This weekend, at a private social event for three, I had the opportunity of sampling the new PC flavour of chips: Ballpark Hotdog. I was hoping these stadium snacks would score a homerun…but, sadly, they didn’t even get to first base. All three of us had the same initial reaction…yuck! Immediately, we began to discuss what they tasted like. Raw wieners? Relish? Crotch sweat?...We never quite came to a conclusion. But not being ones to waste a potato-based treat, out came the dips. T. Marzetti dips, to be exact…a thick dill and a smooth ranch…mmmmm! Deliciousness ensued. I had never heard of this Marzetti fellow before, but I’m glad he crashed the party, because the wienery-relishy-crotchiness was suddenly enhanced tenfold. Wow! It was like bringing Danny DeVito home one night and waking up in the morning to find George Clooney in your bed.
Unfortunately, on the wang-o-meter these Ballpark strikeouts rate an itsy-bitsy shriveled up and shrinky-dinky 1 inch of unsatisfactory pleasure, that’ll have you saying “Hey, where’s the beef?” faster than that old lady* from the Wendy’s commercial. But, please note, covered in T. Marzetti’s creamy white substance, these hotdogs grow an added 4 inches.
*Editor's note: That would be Clara Peller.