I'm really depressed about the election, the economy and Paul Newman dying, so I need to change the tone.
Thank you Globe & Mail for the following: A Chinese herbal remedy called horny goat weed is a promising alternative to Viagra for impotent men, Italian researchers said on Monday.
Leave it to the Italians to buy marijuana from aroused Chinese goats.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Warning! national nightmare ahead
Noooooooooo!
Majority movement gains speed as Harper's lead soars (Globe & Mail)
Harper's lead soars.
Somebody, awaken me from my bad dream. A Conservative majority. Yikes.
The dinosaur museums in Alberta will have to change all their signs. "These dinosaurs walked the Earth six thousand years ago, side by side with man, when God created the world in six days. And on the seventh he rested."
What am I saying? Museums? We won't have no stinkin' museums. Museums are for elitists who like "art" and stuff like that, and ordinary Canadians don't like art. So sayeth Steve-o.
Majority movement gains speed as Harper's lead soars (Globe & Mail)
Harper's lead soars.
Somebody, awaken me from my bad dream. A Conservative majority. Yikes.
The dinosaur museums in Alberta will have to change all their signs. "These dinosaurs walked the Earth six thousand years ago, side by side with man, when God created the world in six days. And on the seventh he rested."
What am I saying? Museums? We won't have no stinkin' museums. Museums are for elitists who like "art" and stuff like that, and ordinary Canadians don't like art. So sayeth Steve-o.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Weird and disturbing
Two stories about babies in the paper yesterday. Both in Bangladesh.
One was of a baby born weighing 33 pounds. The baby was unhealthy and died within minutes after birth. But the story is about the fact that thousands of people went to the parents' house to see the baby, and the parents had to hide him. Good God, mind your own business, people.
Second story involved a baby born with two heads last month. Again the child died, but in this case 150,000 people went to the town to see the baby. 150,000!
What is with these people? Leave these families alone. You think the trauma of this birth isn't bad enough but then they have their towns inundated with curious onlookers. Go home!
One was of a baby born weighing 33 pounds. The baby was unhealthy and died within minutes after birth. But the story is about the fact that thousands of people went to the parents' house to see the baby, and the parents had to hide him. Good God, mind your own business, people.
Second story involved a baby born with two heads last month. Again the child died, but in this case 150,000 people went to the town to see the baby. 150,000!
What is with these people? Leave these families alone. You think the trauma of this birth isn't bad enough but then they have their towns inundated with curious onlookers. Go home!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
The Debate: News Flash!
McCain is a Grumpy Old Man.
Why are columnists, etc., surprised by this?
I, personally, thought the debate was a draw. BO did not wipe the floor with the GOM as I expected him to, so I didn't think McCain was that bad. But apparently I am not pundit material because all the "experts" seem to think Obama won. So what do I know?
I do predict, though, that there will not be any VP debate. It's too much of a train wreck in the making.
It was great to see Crazy Joe Biden on NBC and CNN post-debate, blabbing away about how his man did. And then followed by No Sarah Palin. She must've been hidden away in an undisclosed location. So who did the Republicans throw out there to support their side? Effing creep of all creeps Giulani. I had to bathe after seeing him. Icky. Poo Poo Rudy.
Why are columnists, etc., surprised by this?
I, personally, thought the debate was a draw. BO did not wipe the floor with the GOM as I expected him to, so I didn't think McCain was that bad. But apparently I am not pundit material because all the "experts" seem to think Obama won. So what do I know?
I do predict, though, that there will not be any VP debate. It's too much of a train wreck in the making.
It was great to see Crazy Joe Biden on NBC and CNN post-debate, blabbing away about how his man did. And then followed by No Sarah Palin. She must've been hidden away in an undisclosed location. So who did the Republicans throw out there to support their side? Effing creep of all creeps Giulani. I had to bathe after seeing him. Icky. Poo Poo Rudy.
So long Fast Eddie
Wah! Paul Newman has died.
He was the first celebrity I've ever saw in person. When I was 12 or 13, he came to beautiful downtown Valleyfield to participate in a car race that was held on our frozen bay.
I hated winter even then, but I still trudged down to the bay to try to see him in person. Which I did, and from quite close-up. Certainly close enough that when I got home I said to my parents "he really does have very blue eyes". They were very, very blue.
He was in a lot of cool movies. We should play pool in his honour today.
He was the first celebrity I've ever saw in person. When I was 12 or 13, he came to beautiful downtown Valleyfield to participate in a car race that was held on our frozen bay.
I hated winter even then, but I still trudged down to the bay to try to see him in person. Which I did, and from quite close-up. Certainly close enough that when I got home I said to my parents "he really does have very blue eyes". They were very, very blue.
He was in a lot of cool movies. We should play pool in his honour today.
Friday, September 26, 2008
A passing thought
Things are soooo shitty crappy lousy for the Republicans right now, this might be a good time to announce that they have captured bin Laden.
Osama, save us from Obama!
Osama, save us from Obama!
Excitement!
The debate is on for tonight. The political nerd in me is all a-tingle.
If I down a shot of scotch every time McCain mentions that he was a POW, I should be drunk in no time.
And assuming the Biden-Crazy Lady debate goes forward next Friday, I should be beside myself with anticipation by then. (Yes, I know we have our leaders' debate at the same time, but, well, the potential for live television disaster just isn't the same up here.)
If I down a shot of scotch every time McCain mentions that he was a POW, I should be drunk in no time.
