw your profile which really captivated my attention, I like to get to understand who you are what you want out of life and a relationship, I believe from what I read in your profile. Your best feature is your heart, I saw so much light in you that I was drawn to mail you. You are so lighthearted and your smile so full of joy, I know that love can not bring understanding but understanding can bring about love, I believe there is a lot we need to learn from each other, they say a bird at hand is better than thousand in the sky*, I will love to know what you want as a person, you can contact me with my personal email account as I do not come on this site often."
The punchline? If the guy in the picture is really him (unlikely...) he is verrry good looking.
*Editor's query: They do? Who are they? Who says this?
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Goodbye cruel world
The former President of South Korea committed suicide after being accused of bribery.
You think Mulroney has read this story yet?
Don't do it, Brian! heh heh
Mulroney would never consider this because it would mean he thought about words like shame and humility. Not in his vocabulary. We can't even get him to shut his trap for 5 minutes.
You think Mulroney has read this story yet?
Don't do it, Brian! heh heh
Mulroney would never consider this because it would mean he thought about words like shame and humility. Not in his vocabulary. We can't even get him to shut his trap for 5 minutes.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Poles on my Street
Nothing ever happens on my street...except for today. This is a quiet residential street that far too often turns into a drag strip. And no wonder, it's quiet alright, but it's also four cars wide.
I came home this evening to find that the city had installed four black and yellow striped metal poles, spaced just wide enough for a car to go through. I assume these are like vertical speed bumps, forcing cars to slow down to thread the needle, so to speak.
How long until one of the poles gets dinged? I say it happens this evening; certainly before the end of the weekend. If Kumar was still around, I'd bet big money that he would be the first to mow down a pole, but that is highly, highly unlikely.
I suppose some young idiots will see these poles as a challenges, try to drive between them without slowing down at all.
Those who know the street, know that this is a very long block. So how come these bumblebee maypoles ended up exactly in front of me? They would've been more appropriately sited next door in front of the Crazy Pole.
Oh well, if they are anything like the Stop sign at the corner of Fielding and Walkley, they should get flattened at least once a week.
I came home this evening to find that the city had installed four black and yellow striped metal poles, spaced just wide enough for a car to go through. I assume these are like vertical speed bumps, forcing cars to slow down to thread the needle, so to speak.
How long until one of the poles gets dinged? I say it happens this evening; certainly before the end of the weekend. If Kumar was still around, I'd bet big money that he would be the first to mow down a pole, but that is highly, highly unlikely.
I suppose some young idiots will see these poles as a challenges, try to drive between them without slowing down at all.
Those who know the street, know that this is a very long block. So how come these bumblebee maypoles ended up exactly in front of me? They would've been more appropriately sited next door in front of the Crazy Pole.
Oh well, if they are anything like the Stop sign at the corner of Fielding and Walkley, they should get flattened at least once a week.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Email woes
Note to Ms Mushrooms et al,
So apparently my home email is shooting blanks. I swear there were actual words in the body of my messages. I did not set my font to "invisible ink". Ms M, I sent another message to you from home but using my work email via "remote" (hi-tech, baby), but I doubt that you got that either.
I guess I am out of email communication until I'm back at work tomorrow. People can send me messages but I won't respond. Kind of like being on a dating website.
So apparently my home email is shooting blanks. I swear there were actual words in the body of my messages. I did not set my font to "invisible ink". Ms M, I sent another message to you from home but using my work email via "remote" (hi-tech, baby), but I doubt that you got that either.
I guess I am out of email communication until I'm back at work tomorrow. People can send me messages but I won't respond. Kind of like being on a dating website.
Goof-Off Day
It is literally too nice a day to work today. So I am at home.
I told the boss yesterday that if it was warm and sunny, I would not be in. And so I won't be.
Exciting backyard (and front yard) chores await!
I told the boss yesterday that if it was warm and sunny, I would not be in. And so I won't be.
Exciting backyard (and front yard) chores await!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Somebody Stop Me
You know how I always say I prefer salt over sweet. Chips over pastry.
IGA is ruining my life.
They have come out with Compliments brand glazed donuts. They are SO CHEAP I had to buy them. 6 for $1.59. They are really fresh and yummy and now I can't stop buying them. I hope IGA puts the price up soon, so I can stop. I think $1.59 for 6 is an introductory price for a new product. It is evil. Eeeeveeeeel. I know myself. Miss Frugal would not buy them if they were $2.99.
It is not like me to be obsessed by glazed donuts. I've bought them 3 times in 3 weeks. That's 18 donuts!
At this rate, I will never weigh 100 pounds. :(
IGA is ruining my life.
