Saturday, January 17, 2015

Let Me Keep This Vague

I shouldn't be blogging about this, but some things are just too good for a gossipy blogger to resist.

So, vaguely, let me say that someone who works in the same place I do was nabbed by the Feds in California late last year. Let's call him The Nabbed. The Nabbed has been charged with five counts of nefarious activities, of the bribery and fraud variety, and is currently sitting in the Big House awaiting preliminary hearing (or whatever the Americans call this first stage of proceedings).

There has been no official word from the Administration on this, but ooooh boy, is it all over the building!

Anyway, this week I happened upon the affidavit which was submitted by the FBI agent in charge of the case. And, oooh boy, is it a good one. This is the first time I have ever read such type of document.

Let me just say this about a well-written affidavit. A well-written affidavit makes you think "Wow, we find the Defendant incredibly guilty!"  I've been wanting to use this line since yesterday. And now I have. Believe me, it is a thorough and darn well-written affidavit. Oh, the details! It has it all: Eastern European bad guys, a Swiss bank account, money in brown envelopes.

Being the kind of person who likes to ridicule the criminal element, I have been joking all week about trying to picture The Nabbed in an orange jumpsuit, as he circles the prison yard looking for like-minded white-collar criminals with whom he can discuss fine wines and international jet setting whilst avoiding like hell any big guys named Bubba.


LLJ said...

Plus if the guy is a jerk there is the added value of karma coming their way. Think of all the mac n cheese he'll be faced with.

mshrms said...

how does one just happen upon a (well-written) affidavit? such an exciting life you lead at your workplace-that-shall-not-be-named

Nanuk of the North, older but no wiser said...

A copy of the well-written affidavit was provided to a number of higher-ups and it miraculously reproduced itself and ended up in the hands of many of us lower-downs.

Nanuk of the North, older but no wiser said...

The air is thick with Schadenfreude, believe me.