And assuming the Biden-Crazy Lady debate goes forward next Friday, I should be beside myself with anticipation by then. (Yes, I know we have our leaders' debate at the same time, but, well, the potential for live television disaster just isn't the same up here.)
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Romantic Malebox Update
Back on July 8, I blogged this:
“I just got a pick-up offer from a verrrry cute Indian guy here in Montreal. Very cute indeed. Only problem is he's 27 years old. 2-7? Maybe I can ask him if his father is single...Got any photos of your dad, sonny? Too bad my niece already has a cute boyfriend. I'll reluctantly have to hit Delete again. My loss this time.”
Well, he has reappeared. And this time I figure why not meet him? It’s not like anything worthwhile has happened since July 8, right?
I asked him why he is not pursuing women his own age. He says he’s fed with them. Oh, those foolish, flighty young women!
“I just got a pick-up offer from a verrrry cute Indian guy here in Montreal. Very cute indeed. Only problem is he's 27 years old. 2-7? Maybe I can ask him if his father is single...Got any photos of your dad, sonny? Too bad my niece already has a cute boyfriend. I'll reluctantly have to hit Delete again. My loss this time.”
Well, he has reappeared. And this time I figure why not meet him? It’s not like anything worthwhile has happened since July 8, right?
I asked him why he is not pursuing women his own age. He says he’s fed with them. Oh, those foolish, flighty young women!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
It's a real crisis
President Chimperor will be on t.v. tonight to address the American nation about the financial crisis.
I know I speak for humans everywhere when I say: I am so relieved. Thank goodness he is on top of the situation.
My money feels safer already.
Seeing how reassuring he always is in any crisis, I feel this would be a good time for a run on the bank. Mattress stuffing to follow.
I know I speak for humans everywhere when I say: I am so relieved. Thank goodness he is on top of the situation.
My money feels safer already.
Seeing how reassuring he always is in any crisis, I feel this would be a good time for a run on the bank. Mattress stuffing to follow.
The Larry and Mahmoud Show
I watched a bit of Larry King’s interview with Mahmoud last night. But watching Larry is torture at the best of times, and last night he was just too stupid to deal with. I preferred to watch very obese people getting weighed on the Biggest Loser. Actually, how can any show other than Larry King Live be rightfully called the Bigger Loser. But I digress….
Larry seemed unclear on one concept. If you are talking through an interpreter, you…don’t…have...to…talk…slow….Larry. The interpreter understands English. It’s not like the interpreter is going to say no comprendo in Persian.
Also, Ahmadinejad may not know who Sarah Palin is exactly, and what job she is running for, but he does know that going on Larry King means a softball interview. No wonder he’s becoming a regular.
Most nauseating thing I saw on the news this a.m. Palin kissing Henry (why isn't he dead yet?) Kissinger. You could tell the old war criminal was surprised and possibly thinking, hey I still got it.
Larry seemed unclear on one concept. If you are talking through an interpreter, you…don’t…have...to…talk…slow….Larry. The interpreter understands English. It’s not like the interpreter is going to say no comprendo in Persian.
Also, Ahmadinejad may not know who Sarah Palin is exactly, and what job she is running for, but he does know that going on Larry King means a softball interview. No wonder he’s becoming a regular.
Most nauseating thing I saw on the news this a.m. Palin kissing Henry (why isn't he dead yet?) Kissinger. You could tell the old war criminal was surprised and possibly thinking, hey I still got it.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I LOVE this time of year
The house was really cold this morning so I decided to rev up the furnace. Not that I can afford to frivolously burn my preciousssss oil, but the place needed a jolt of heat.
So I turned up the thermostat...and....pfft. She no work.
It's going to be a grrrreat Fall and Winter. I can feel it in my bones.
So I turned up the thermostat...and....pfft. She no work.
It's going to be a grrrreat Fall and Winter. I can feel it in my bones.
Let's talk about....
It's time for a new feature: The Tuesday morning sex round-up!
Item 1:
A couple in South Africa who were having sex on a railway track in Mpumalanga Province have been killed by a goods train, police say. (BBC)
My first thought: there are worse ways to die. For example, being killed by a speeding train while not having sex.
Item 2:
I don't have the quote from the paper on this one, but I read over the weekend about a guy in Alberta (Edmonton? Calgary?) who has been arrested for visiting Open Houses and then masturbating in the bedrooms. Perhaps unclear on the concept of the master bedroom?
A real fixer-upper! Needs TLC.
Item 1:
A couple in South Africa who were having sex on a railway track in Mpumalanga Province have been killed by a goods train, police say. (BBC)
My first thought: there are worse ways to die. For example, being killed by a speeding train while not having sex.
Item 2:
I don't have the quote from the paper on this one, but I read over the weekend about a guy in Alberta (Edmonton? Calgary?) who has been arrested for visiting Open Houses and then masturbating in the bedrooms. Perhaps unclear on the concept of the master bedroom?
A real fixer-upper! Needs TLC.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Still thinking about DFW
In a moment that could’ve been captured by DFW himself, I just finished reading an appreciation of him. It went into his analysis of the emptiness of our world, etc., etc., the kind of thing I’ve been reading all week. And then, just after the end of the article, the sponsored link declared “I hate my yellow teeth”. I believe he could’ve appreciated that.
A DFW quote:
Learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed.
A DFW quote:
Learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed.
