I have another neighbour problem. And this one is not temporary.
We have a family plot in the cemetery in my hometown (not V’Field, but D’Ville). I bought this plot (real cheap!) and my parents are buried there. It is in the same cemetery where my mother’s parents and her sister are buried. I too will eventually be going in the same plot. What can I say? I like to plan ahead. I’m a planner!
Anyway, in family squabble news, there’s an uncle (husband of one my mother’s sisters) whom basically the whole family cannot stand. And this summer that branch of the family decided to also buy a plot in the same cemetery. Not just the same cemetery, but they are in OUR row. Just a few plots down from us. I am incensed. (Is that a joke? Not sure.)
I do believe I heard my father calling from beyond the grave. I recognized his voice. He said: I don’t want to spend eternity next to that goddamned sonofabitch Edgar. (He was not fond of my aunt’s husband.)
And it’s not only my aunt and uncle who are going in that plot, but their kids including their son, the cousin that my sister and I really cannot stand. He’s a c.c. of his father, and we loathe him to the same degree. When I told sis that the cousin was also going to be in OUR row, she howled: NOT HIM TOO!!!
So now I’d like to get a wheelbarrow and haul our headstone over to another row with a better class of neighbour. I mean, how dare they? Eternity next to that sonofabitch Edgar. Is there no peace to rest in? I’ll be glad I’m dead so I won't have to think about it anymore.