Sunday, August 12, 2012

The Long Awaited Return of Fancy Feast

My phone range at 8:30 a.m. today. I was still in bed, but I could hear Fancy Feast's voice leaving a message. He was in town. I had been told he was coming, but hadn't heard from him in over a week so I didn't know if his trip was still on. It was.

Where to begin...he has a new girlfriend and she lives about 15 minutes from me on foot. Now how convenient is that? She is recently divorced and has two small kids, so she doesn't want him staying overnight at her place until he gets to know her children. He has not met them yet. So this weekend he stayed in a rented room in NDG. Any wagers on whether I am going to be asked if, in future, he can stay here because he can't afford to rent a room every couple of weeks? I'd say that the chances of that request coming my way soon are 100%.

So I returned his call and what is the first thing he asks. Can I rent a car from the car share co. in order for us to go to Verdun to pick up his favourite rotisserie chicken. They do not deliver to NDG. I kid you not. I said, no way am I renting a car so you can get chicken for lunch. He carried on as if I had said yes. I said, I'm not doing it. Forget it. He still went on about the fries and sauce. I had to get rude and say YOU AREN'T LISTENING!! I AM NOT RENTING A CAR TO GET CHICKEN! He sighed and said "fine".

He came over around 12 and we ordered Chalet. It was good enough for me. I felt totally stuffed.

Anyway, I won't go into every anecdote I heard in 3 hours, but the one that will stay in my mind is when I asked how his sister was doing. She got married last November (which was another drama I won't go into). He told me she is getting a divorce. I was quite shocked. He ran through the long list of everything that was terrible and awful about his soon-to-be-ex-brother-in-law, but the one image that will stay with me forever is he has untreated toe fungus.

I really have to end it here because I can't top that.


cityofmushrooms said...

ah FF!!

Anonymous said...

wow, the post was totally worth the wait. We want to hear more. Is the piece of artwork still in your yard then?

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with the above...the posts may be few and far between...but this one was totally worth it.

I need more stories...They make T and I seem almost normal.

Do you have the name of the Verdun chicken place? know, just in case I'm ever in that neck of the woods.

JAW fan

Brian Busby said...

Oh, for goodness sake, has the man never hired a cab?

And about that whole divorce in under a year thing - it happens, even to people without toe fungus.

Harry Flashman said...

Chalet is the best rotisserie chicken going! It's better than Au Coq, St. Hubert or any other place.