Swiss cheese
That particle collider in Switzerland that was supposed to do something that accidentally destroys the universe has been shut down for repairs. For 2 months!
You realize what kind of backlog of uncollided particles this is going to cause. They better have a hotline set up in Bangalore to answer all those calls from irate customers saying "where am I supposed to go now to get my particles collided?" gawd.
You realize what kind of backlog of uncollided particles this is going to cause. They better have a hotline set up in Bangalore to answer all those calls from irate customers saying "where am I supposed to go now to get my particles collided?" gawd.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Tell me if I'm being too cynical
My prediction for the "November surprise":
Two days before the US election: Palin's son who is in Iraq drunkenly slips on a bar of soap in the shower and cracks open his head, requiring a few stitches.
One day before the election: Major news stories everywhere about how the brave soldier was injured in an incident, but no details yet available.
Election day: Massive sympathy vote by True Patriots for the brave Mom of the brave wounded soldier.
Result: Idiots put McCain in the White House.
Two days before the US election: Palin's son who is in Iraq drunkenly slips on a bar of soap in the shower and cracks open his head, requiring a few stitches.
One day before the election: Major news stories everywhere about how the brave soldier was injured in an incident, but no details yet available.
Election day: Massive sympathy vote by True Patriots for the brave Mom of the brave wounded soldier.
Result: Idiots put McCain in the White House.
To market, to market
So both the TSX and the Dow are up over 400 points today. I just don't get the markets. On Monday it was doomsday and today it's like everybody decided to forget Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday and just be optimistic. I'm not complaining. I know this is good news.
Now I have a yard full of goats I need to unload.
Now I have a yard full of goats I need to unload.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
What's it worth to ya?
Following the financial news this week, and being a hopeless nerd who actually spends precious minutes pondering such intangibles, I was thinking about how a $100 bill is just a piece of paper with the number 100 printed on it. It has value because we share a belief that that piece of paper, based solely on the belief we collectively put in it, is the equivalent of a certain amount of goods and/or services. Nothing gives it value other than our shared faith that a 100 is worth a 100. A hundred what? Dollars or pounds or yuans. But what are those things? Other pieces of paper. And faith.
What a way to run a world.
How do we determine what is worth handing over a paper with 100 written on it versus something that is only worth a piece of paper with 20 written on it.
Who invented this insanity?
What a way to run a world.
How do we determine what is worth handing over a paper with 100 written on it versus something that is only worth a piece of paper with 20 written on it.
Who invented this insanity?
At least in ancient times when coins were gold, they were gold. Gold is nice and shiny and tangible. You can touch it and it feels nice. And other people would like to have some too, so you can trade it for stuff. But paper with somebody's face on it? I don't get it. Bring back the Gold Standard!
Human beings are far too unstable and insane to be depended upon to handle this kind of abstract transaction. Yet we all do it. And we never question it. How do we determine worth? And how do we transfer our understanding of what a good or service is “worth” onto a piece of paper?
I won’t even begin to contemplate stocks and bonds. Something like $2 trillion has "disappeared" from the world economy this year. It is all about faith, isn't it? Is there anything else (maybe religion?) that can control every day of our lives, and we just accept that it can vanish.
A Montreal moment
The other day I was across the street from work picking up a coffee. And there were these two men in their mid-to-late sixties, speaking French, having a coffee and talking. In French.
And one is saying: "I can't place him."
The other: "You'd know him if you saw him. He was a team with his wife. I can't remember her name. He's really short."
First guy: "What was his name again?"
Second guy: "Jerry Stiller. He is so funny."
I resisted the urge to walk over and say Anne Meara. I almost did, though.
And one is saying: "I can't place him."
The other: "You'd know him if you saw him. He was a team with his wife. I can't remember her name. He's really short."
First guy: "What was his name again?"
Second guy: "Jerry Stiller. He is so funny."
I resisted the urge to walk over and say Anne Meara. I almost did, though.
Here I go again
I have to go to NYC in mid-October to write an exam for a job at the Head Office of the powers-that-be. My expenses will NOT be paid. If I pass the exam, and get an interview, then they pay those expenses, but not this time. Cheap-o.
Oh well. I think the experience of going there and sitting in the hallowed halls is worth the money. Who knows? Maybe I'll do okay, and they'll offer me a job. Right.
Oh well. I think the experience of going there and sitting in the hallowed halls is worth the money. Who knows? Maybe I'll do okay, and they'll offer me a job. Right.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Somewhere, Karl Marx is smiling
85 billion here, 85 billion there.
Pretty soon, you're talking real money.
So, down in Pinko America, the government saved a major private insurance company by taking over while handing them a 2-year loan.
On the news they say, markets breathed a sigh of relief. It's only 2 years, people. How dumb is "the market"? What do they think is going to happen in the next 2 years? Planet Earth will win the inter-galactic 6/49 and all our money problems will be over.
Maybe I'm an overly long-term thinker, but a 2-year respite, to me, means start looking for another job. In 2 years, the company is going to need another loan.
AIG = Welfare queen.
Pretty soon, you're talking real money.
So, down in Pinko America, the government saved a major private insurance company by taking over while handing them a 2-year loan.
On the news they say, markets breathed a sigh of relief. It's only 2 years, people. How dumb is "the market"? What do they think is going to happen in the next 2 years? Planet Earth will win the inter-galactic 6/49 and all our money problems will be over.
Maybe I'm an overly long-term thinker, but a 2-year respite, to me, means start looking for another job. In 2 years, the company is going to need another loan.
