Yes, it is Easter Sunday, and more importantly, it is
The Eve of NaPoMo
Tis the eve of NaPoMo
and all thru the house
not a cat is stirring
since we don't have a mouse.
The dictionary is open,
and waiting for us
to consult it and our
Roget's Thesaurus.
This poem is clean.
It is G-rated
But soon NaPoMo will
be celebrated.
And then all the poems
the short and the long
Will be filled with such words
as doodle, wienie and dong.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Hockey Night in Montreal West
Hooray for the team of Anonymous Ro.
They won the Big Game with 4 seconds to go.
The night was not so ordinary.
I thought his dad would have a coronary.
But the star of the night, I gotta tell ya
Was the Muslim mom with her vuvuzela.
They won the Big Game with 4 seconds to go.
The night was not so ordinary.
I thought his dad would have a coronary.
But the star of the night, I gotta tell ya
Was the Muslim mom with her vuvuzela.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Pre-NaPoMo Celebrity-Death Combo
A poem from Knuckles, in anticipation of NaPoMo, just 10 days away, and to mark the death of Harry Reems.
"Dead is porn star Harry Reems,
at the age of 65.
His long shlong gone forever more,
but the memory stays alive.
The man literally was a fucker,
and did it oh so fine.
And had he toughed it just four more years,
he would've died at 69."
"Dead is porn star Harry Reems,
at the age of 65.
His long shlong gone forever more,
but the memory stays alive.
The man literally was a fucker,
and did it oh so fine.
And had he toughed it just four more years,
he would've died at 69."
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
A first!
On this first day of Spring (HA HA HA!) I got on the bus, which was crowded and quite slow due to the massive snowbanks everywhere. I got a seat at the back of the bus.
There was a guy, middle-aged, white, balding, eating a banana. Eating a banana like he is in his own kitchen and not on public transit. Then he took out a breakfast bar and ate that. Then he took out a second breakfast bar and ate that.
At this point, the bus was quite crowded, with guys standing, so my view of Mr. Breakfast was partially blocked. Thank god for that because suddenly I hear a buzzing noise, a quiet but distinct buzz. Yes, he had pulled out his electric razor and was shaving on the bus. A young girl sitting next to him looked over and then bured her face in her book (Black Boy by Richard Wright, I noted). Two Asian women sitting up from him turned around and looked. He was oblivious. A mother and daughter sitting across looked appalled but then started laughing to each other.
I noticed he wore a wedding band. Imagine being married to this guy. Being married to the guy who shaves on the city bus. There's only one valid reason for shaving in public: you are homeless. This guy clearly was not homeless, just a clueless boor.
There was a guy, middle-aged, white, balding, eating a banana. Eating a banana like he is in his own kitchen and not on public transit. Then he took out a breakfast bar and ate that. Then he took out a second breakfast bar and ate that.
At this point, the bus was quite crowded, with guys standing, so my view of Mr. Breakfast was partially blocked. Thank god for that because suddenly I hear a buzzing noise, a quiet but distinct buzz. Yes, he had pulled out his electric razor and was shaving on the bus. A young girl sitting next to him looked over and then bured her face in her book (Black Boy by Richard Wright, I noted). Two Asian women sitting up from him turned around and looked. He was oblivious. A mother and daughter sitting across looked appalled but then started laughing to each other.
I noticed he wore a wedding band. Imagine being married to this guy. Being married to the guy who shaves on the city bus. There's only one valid reason for shaving in public: you are homeless. This guy clearly was not homeless, just a clueless boor.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Friday, March 08, 2013
Pope Me, Baby!
The Papal Conclave starts on March 12. This leads to one burning question: What are the appropriate snacks to serve at a Conclave Party?
Unrelated to anything Papal: At lunch time I saw a man literally walk into a tree. On University. He was walking with his head turned to the street watching traffic for some unknown reason and then BONK into a narrow tree. He stopped, rubbed his nose, adjusted his glasses and kept walking. It was almost like this wasn't the first time this had happened to him... A man walking alone ahead of me turned around, smiling, to see if I had seen it too, but I was too surprised to smile. My brain was still processing the fact that The Benny Hill Show is real, not fiction.
