Last weekend, I attended what can only be described as a chip orgy…bowls and bowls of chips lovingly decorated the table (OK, three bowls)…nonetheless, the wang-o-meter was vacillating like it had never done before…up, down, sideways…at times, it was impossible to get an accurate reading.
In the first bowl, Doritos Late-Night Jalapeño Poppers. You’ve heard the song “Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot”, well these orange triangles of fire could have been the inspiration to that island tune…but sadly, they left a bad taste in my mouth and left me “Feeling Sick, Sick, Sick”. These Poppers did not produce any fireworks in the ol’ underpants, not even when covered in the creamy deliciousness of a T. Marzetti dill dip. My advice: stay clear of these devil dongs.
Next up was President’s Choice Smokin’ Stampede…another variation of the barbecue flavour. Although nothing to get your lariat in a twitter over, as a snack food treat, they were tasty, tangy, and totally tempting. Yes, the rodeo in my pants had the wang-o-meter sporting a proud 8 inches. And that ain’t no bull!
The highlight of the night, however, was a specialty chip that a gamblin’-lovin’ chickster-of-a-friend picked up at a European deli. The brand name: Blair’s Death Rain. The flavour: Cheddar…The result: a hot n’ spicy cheese delight. Needless to say, the brand name alone scores a magnificent 10 inches on the wang-o-meter…the chips themselves a slightly smaller 9 inches…still, without a doubt, the big winner in the Harry Reemes Potato School for the Uninhibited.