AIG = Welfare queen.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
In business news 2
I've just been discussing the astronomical losses involved in the Lehman Bros bankruptcy. (yes, instead of working.)
A colleague's back-of-the-napkin calculations showed that, on a level we can understand, the devaluation of their assets is the equivalent of my having $450 in my bank account, and going to the bank and discovering that all of it had evaporated except for 15 cents.
As one other colleague said: Hey, I'd be so pisssed off if that happened!
Indeed.
It's not much a stretch to go from that image to those 1920s Germans* buying a loaf of bread with a wheelbarrow full of cash.
(*or 2008 Zimbabweans)
We're freakin' doomed, aren't we?
A colleague's back-of-the-napkin calculations showed that, on a level we can understand, the devaluation of their assets is the equivalent of my having $450 in my bank account, and going to the bank and discovering that all of it had evaporated except for 15 cents.
As one other colleague said: Hey, I'd be so pisssed off if that happened!
Indeed.
It's not much a stretch to go from that image to those 1920s Germans* buying a loaf of bread with a wheelbarrow full of cash.
(*or 2008 Zimbabweans)
We're freakin' doomed, aren't we?
V-a-c-a-t-i-o-n
The countdown beginneth. 2 months (long months? short months?) from today I depart on a hiking holiday adventure.
Lucky citizens all over the island of Cuba will have an opportunity to laugh riotously at my attempts to haul my fat backside over their hillsides.
Hey, these folks have been through a lot this season, and they deserve some comic relief.
I haven't got the actual itinerary yet, but in addition to 7 hikes the trip includes a day or two in Havana. Yay.
Me gusto La Habana! arriba.
Lucky citizens all over the island of Cuba will have an opportunity to laugh riotously at my attempts to haul my fat backside over their hillsides.
Hey, these folks have been through a lot this season, and they deserve some comic relief.
I haven't got the actual itinerary yet, but in addition to 7 hikes the trip includes a day or two in Havana. Yay.
Me gusto La Habana! arriba.
In business news
After Lehman Bros., now it looks like AIG might be next to go belly up.
Does that mean the guy with the accent will be out of a job?
Will we never see him again, and thus never figure out just what kind of accent he has?
Does that mean the guy with the accent will be out of a job?
Will we never see him again, and thus never figure out just what kind of accent he has?
Sunday, September 14, 2008
DFW
Last night I decided to re-read Wallace's article for Harper's about his 7-night Caribbean Cruise. It's probably my favourite piece of writing by him. It is sooo funny.
What shocked me was, in the first 10 pages or so, suicide comes up again and again. I didn't remember that at all. It was spooky.
One of his points was that the endless pampering and comfort and forced enjoyment of a luxury cruise brings on a sense of despair.
But I was still laughing at the funny bits.
What shocked me was, in the first 10 pages or so, suicide comes up again and again. I didn't remember that at all. It was spooky.
One of his points was that the endless pampering and comfort and forced enjoyment of a luxury cruise brings on a sense of despair.
But I was still laughing at the funny bits.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Holy Shit!
David Foster Wallace killed himself.
Wow.
This is the kind of news that makes me relieved I'm not a genius.
Crap.
Wow.
This is the kind of news that makes me relieved I'm not a genius.
Crap.
All Hail Ray!
Our new hero:
South of Galveston, authorities said 67-year-old Ray Wilkinson was the only resident who didn't leave Surfside Beach, population 800. He was drunk and waving when authorities reached him on Saturday morning. "He kinda drank his way through the night," Mayor Larry Davison said. (Globe & Mail)
South of Galveston, authorities said 67-year-old Ray Wilkinson was the only resident who didn't leave Surfside Beach, population 800. He was drunk and waving when authorities reached him on Saturday morning. "He kinda drank his way through the night," Mayor Larry Davison said. (Globe & Mail)
Friday, September 12, 2008
Certain Death?
OK. The US National Weather Service is getting scary. Usually their reports use nice words like "low pressure system" and "chance of showers" but not today. Today they're threatening CERTAIN DEATH in the path of the hurricane. Yikes.
"Persons not heeding evacuation orders in single family one- or two-storey homes will face certain death."
Stop it. You're scaring me!
"Persons not heeding evacuation orders in single family one- or two-storey homes will face certain death."
Stop it. You're scaring me!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
ABC
Thank god for loose cannons. Danny Williams plainly said what everyone knows but nobody in the public sphere dared say yet: A Tory majority will be the worst thing ever for this country.
That he said it while a guy promenaded around the meeting hall in a puffin costume just added to the "drama". I enjoyed it.
Of course, this will cost Newfoundland dearly if Devil in a Blue Sweater does get his majority, but at least it has been said. And the way things are looking now, the majority seems less likely to me. Fingers crossed.
That he said it while a guy promenaded around the meeting hall in a puffin costume just added to the "drama". I enjoyed it.
Of course, this will cost Newfoundland dearly if Devil in a Blue Sweater does get his majority, but at least it has been said. And the way things are looking now, the majority seems less likely to me. Fingers crossed.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Book news: Bor-ing
I'm reading Women in Love. It's the first Lawrence I've read. And I'm hating it. I've struggled through 200 pages but I'm on the verge of throwing in the towel on this lot of self-absorbed nitwits.
In real life, I'm against guns. But as these are fictional characters, I'm more than ready to line them all up against a rustic English stone wall and mow them down. I really hate this bunch of idiots.