Unrelated to anything Papal: At lunch time I saw a man literally walk into a tree. On University. He was walking with his head turned to the street watching traffic for some unknown reason and then BONK into a narrow tree. He stopped, rubbed his nose, adjusted his glasses and kept walking. It was almost like this wasn't the first time this had happened to him... A man walking alone ahead of me turned around, smiling, to see if I had seen it too, but I was too surprised to smile. My brain was still processing the fact that The Benny Hill Show is real, not fiction.
Monday, March 04, 2013
Naughty, naughty
Smoothie and his girlfriend (of 8 months) have planned their first weekend getaway, to the Nation's Capital, in 2 weeks. Both Smoothie and gf still live at home (both are 27). When she told her father they were going away for a weekend, her father asked if they would have separate beds and then he said "there better not be any hanky-panky".
Perhaps he is not aware that there has been excessive hanky pankying going on for the past 8 months.
Hanky panky. It's the word of the day. I had not heard that expression in years, and I suspect Smoothie had never heard it at all before yesterday.
My baby does the hanky panky. Now that song is in my head.
In other news: Our New Boss arrives today. Will he be a non-entity? or will reports of his antics make him a regular item of interest on the blog. If so, he will need a nickname. Stay tuned...
Perhaps he is not aware that there has been excessive hanky pankying going on for the past 8 months.
Hanky panky. It's the word of the day. I had not heard that expression in years, and I suspect Smoothie had never heard it at all before yesterday.
My baby does the hanky panky. Now that song is in my head.
In other news: Our New Boss arrives today. Will he be a non-entity? or will reports of his antics make him a regular item of interest on the blog. If so, he will need a nickname. Stay tuned...
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Happy Birthday to Me
Everyone should have the day off because it is MY birthday. But even I am at work. Sob!
When I turned 49, I declared that I was on a "Fit for 50" plan. Well, given the outstanding success of that initiative over the past 3 years, I now declare that starting today I am on a "Fit for 53" campaign. Wish me luck.
When I turned 49, I declared that I was on a "Fit for 50" plan. Well, given the outstanding success of that initiative over the past 3 years, I now declare that starting today I am on a "Fit for 53" campaign. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
B-Day Wishes, Day 2
Happy Birthday to Mrs. Anon. If I am not mistaken, you are a mere 45 today. Ha! Youth!
I hope all your boys are treating you well on this grand day.
I hope all your boys are treating you well on this grand day.
Monday, February 18, 2013
B-Day Wishes, Day 1
This is a double birthday week on the blog. First up...
Happy Birthday to Ms Mushrooms. Are you recovering from the Indian food feast you were set to enjoy last night? I hope Mr Mushrooms and the young Mushrooms are being good to you today.
Enjoy it all. We are not getting any younger!
Happy Birthday to Ms Mushrooms. Are you recovering from the Indian food feast you were set to enjoy last night? I hope Mr Mushrooms and the young Mushrooms are being good to you today.
Enjoy it all. We are not getting any younger!
Friday, February 15, 2013
Astral Ball of Confusion
I thought today was the day the Earth would be attacked by a giant asteroid. But it turned out that today is the day when the Earth was attacked by a giant meteor.
I am confused. From the Guardian's website:
...the Russian deputy prime minister said neither Moscow nor Washington had the power to shoot such objects down as they approached. "At the moment, neither we nor the Americans have such technologies" to shoot down meteors or asteroids, he said, according to the Interfax news agency.
Isn't this what we have Superheroes for? Where are Superman, Batman, Iron Man, The Hulk? Whoever? You guys have totally disappointed me.
I am confused. From the Guardian's website:
...the Russian deputy prime minister said neither Moscow nor Washington had the power to shoot such objects down as they approached. "At the moment, neither we nor the Americans have such technologies" to shoot down meteors or asteroids, he said, according to the Interfax news agency.
Isn't this what we have Superheroes for? Where are Superman, Batman, Iron Man, The Hulk? Whoever? You guys have totally disappointed me.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
V Day
Happy Valentine's Day to one and all.
Work has been so busy. No time to blog, barely any time to email. Moi? No time to blog or email? How is this possible?
Work has been so busy. No time to blog, barely any time to email. Moi? No time to blog or email? How is this possible?
Monday, February 11, 2013
Vacating the Vatican
So the Pope threw in the Papal Towel today. I betcha didn't know there even was a Papal Towel. (I made it up.) He said, in Latin, I'm outta here. I'm going to Disney World, etc.
