Thursday, February 17, 2011

Los Chipos de Mexico

Not only is JAW Fan back from his Mexican vacation, but the soul-destroying concept we call work has managed to quickly make the vacation a distant less than a week. But Mexican chips do not so quickly fade from one's memory. So without further ado, here is his Mexican Chip Report for 2011. (applause)

Have returned once again from beautiful Puerto Vallarta, Mexico…land of tacos and telenovelas…and, of course, latino potato chips, which in my opinion are guaranteed to knock your socks off (not that I wore any for the 2 weeks that I was away.) Trust me, Mexican munchies are the bees knees, the cat’s meow, and Valentino Lanus all rolled up into one. And with so many flavours to choose from, I didn’t know where to begin…so, naturally, I had to sample as many different ones as possible. And a-samplin’ I did!...Flamin’ Hot Ruffles, 3 Quesos, Ranchero Corn Chips, Chile con Limon Crujitos…the list goes on.

No matter the brand name or the flavour, these delicioso tastebud treats are guaranteed to have your undies undulating with yumminess (not that I wore any of those either for 2 weeks)…Yes, they are definitely worth giving up your first-born for. Seriously, I think Rosemary would have had a much easier time adjusting to the devilization of her baby had her Satan-worshipping friends offered her some of these savoury snacks as compensation.

As for the wang-o-meter, it has never seen such sky-rocketing action. The damned thing kept soaring to levels that even the Flying Wallendas could not attain….Did I mention Queso y Chipotle, Salsa Verde, Habanero, and Buffalo??? Yes, Buffalo flavour (which I assume is in reference to chicken wings and not bison) Whatever the case, it didn’t matter, every bag was like a trip to the Mmmmmmoon (let’s throw in another few “mmmm” just to be safe)…Like I told the customs official after she searched my suitcase and found the 9 small bags I was bringing back home* “me encantan sus papas fritas!”

And if the above chips didn’t damage the ding-dong of the wang-o-meter, the Guacamole ones I purchased did. My poor contraption required an extension just in order to get an accurate reading. Yes, these gorgeous green bites of Guacamole goodness rate a fantastico 15 inches of hot hombre-loving, pure pulsating pleasure…making them the indisputable Harry Reemes of the potato chip world…and reason alone to return next year.

*and which have sadly already been eaten (yes, all 9 of them!!!)

(Editor's Note: Should I know who Valentino Lanus is?)


cityofmushrooms said...

--your undulating undies have a mexican soul--
welcome back to the land of ice, snow, and no-name chips

Anonymous said...

Valentino Lanus: a telenovela actor with a great smile, a beautiful face and a hot bod. Pure drooliness...Feel free to Google him.

JAW fan