In real life, I'm against guns. But as these are fictional characters, I'm more than ready to line them all up against a rustic English stone wall and mow them down. I really hate this bunch of idiots.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
It's a Wonder(wall)
As an Oasis fan, I am under obligation to comment on the fact that Noel was attacked on stage the other night in Toronto.
The only thing that makes this newsworthy is that it was not Liam who attacked him.
If it had been Liam, the incident would've been called just a regular Sunday.
The only thing that makes this newsworthy is that it was not Liam who attacked him.
If it had been Liam, the incident would've been called just a regular Sunday.
I hate Steve (October Election: 1st in a series)
Devil with a blue sweater,
blue sweater, blue sweater,
Devil with a blue sweater on.
How I hate him.
And anyone who watched The National last night must've, like me, been wondering: when is he going to shake hands with that baby? For those missed it, there was Steve in his blue v-neck, breakfasting with an Asian family in BC. Would you let Steve spoon-feed your baby? How did they coerce these nice decent-looking people into letting Steve into their kitchen?
Meanwhile, there is Stephane yelling in French (the only language he can comfortably yell in) that Steve is a liar, liar, liar. Is anyone listening?
No Green Party allowed in the debate. But they have an MP! He's corrupt, but he's still theirs!
blue sweater, blue sweater,
Devil with a blue sweater on.
How I hate him.
And anyone who watched The National last night must've, like me, been wondering: when is he going to shake hands with that baby? For those missed it, there was Steve in his blue v-neck, breakfasting with an Asian family in BC. Would you let Steve spoon-feed your baby? How did they coerce these nice decent-looking people into letting Steve into their kitchen?
Meanwhile, there is Stephane yelling in French (the only language he can comfortably yell in) that Steve is a liar, liar, liar. Is anyone listening?
No Green Party allowed in the debate. But they have an MP! He's corrupt, but he's still theirs!
Monday, September 08, 2008
Computerless
I remain computerless at home. The "guy" told me I would get my laptop back on Thursday. With a new hard disk. Whatever.
Mr. Anonymous tells me to buy a Mac. Apparently if I do this I will live forever in Happy Computer Heaven. I repeat: whatever.
What the true inconvenience is here is that it means I have to watch Mad Men at the office again this week. I did this after 5:00 p.m. one day last week and it seemed like a bad idea since Draper seemed to spend half the episode in bed with his latest (loud) moaning conquest. Not to mention a scene with burlesque dancers. I didn't want the cleaning lady walking in on me and my pseudo Draper softcore. Maybe the characters will be better behaved this week.
Mr. Anonymous tells me to buy a Mac. Apparently if I do this I will live forever in Happy Computer Heaven. I repeat: whatever.
What the true inconvenience is here is that it means I have to watch Mad Men at the office again this week. I did this after 5:00 p.m. one day last week and it seemed like a bad idea since Draper seemed to spend half the episode in bed with his latest (loud) moaning conquest. Not to mention a scene with burlesque dancers. I didn't want the cleaning lady walking in on me and my pseudo Draper softcore. Maybe the characters will be better behaved this week.
And they're off!
It's Election time. wheee. I'm sure JAW Fan is on the edge of his seat.
I can only see one good thing about the campaign so far. It has knocked the Crazy Lady from Alaska off our Canadian t.v.'s. Good.
Two bad things about the NDP: Jack has decided to give speeches that include the words "when I am Prime Minister" which sound delusional, and he has decided to embrace the Obama themes of "hope" and "change", which is embarrassing and unoriginal.
A Tory Majority must be avoided at all costs. Heck, I'd vote for the Bloc now if I thought it could keep Harper in his place. Uppity Westerner!
As usual, my vote will mean less than zero, as I remain in my 80%+ Liberal enclave. Some day, I'd like to have a vote that means something. Never in this neighbourhood.
I can only see one good thing about the campaign so far. It has knocked the Crazy Lady from Alaska off our Canadian t.v.'s. Good.
Two bad things about the NDP: Jack has decided to give speeches that include the words "when I am Prime Minister" which sound delusional, and he has decided to embrace the Obama themes of "hope" and "change", which is embarrassing and unoriginal.
A Tory Majority must be avoided at all costs. Heck, I'd vote for the Bloc now if I thought it could keep Harper in his place. Uppity Westerner!
As usual, my vote will mean less than zero, as I remain in my 80%+ Liberal enclave. Some day, I'd like to have a vote that means something. Never in this neighbourhood.
Friday, September 05, 2008
Romantic Malebox News: At last!
This is it.
I've found him. The one. The perfect man. He is 44, lives in Ottawa, owns cats and plays the bagpipes.
Now I have to come up with an incredibly witty e-mail to approach him with. Suggestions?
I've found him. The one. The perfect man. He is 44, lives in Ottawa, owns cats and plays the bagpipes.
Now I have to come up with an incredibly witty e-mail to approach him with. Suggestions?
More Politics
I didn't watch any of McGrumpy's speech last night. I couldn't be bothered, preferred to go to bed early.
But this morning I quickly flipped to CNN and ABC, and both networks were talking about....Sarah Palin's speech. This leads me to suspect that McC underwhelmed the crowd?
Whatever. Our campaign starts Monday, and the CBC was tearing into Harper last night about breaking his own election law. This could be fun.
But this morning I quickly flipped to CNN and ABC, and both networks were talking about....Sarah Palin's speech. This leads me to suspect that McC underwhelmed the crowd?