They have come out with Compliments brand glazed donuts. They are SO CHEAP I had to buy them. 6 for $1.59. They are really fresh and yummy and now I can't stop buying them. I hope IGA puts the price up soon, so I can stop. I think $1.59 for 6 is an introductory price for a new product. It is evil. Eeeeveeeeel. I know myself. Miss Frugal would not buy them if they were $2.99.
It is not like me to be obsessed by glazed donuts. I've bought them 3 times in 3 weeks. That's 18 donuts!
At this rate, I will never weigh 100 pounds. :(
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I work for idiots
Late last month my esteemed employer was in the news over some pesky corruption and budget deficit problems. Frankly, compared to British MPs, we are small-time crooks, but I digress.
Last Friday, or so the paper tells us, the organization, being run by the massive intellects that it is, decided to send two cease-and-desist letters to the retired employee who was bad-mouthing us in the press. It also scolded, but didn’t threaten to sue, the reporter who covered the story, calling him “unprofessional”. Hey, he did his job. By the standards of this place, that’s unprofessional.
Our brave/foolhardy retiree says he will not be intimidated by these letters and has hired one of the most famous lawyers in the province to defend him.
This could get good.
Apparently there is quite a bit of risk here because a lawsuit (or counter-suit) might force us to open up our books and, well, we all know how red-faced we’ll be if that happens. Why the powers-that-be decided to pursue the retiree, heaven only knows.
What’s worse that a dim bulb organization? A self-righteous dim bulb organization.
Last Friday, or so the paper tells us, the organization, being run by the massive intellects that it is, decided to send two cease-and-desist letters to the retired employee who was bad-mouthing us in the press. It also scolded, but didn’t threaten to sue, the reporter who covered the story, calling him “unprofessional”. Hey, he did his job. By the standards of this place, that’s unprofessional.
Our brave/foolhardy retiree says he will not be intimidated by these letters and has hired one of the most famous lawyers in the province to defend him.
This could get good.
Apparently there is quite a bit of risk here because a lawsuit (or counter-suit) might force us to open up our books and, well, we all know how red-faced we’ll be if that happens. Why the powers-that-be decided to pursue the retiree, heaven only knows.
What’s worse that a dim bulb organization? A self-righteous dim bulb organization.
Pre-emptive Celebrity Death News
I have been informed by JAW Fan that some things are no laughing matter, and he will not be producing a poetic tribute when Farrah kicks the bucket.
The Internet being what it is, I'm sure there will be plenty of other places to find tributes to Farrah and her cancer of the, ahem, nether region. But NOT HERE.
So, this being the case, let me take this moment to say one thing:
Ryan O'Neal is fat. He's a fattie. He deserves to be joked about, but apparently the cone of Farrah is protecting him from all catty attacks.
Lucky tub o'lard.
The Internet being what it is, I'm sure there will be plenty of other places to find tributes to Farrah and her cancer of the, ahem, nether region. But NOT HERE.
So, this being the case, let me take this moment to say one thing:
Ryan O'Neal is fat. He's a fattie. He deserves to be joked about, but apparently the cone of Farrah is protecting him from all catty attacks.
Lucky tub o'lard.
100
What do you do about a friend who has gone nuts on a diet? And, no, I'm not jealous.
One of my work pals started in January on one of those diets where the company sends you all your meals for the week, so you don't do any cooking. And she has stuck to it. All she has to buy are her fruit and vegetables.
She's lost over 25 pounds and she wasn't that big to begin with. Today I asked her how long she intends to stick with this. She said: I'd like to weigh 100 pounds.
I didn't say anything, but I suspect my hair was standing on end. It's one thing to weigh 100 when you are 20; it's a whole other thing to weigh 100 when you are 50-something.
Three words come to mind: Scrawny turkey neck.
I don't know how many pounds she still has to go, but she already looks too thin. She said she enjoys the control she feels on this diet. Being totally out-of-control myself these days, I can admire that. But I can't imagine aiming for 100 pounds. Yikes.
One of my work pals started in January on one of those diets where the company sends you all your meals for the week, so you don't do any cooking. And she has stuck to it. All she has to buy are her fruit and vegetables.
She's lost over 25 pounds and she wasn't that big to begin with. Today I asked her how long she intends to stick with this. She said: I'd like to weigh 100 pounds.
I didn't say anything, but I suspect my hair was standing on end. It's one thing to weigh 100 when you are 20; it's a whole other thing to weigh 100 when you are 50-something.
Three words come to mind: Scrawny turkey neck.
I don't know how many pounds she still has to go, but she already looks too thin. She said she enjoys the control she feels on this diet. Being totally out-of-control myself these days, I can admire that. But I can't imagine aiming for 100 pounds. Yikes.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Holiday Weekend
This morning, a Russian colleague said to me: Happy Birthday to your Queen!
