Friday, May 21, 2010

JAW Fan's Doritos Report

After last month’s Late Night Cheeseburger Doritos success story, obviously I was eager to sample their other new flavour Tacos at Midnight. As special border-crossing agent X (aka Mommy) was going to Plattsburgh for the day, I immediately insisted she bring home a bag of these Taco Triangles, regardless of how many 300-pound Walmart-shopping sad-excuse-for-a-human beings she had to push out of the way.

Although I intended to open them only next week, I could not resist the voice that called out to me from behind the cupboard door. Within an hour of having them in my house, I had ripped into the bag and was preparing myself for an explosion of deliciousness. How disappointed I was! Although they were original in taste…sadly, they lacked oomph. They tasted more like Taco Spice Mix than an actual Taco. I actually only ate one small bowl full and then put the bag away (granted I wasn’t particularly hungry, but when has that really ever stopped anyone from going on a binge) These highly anticipated treats left me feeling all flaccid and dangly. On the wang-o-meter these Mexican-inspired duds rate a muy pequeño y muy triste 4 inches.

On the positive side, however, Mommy…I mean, special border-crossing agent X…also brought back a giant bag of Late-Night Cheeseburger Doritos…so not to worry, my wang reading will soon be back where it should be.

3 comments:

cityofmushrooms said...

let's hear it for special border-crossing agent X!

Anonymous said...

...best news of all, special cross-border agent X didn't even charge me for the two bags she purchased.

JAW fan

Nanuk of the North, the Mastermind behind [blank] said...

There's nothing sadder than a flaccid wang-o-meter.