Whatever. Our campaign starts Monday, and the CBC was tearing into Harper last night about breaking his own election law. This could be fun.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Not Complaining
Well, I'm completing Work Day Two of my non-complaining campaign. It was not too difficult today, only because I worked in my office all day and hardly spoke to anybody. I don't think this is quite how it's supposed to work.
God Help America
Couple of things. I watched the Republicans on and off throughout the evening. But the Williams sisters were playing an absolutely thrilling quarter-final match at the US Open, so they were much, much more interesting to me than politics. I was rooting for Venus, but she lost. Oh well.
I still like Huckabee. I can’t help it. I like the guy. And it’s fair to say he is the one and only Repub that I like.
Romney is insane. Living in never, never land. Just bizarre. Giulani is so, so slimy, I felt like I needed a shower after listening to him. I didn’t listen or watch much. What a pig that guy is. All the scrubbing in the world won’t take the sliminess of Rudy away. As I watched Rudy, I kept thinking he’s been married three times and has had god knows how many mistresses. Who would have sex with this guy? Ick. But that’s just me.
As for Palin? Put the baby away. The whole dang family, plus Cindy McCain, was manhandling that poor baby. What’s a baby doing at a convention? That was nuts, and exploitative on a whole new dimension of exploitation. Shameless people. And those two teenagers? They really look like they are ready to be husband and wife. Leave them at home. It’s like that line from Juno: she’s already pregnant, what worse shenanigans could they get up to.
Meanwhile, back in Eastern Europe, Condi is giving $1 billion to Georgia, and Darth Cheney is growling to the Russians to back off. This is good? Vlad’s loading fresh tranquilizer darts, no doubt. Is this what will win it for McCain, a war with Russia before November? Cra-zee.
I still like Huckabee. I can’t help it. I like the guy. And it’s fair to say he is the one and only Repub that I like.
Romney is insane. Living in never, never land. Just bizarre. Giulani is so, so slimy, I felt like I needed a shower after listening to him. I didn’t listen or watch much. What a pig that guy is. All the scrubbing in the world won’t take the sliminess of Rudy away. As I watched Rudy, I kept thinking he’s been married three times and has had god knows how many mistresses. Who would have sex with this guy? Ick. But that’s just me.
As for Palin? Put the baby away. The whole dang family, plus Cindy McCain, was manhandling that poor baby. What’s a baby doing at a convention? That was nuts, and exploitative on a whole new dimension of exploitation. Shameless people. And those two teenagers? They really look like they are ready to be husband and wife. Leave them at home. It’s like that line from Juno: she’s already pregnant, what worse shenanigans could they get up to.
Meanwhile, back in Eastern Europe, Condi is giving $1 billion to Georgia, and Darth Cheney is growling to the Russians to back off. This is good? Vlad’s loading fresh tranquilizer darts, no doubt. Is this what will win it for McCain, a war with Russia before November? Cra-zee.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
3 More Dead
We lost 3 more soldiers in Afghanistan today.
Their ages:
23
21 and
21.
I can't remember if any of the major parties voted against the extension of this mission until 2011. Maybe the NDP did. Anyone remember? Whoever voted against it gets my vote. Even if it was the Bloc. There's no way we should've extended beyond the original date of 2009. This is sad and pointless.
Their ages:
23
21 and
21.
I can't remember if any of the major parties voted against the extension of this mission until 2011. Maybe the NDP did. Anyone remember? Whoever voted against it gets my vote. Even if it was the Bloc. There's no way we should've extended beyond the original date of 2009. This is sad and pointless.
Yikes
The NY Times has pictures of McAncient McCain meeting the Palin family at the airport, including the teen-age baby-daddy. Poor kid. He's just a dumb teen-ager, and now he's stuck posing with McCain. And this may just be the sweater he's wearing, but it looks like he's a 17-year-old with a beer gut.
This should be a lesson to all teens. If you don't want to get stuck having to smile for photo ops with creepy scary oldster McCain, wear a condom!
McCain is so old looking in these photos. I want to draw in a bubble that has him saying "thank you for visiting my crypt". Creepy.
What has happened to his black daughter? Has she attended any events at all? Everybody else's kids are all over the place, but McC's adopted daughter is persona non white-a grata.
This should be a lesson to all teens. If you don't want to get stuck having to smile for photo ops with creepy scary oldster McCain, wear a condom!
McCain is so old looking in these photos. I want to draw in a bubble that has him saying "thank you for visiting my crypt". Creepy.
What has happened to his black daughter? Has she attended any events at all? Everybody else's kids are all over the place, but McC's adopted daughter is persona non white-a grata.
More about nothing
In the paper on Saturday was a review of a book by a guy who sez we should all stop complaining in order to enjoy our lives more.
I can't argue with that, but it would be a tad difficult.
Anyway, I have decided to undertake this challenge. Excluding on this blog (which face it, if I stopped complaining here, I might as well log off forever), I am trying to reduce my complaining and criticism to zero.
We agreed at work that if we all did this here, the building would sit within a cone of silence.
But I am going to sincerely try this, because I do agree that negativeness breeds more negativeness, and I am already so effing negative that maybe I need to lighten up a bit.
Any bets on how long I can last? 24 hours? 48? Would you believe 2?
I can't argue with that, but it would be a tad difficult.
Anyway, I have decided to undertake this challenge. Excluding on this blog (which face it, if I stopped complaining here, I might as well log off forever), I am trying to reduce my complaining and criticism to zero.