I guess that covers it.
I guess that covers it.
Scam Artists
Back on Miscellaneous Wednesday, I mentioned an email I got from a man who works for Cadbury (I repeat: Nom Nom Nom) telling me his tale of woe and loneliness. And I felt sorry for the guy and wished him good luck in his search.
Yesterday, I get a message from a man in the UK and his tale of woe is surprisingly similar to Mr. Dairy Milk. Both said that they had been widowers for four years and were raising a daughter alone, and how difficult that was. UK man jumped the shark, however, by adding that both his parents also died in the fiery crash that killed his wife. And, I thought, hmmm I see. If he hadn’t thrown that parent thing in he was still believable. But he blew it.
Which got me to thinking about Internet scams and an episode of Fifth Estate I saw a few years ago about this con man who had married 2 or 3 women that he had met on a Christian (!!) dating website. And he’d basically taken all of them for every cent. He was married to more than one at a time, but none of the women knew about the others.
And now I’m thinking, is it really that easy? Are women of a “certain age” really such easy marks? Why is four years considered to be a good timeframe for their alleged widowerhood, and why say they are raising a daughter rather than a son? There’s got to be evidence that this is the kind of detail in the story that lures the lonely woman in. How cruel to exploit a person’s loneliness.
The Internet: Source of endless fascination and creepiness.
Yesterday, I get a message from a man in the UK and his tale of woe is surprisingly similar to Mr. Dairy Milk. Both said that they had been widowers for four years and were raising a daughter alone, and how difficult that was. UK man jumped the shark, however, by adding that both his parents also died in the fiery crash that killed his wife. And, I thought, hmmm I see. If he hadn’t thrown that parent thing in he was still believable. But he blew it.
Which got me to thinking about Internet scams and an episode of Fifth Estate I saw a few years ago about this con man who had married 2 or 3 women that he had met on a Christian (!!) dating website. And he’d basically taken all of them for every cent. He was married to more than one at a time, but none of the women knew about the others.
And now I’m thinking, is it really that easy? Are women of a “certain age” really such easy marks? Why is four years considered to be a good timeframe for their alleged widowerhood, and why say they are raising a daughter rather than a son? There’s got to be evidence that this is the kind of detail in the story that lures the lonely woman in. How cruel to exploit a person’s loneliness.
The Internet: Source of endless fascination and creepiness.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
"I must confess..."
One of the great things about on-line dating sites is the email from the "fisherman". The fisherman is a guy who throws out a generic email to every woman on the site in the hope of reeling one in. I got one this morning. It says:
"Hi Gorgeous,
I must confess, you are such a gorgeous looking woman that every good man will desire to have as a partner. I have read through your profile and i must say, i think we could make a match. Please i will realy like to know you more better and lets see how to make this become a reality. I await your kind responds. Please do email me your email address for better communication."
I must say, I don't think he deserves a responds.
"Hi Gorgeous,
I must confess, you are such a gorgeous looking woman that every good man will desire to have as a partner. I have read through your profile and i must say, i think we could make a match. Please i will realy like to know you more better and lets see how to make this become a reality. I await your kind responds. Please do email me your email address for better communication."
I must say, I don't think he deserves a responds.
Argh!
I haven't written anything about Canadian politics in a long time. You would've thought that an MP who terrorizes her servants would've motivated me, but no. Oh well.
But last night I saw the Conservatives' new attack ad on Iggy and I was disgusted. Is there any other sitting government party that runs vicious attack ads on the opposition when an election hasn't even been called.
I'm not an Iggy fan. I have said more than once that I truly believe the man lies when he claims to read the Sports section. Lies! Lies, I tell you.
But this ad that says Iggy is a Canadian of convenience, not a true Canadian, is crap. God forbid an academic leaves the country to have a successful career. He should've lived his whole life among the intelligensia of Calgary, right? What garbage. Because good Canadians live their whole lives here, like Mulroney, the $300,000 man.
I hate Harper.
But last night I saw the Conservatives' new attack ad on Iggy and I was disgusted. Is there any other sitting government party that runs vicious attack ads on the opposition when an election hasn't even been called.
I'm not an Iggy fan. I have said more than once that I truly believe the man lies when he claims to read the Sports section. Lies! Lies, I tell you.
But this ad that says Iggy is a Canadian of convenience, not a true Canadian, is crap. God forbid an academic leaves the country to have a successful career. He should've lived his whole life among the intelligensia of Calgary, right? What garbage. Because good Canadians live their whole lives here, like Mulroney, the $300,000 man.
I hate Harper.
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