What Can I Say?

Jim Nabors got married. To another man.

My first instinct was to write "Golly" or "Surprise, surprise, surprise" but since that appears to have been the first instinct of everyone else on the Internet, I won't.

I was not actually sure if Jim Nabors was still alive or not, so maybe I can say surprise, surprise, surprise about that.  Congratulations to the happy couple.

My Kingdom for a Snorkel

Today I got on the bus on University and LaGauchetiere at 4:50, as usual. The bus went up University to Rene-Levesque where more people got on, as usual. We continued up University, as usual. When we got to St. Catherine we were suddenly in the middle of AN IRWIN ALLEN PRODUCTION.

Water. Everywhere. The bus stuck on ice in the middle of University. Spinning tires. Bus fishtailing. Not advancing. Freezing water all around the bus. We made it to the corner of deMaisonneuve but couldn't make the turn because there was too much ice. All the passengers went to the back of the bus to make some weight at the back. After about 20 attempts we got around the corner. We all clapped, foolishly thinking our ordeal was over....

...but it wasn't.  We got stuck again at deMais and Metcalfe. Spinning tires, flood waters all around.  I was afraid I would have to swim like Shelly. Firemen had to guide the bus in reverse back to McGill College so we could turn. It was surreal.

I got home in just over 2 hours. I wondered if Mr. Anon was trapped in his office.

Please release me, let me go (Part XXXII)

Guess who got offered an extension yesterday? 

Mark Carney? No.
Prince Harry? No.
Knuckles Girlyskirt? YES.

He's never going to get to enjoy that 14-month package, is he? Mr. KG gets to savour his 3 weeks of Mexican chips and then return to the land of peanut butter and cheese until the end of March.  Fortunately for us, that leaves him available in April to contribute to NaPoMo on a daily basis. Poetry Rules!

The 2013 birthday parade begins

Happy 52nd B-day to Mr. Mushrooms. Who ignores his birthday. Though I hear his better half is going to bake him a cake, so there is some acknowledgement of the grand day.

How did we get to be 52? When did this happen?

(Aside: It's friggin' cold everywhere today. I'm trying not to dwell on it. )

The Return of the Romantic Male Box

It being a New Year, I have returned to the scene of nefarious activities, i.e. Internet dating.

Last week, I came in contact with a guy who is a bit wacky but seems fun. Chatting on the phone before meeting in person, he said he noted that I had nice teeth which meant I am not a smoker. I confirmed that I am indeed not a smoker, and thought okaaay.  We met on Saturday and one of the first things he asked was "Are your teeth real?"  I paused, laughed and said "Yes, are yours?" He said yes, which is obvious because one has a big chip in it.  Other than this teeth fetish, he seems "normal".  In fact, on first meeting, before the teeth thing, he said to me "Hey, you are normal!" That is the world of the Internet for ya, the pleasant surprise that the person you are meeting is in fact normal and not a raving loon.

Now if I can figure out what the teeth thing is about... If he hangs around I will need a nickname for him, based on his real name, which in Clash fan "code" indicates he "can't fail".

Obit News

Dear Abby died.

All together now "I can't believe she was still alive"  or "Didn't she die 30 years ago?"  Take your pick.

Yesterday, Conrad Bain died and I resisted writing: Whatchu talkin' 'bout? (OK, now I just gave in.)

Say What?

The Internet is abuzz about Jodie Foster's Golden Globes speech.  I say What?  I couldn't follow what she was babbling about. She was incoherent. Maybe DeNiro helped her write her speech, as it reminded me of a number of weird speeches he has made over the years.

More likely, she is just hanging around with Crazy Eyes Gibson too much.  And, ok I know it is not their fault, but her kids are really, really creepy looking.

In other GG news, I was happy to see Argo win. I thoroughly enjoyed that movie.

And a final note. Here is my advice to any producer of an awards show. Use Robert Downey Jr. for EVERYTHING. Make him host, make him give out every award, make him do it all. Nobody will be bored.

In TOTALLY unrelated news. This item caught my eye yesterday. From the CBC:

A 55-year-old man is dead after his snowmobile passed under a moose. The man suffered critical head injuries after his snowmobile passed under the large animal while it ran across the path.
The snowmobile was barely damaged in the incident. The moose ran off and investigators have not been able to locate it.

Under a moose?

How's it going, Down Under?

There was a lot on the news last night about the wildfires in Australia, and the extreme heat.

Susie, if you are reading, can you let us know how things are in Melbourne? Hope you are ok.

Ice storm

As we are "celebrating" the 15th anniversary of the ice storm this month, I have been trying to remember some of the things that happened.

1. Chalet BBQ: the source of hot meals!
2. Knuckles' emergency buckets of water.
3. The Bedards!

I'm sure other things will come to me.

Happy New Year!

I think there is something seriously wrong with a person whose first thought, on waking on new year's morning, is "when are my municipal taxes due? February 1 or March 1?" And I'm not talking about Knuckles here, although I'm certain he too could awaken to such a thought.

Answer is: March 1. Phew!

Celeb Death Query

Is it just me, or does it seem like Whitney Houston has been dead for way more than a year? I keep seeing her picture in the "those we have lost" stories, and I think, really? Was that only in the past year? Feels like she's been dead for a lot longer than that.  We can't get away from her.