We agreed at work that if we all did this here, the building would sit within a cone of silence.
But I am going to sincerely try this, because I do agree that negativeness breeds more negativeness, and I am already so effing negative that maybe I need to lighten up a bit.
Any bets on how long I can last? 24 hours? 48? Would you believe 2?
Nothing's New
Is it me, or has nothing interesting happened since Vlad tranquilized the tiger. I'm a bit upset that Vlad isn't getting more publicity for having shot the tiger. Of course, I'm sure Vlad is a lot more upset about this lack of publicity than I am. But how could he know he'd be up against Alaskan-crazy-woman aka bad-mom-from-Hell in the news cycle?
I'm just sitting around, waiting for Steve to call his little election so I can get all nerdy and excited about it. tra la la.
Has this ever happened to you? I was sitting in a restaurant on Saturday with two friends, and a woman walked up to our table and asked me if I was [insert any name here]. I don't remember who she thought I was, but I said no and she apologized and went back to her table. Ever since then, I'm DYING to know what this mystery person looked like, who allegedly looks so much like me as to lead to this inquiry. I've never met anybody who looks a lot like me. Maybe (most probably) if I saw her, I'd think she didn't look like me at all.
When I was a Con U, there was a man in my class who (I thought) didn't look a thing like me, but a classmate asked if we were brother and sister. Since I don't have a brother, I'd never imagined what a brother o' mine would look like. Maybe like that guy.
The only bro and sis I know who astound me in their resemblance are Mr. Anonymous and Sister Anonymous. They're like twins! But they're not!
Oh, Jerry Reed died. The obits talk about his acting career, but I only think of him as the guy who sang Amos Moses, which is a cool song.
I'm just sitting around, waiting for Steve to call his little election so I can get all nerdy and excited about it. tra la la.
Has this ever happened to you? I was sitting in a restaurant on Saturday with two friends, and a woman walked up to our table and asked me if I was [insert any name here]. I don't remember who she thought I was, but I said no and she apologized and went back to her table. Ever since then, I'm DYING to know what this mystery person looked like, who allegedly looks so much like me as to lead to this inquiry. I've never met anybody who looks a lot like me. Maybe (most probably) if I saw her, I'd think she didn't look like me at all.
When I was a Con U, there was a man in my class who (I thought) didn't look a thing like me, but a classmate asked if we were brother and sister. Since I don't have a brother, I'd never imagined what a brother o' mine would look like. Maybe like that guy.
The only bro and sis I know who astound me in their resemblance are Mr. Anonymous and Sister Anonymous. They're like twins! But they're not!
Oh, Jerry Reed died. The obits talk about his acting career, but I only think of him as the guy who sang Amos Moses, which is a cool song.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
In F**king Chip News
As promised, intrepid tester JAW Fan checks in:
This weekend, in my ongoing quest to discover new and exciting flavours of chips, I stumbled across Herr's Horesradish and Cheddar chips. "Herr's," I thought to myself. Who are these chip people?" Feeling a little apprehensive (somewhat akin to Carol Channing at a KKK convention), I purchased them out of a sense of intrigue...Let's face it, Ketchup chips don't really taste like ketchup, Sour Cream & Onion chips don't really taste like SC & O either, and the now defunct Roast Chicken chips never had anyone thinking they were dining on poultry...so what did these chips taste like? Well, they tasted like f * *king horseradish. Did the cheddar portion help to soothe things out? No! They just tasted like f * *king horseradish. My nostrils were burning the whole time. Now, I enjoy a dollop of horseradish in a dip or a pat in a sandwich, but this was like eating f * *king horesradish out of a jar with a spoon...and that's just f * *king crazy!!!! I don't know what the hell these Herr's people were thinking, but they better go back to the old drawing board. I'm certain two or three chips stuffed into a roast beef sandwich would be satisfyingly tasty, but that just ain't going to happen, as it will be a cold day in hell (or if my nose is blocked and the pharmacy is out of Dristan Nasal Spray) before I purchase these again. On the Wang-o-Meter, these dud spuds rate a sad and impotent one inch.
Editor's note: Are Herr's German, as in Mein Herr? If so, that would explain the sadism of this chip flavour. You know how those people are...
This weekend, in my ongoing quest to discover new and exciting flavours of chips, I stumbled across Herr's Horesradish and Cheddar chips. "Herr's," I thought to myself. Who are these chip people?" Feeling a little apprehensive (somewhat akin to Carol Channing at a KKK convention), I purchased them out of a sense of intrigue...Let's face it, Ketchup chips don't really taste like ketchup, Sour Cream & Onion chips don't really taste like SC & O either, and the now defunct Roast Chicken chips never had anyone thinking they were dining on poultry...so what did these chips taste like? Well, they tasted like f * *king horseradish. Did the cheddar portion help to soothe things out? No! They just tasted like f * *king horseradish. My nostrils were burning the whole time. Now, I enjoy a dollop of horseradish in a dip or a pat in a sandwich, but this was like eating f * *king horesradish out of a jar with a spoon...and that's just f * *king crazy!!!! I don't know what the hell these Herr's people were thinking, but they better go back to the old drawing board. I'm certain two or three chips stuffed into a roast beef sandwich would be satisfyingly tasty, but that just ain't going to happen, as it will be a cold day in hell (or if my nose is blocked and the pharmacy is out of Dristan Nasal Spray) before I purchase these again. On the Wang-o-Meter, these dud spuds rate a sad and impotent one inch.