Let this be a lesson to every old worker everywhere who is hanging on to his/her job, thinking that they can't possibly retire because "what will the place do without me? I am the glue that holds this place together". Retire. Leave. Now. Vamoose with ya.
If the Pope can call it quits, so can you. The world will not end. Let the Papal Succession stakes begin! If ever there was an event that called for a NaPoMo poem this is it. Sadly, we are forced to do without. Amen.
Let this be a lesson to every old worker everywhere who is hanging on to his/her job, thinking that they can't possibly retire because "what will the place do without me? I am the glue that holds this place together". Retire. Leave. Now. Vamoose with ya.
If the Pope can call it quits, so can you. The world will not end. Let the Papal Succession stakes begin! If ever there was an event that called for a NaPoMo poem this is it. Sadly, we are forced to do without. Amen.
Wednesday, February 06, 2013
It's that time of year again...again!
Happy Birthday to Mr. Anon. 52 years young today.
I don't know what else to add. I hate getting older! wah!
I don't know what else to add. I hate getting older! wah!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
What Can I Say?
Jim Nabors got married. To another man.
My first instinct was to write "Golly" or "Surprise, surprise, surprise" but since that appears to have been the first instinct of everyone else on the Internet, I won't.
I was not actually sure if Jim Nabors was still alive or not, so maybe I can say surprise, surprise, surprise about that. Congratulations to the happy couple.
My first instinct was to write "Golly" or "Surprise, surprise, surprise" but since that appears to have been the first instinct of everyone else on the Internet, I won't.
I was not actually sure if Jim Nabors was still alive or not, so maybe I can say surprise, surprise, surprise about that. Congratulations to the happy couple.
Monday, January 28, 2013
My Kingdom for a Snorkel
Today I got on the bus on University and LaGauchetiere at 4:50, as usual. The bus went up University to Rene-Levesque where more people got on, as usual. We continued up University, as usual. When we got to St. Catherine we were suddenly in the middle of AN IRWIN ALLEN PRODUCTION.
Water. Everywhere. The bus stuck on ice in the middle of University. Spinning tires. Bus fishtailing. Not advancing. Freezing water all around the bus. We made it to the corner of deMaisonneuve but couldn't make the turn because there was too much ice. All the passengers went to the back of the bus to make some weight at the back. After about 20 attempts we got around the corner. We all clapped, foolishly thinking our ordeal was over....
...but it wasn't. We got stuck again at deMais and Metcalfe. Spinning tires, flood waters all around. I was afraid I would have to swim like Shelly. Firemen had to guide the bus in reverse back to McGill College so we could turn. It was surreal.
I got home in just over 2 hours. I wondered if Mr. Anon was trapped in his office.
Water. Everywhere. The bus stuck on ice in the middle of University. Spinning tires. Bus fishtailing. Not advancing. Freezing water all around the bus. We made it to the corner of deMaisonneuve but couldn't make the turn because there was too much ice. All the passengers went to the back of the bus to make some weight at the back. After about 20 attempts we got around the corner. We all clapped, foolishly thinking our ordeal was over....
...but it wasn't. We got stuck again at deMais and Metcalfe. Spinning tires, flood waters all around. I was afraid I would have to swim like Shelly. Firemen had to guide the bus in reverse back to McGill College so we could turn. It was surreal.
I got home in just over 2 hours. I wondered if Mr. Anon was trapped in his office.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Please release me, let me go (Part XXXII)
Guess who got offered an extension yesterday?
Mark Carney? No.
Prince Harry? No.
Knuckles Girlyskirt? YES.
He's never going to get to enjoy that 14-month package, is he? Mr. KG gets to savour his 3 weeks of Mexican chips and then return to the land of peanut butter and cheese until the end of March. Fortunately for us, that leaves him available in April to contribute to NaPoMo on a daily basis. Poetry Rules!
Mark Carney? No.
Prince Harry? No.
Knuckles Girlyskirt? YES.
He's never going to get to enjoy that 14-month package, is he? Mr. KG gets to savour his 3 weeks of Mexican chips and then return to the land of peanut butter and cheese until the end of March. Fortunately for us, that leaves him available in April to contribute to NaPoMo on a daily basis. Poetry Rules!
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