Too much Whitney, not enough Davy Jones!
Too much Whitney, not enough Sherman Hemsley!
Not enough Adam Yauch!
Not enough Phyllis Diller!

Snow Part Deux

For the benefit of our member(s) in the Southern hemisphere. Here are a couple of pics of my street.

Snow

I don't have much to say about the Knuckles Day Storm of the Century. I was on the train coming home from the Holy City. Normally that is a 5-hour train ride, but it was 8 hours this time. Not fun The worst part was the final 90 minutes when we sat at Wellington, within sight of CN Station, stuck because a switching signal wasn't working. It was like seeing the promised land, but thinking we would never get there.

But my wee troubles were nothing compared to FF's ordeal in getting home from work. I shall quote his email:
I went to work. The day ended early, at 3 PM instead of 5 PM. The train never showed up, I ended up taking a different train (after 1 hour of waiting in the freezing cold wind and getting mild frost burn) that let me off at Parc, where I took the metro to Vendome and found that the buses all broke down in random positions on the road. I had to walk 3 KM through big mountains of snow. By the time I got home, I had frost burn on my hands and legs, and was wet up to my knees. I told them I didn't want to repeat that on Friday, they gave me the day off - unpaid.

Merry Christmas to All

Merry Christmas, Happy Festivus, etc, etc.

Despite it being Festivus I will not air any grievances, nor perform feats of strength today. I must rest up for Christmas eating starting tomorrow night.

Happy news today. My niece and her bf stopped in and announced that they got engaged last night. They are very happy. The wedding is at least two years away, so I don't have to worry about finding clothes that fit just yet... bring on the Christmas eats.

Happy Holidays to everyone!

And a P.S. Speaking of my niece, she shares a birthday with Mr. Knuckles. And since Mr. K's birthday often seems to get ignored in the hub-bub aftermath of Christmas, I take this early opportunity to wish Happy B-Day to him.  My niece turns 27, and Knuckles turns...slightly older than 27.

Hmmm....now I want pancakes

I'm certain you are as relieved as I am to learn that the gang of thieves who stole $30 million worth of maple syrup have been arrested.  We can all sleep well tonight. After we have pancakes.

Only 2/3 of the stolen syrup has been recovered, which means there's $10 million in contraband still hidden out there.  I hope we don't become a syrupy Mexico.  Instead of Santo defending us, we will have Bonhomme.

The most interesting part of this story to me was the fact that Quebec holds strategic reserves of maple syrup. Stategic reserves.  That's not black gold, it's golden gold. mmm.

C'est l'hiver

Yesterday, Environment Canada informed us all that "most of Canada" would not have a white Christmas this year.

Look at the window, dude. 

grrr.

Double-breasted shearling coat

I don't usually comment on the latest viral sensations, but that IKEA monkey is so cute in his little coat.  I like that people have called him "a smart monkey"  and "a dapper monkey". 

I'm glad the authorities appear to have placed him in a sanctuary and didn't give him back to the dumbass humans who decided they wanted a monkey as a pet.  A monkey is not a pet, I don't care how dapper he is in his little shearling coat.

Word of the day is "dapper".

A Bullet in the Head

Walking up to the mall this aft, I met my neighbour, Georgette, who is in her 70s and has an opinion, an authoritative opinion, on everything.

She was complaining that the new govt has increased the taxes on wine. I agreed.

Then she said: "That Madame Marois. She's going to get a bullet."
"Really?" I said.
"Oh yes. The mafia....when they shoot...they don't miss."
"You think so?"
"Oh yes, Mark my words."

Then I thought, who are you? Joe Pesci? but I didn't say anything else.

Mark my words.

Tracking

Am I the only person who becomes obsessed with tracking a package when I order something on-line?

I bought some stuff last week that is being shipped from British Columbia. The store sent me a link to track my stuff.  On the 4th, I saw that it was scanned and departed Richmond, BC. On the 5th and yesterday, I checked in the morning and in the evening, and nothing. Of course, I realize if it is coming from BC it needs a day or so to get GET HERE, but I still wanted the tracker to show me some progress.  Something like "flying over the (freezing) Praries", but no. Nothing.

But this morning, I see that my package arrived in Lachine and has been scanned, so it should be delivered today or Monday.  Yay. It's not even an Christmas present, but there is something so exciting about knowing my purchase is now close by.

I need more of a life.

This is what happens when I have no news from Fancy Feast for over a week.

Bond?

Ok, you James Bond experts, a question for you.

I saw Skyfall last week and thought that it was a lot of fun. Unbelievable, ridiculous, over the top, yes. But it was a great way to spend 2 hours plus.

But someone mentioned something that has been bugging me for 2 days now. If all agents use aliases, then why does the gravestone of Bond's parents say "Bond"? Is this explained anywhere in a previous movie or in a book? Is Bond the only MI6 agent who uses his real name? It seems especially clumsy since M makes a point of saying of what Javier Bardem's real name is, and what his agent name was. (No, she does not say his real name is Javier Bardem.) But then it appears that Bond is Bond's real name.

Maybe Bond's real first name is Raoul, and only James is an alias? I dunno.

Spoiler alert:  RAFE! I'm so glad he is the new M. Although he is not aging well. He'll be 50 this month and he looks it. This is the problem with being overly beautiful in one's youth. There's nowhere to go but down.  As all of us know. ha ha.