Editor's note: Are Herr's German, as in Mein Herr? If so, that would explain the sadism of this chip flavour. You know how those people are...
In Family News
My cousin won $100,000 in the lottery. He's in New Brunswick and I haven't seen him in a million years, but this is still neat.
What has he done with the money, you may well ask? He put 90 thousand down on his mortgage and spent the rest on a new roof.
Really, sometimes, we are the most sensible* family on Earth.
*i.e. boring
What has he done with the money, you may well ask? He put 90 thousand down on his mortgage and spent the rest on a new roof.
Really, sometimes, we are the most sensible* family on Earth.
*i.e. boring
Computer-less
My home computer is dead for the moment. It appears to have been felled by an evil virus. So I'll have some blogging catching up to do today, including a chip review by JAW Fan.
In international news, I can't decide what's the better story: Palin's pregnant daughter or Putin shooting the tiger. I gotta give the win to Vlad. That is the most unbelievable slice of soviet-style propaganda I've ever seen. Kudos, Vlad!
stay tuned...
In international news, I can't decide what's the better story: Palin's pregnant daughter or Putin shooting the tiger. I gotta give the win to Vlad. That is the most unbelievable slice of soviet-style propaganda I've ever seen. Kudos, Vlad!
stay tuned...
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Sara Palin
I’m thinking I’m going to have a field day with the Republican Vice-Presidential nominee.
So, her kids are named:
Trig (like onometry?)
Track (and field? Or suit?)
Bristol (MyersSquibb)
Willow (whatever?) and
Piper (wait! That’s a near-normal name. Kid must’ve been adopted and arrived with a No-Name-Change-Allowed tag attached.)
And this woman will be in charge of the free world when McCain's rotted old carcass keels over? Putin’s wetting himself right now. I can hear his evil laughter from across the globe.
If McCain thinks he’s going to win over angry women who wanted Hillary in the race, he’s crazier than I thought. Women who support Hillary will not vote for a woman who is anti-choice. Insane. I’ll bet Pat Buchanan loves her, though. She had lots of babies. Yay for white American babies, even ones from Alaska!
Joe Biden must’ve already known this news last night, which would explain why he couldn’t stop grinning his massive toothy grin. Bring on the VP debate, he’s gonna slice, dice and julienne her hide and have it for breakfast. Chomp, chomp with his giant perfect teeth.
So, her kids are named:
Trig (like onometry?)
Track (and field? Or suit?)
Bristol (MyersSquibb)
Willow (whatever?) and
Piper (wait! That’s a near-normal name. Kid must’ve been adopted and arrived with a No-Name-Change-Allowed tag attached.)
And this woman will be in charge of the free world when McCain's rotted old carcass keels over? Putin’s wetting himself right now. I can hear his evil laughter from across the globe.
If McCain thinks he’s going to win over angry women who wanted Hillary in the race, he’s crazier than I thought. Women who support Hillary will not vote for a woman who is anti-choice. Insane. I’ll bet Pat Buchanan loves her, though. She had lots of babies. Yay for white American babies, even ones from Alaska!
Joe Biden must’ve already known this news last night, which would explain why he couldn’t stop grinning his massive toothy grin. Bring on the VP debate, he’s gonna slice, dice and julienne her hide and have it for breakfast. Chomp, chomp with his giant perfect teeth.
Barack's speech
The speech was pretty good. It didn’t have a lot of substance to it, I thought, just a lot of promises to do things that will never get done unless he has a big Dem majority in both Houses to push everything through. Can that happen? I dunno.
This morning I read some guy who described Obama as a "leftist" because he wants to tax the ultrarich. There is no such thing as a leftist in the United States. Silly.
But, man, what a beautiful speaker he is. He’s the best. After 8 years of suffering through the inarticulate babblings of a chimp who can’t string three words together coherently, don’t Americans want a President who won’t embarrass them on the world stage? Isn’t that reason enough to vote for Obama?
Best name for McCain I read today: Grampy McPlanecrasher. Heh heh.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Democrats
I've tuned in to watch Obama's speech.
But right now, Al Gore is on. I'm swooning. OH AL. (thud)
But right now, Al Gore is on. I'm swooning. OH AL. (thud)
Not full of baloney
Someone just sent me the complete list of recalled meats from Maple Leaf.
Is there anything on Earth that sounds less appealing than "Bologna Chunks".
And I don't even dislike bologna! When I was a kid, bologna with french fries and lots of ketchup was one of my favourite treats. I confess it has even been an occasional comfort food right up until recently. But I'll be laying off the bologna for a good long time. Comfort food to be replaced by comfort wine. You never hear about wine killing anybody, right? right?
Is there anything on Earth that sounds less appealing than "Bologna Chunks".
And I don't even dislike bologna! When I was a kid, bologna with french fries and lots of ketchup was one of my favourite treats. I confess it has even been an occasional comfort food right up until recently. But I'll be laying off the bologna for a good long time. Comfort food to be replaced by comfort wine. You never hear about wine killing anybody, right? right?
Back to work
It's another lovely day, and yet I am back at work. And busy! I need another mental health day. Fortunately I have 3 "sick days" I can still use between now and 31 December. And I fully intend to use them.
In car news. Last night, I drove my beloved old vehicle for the first time since the garage told me it is a Death Trap. It still drives perfectly. Now I'm wondering if I should go ahead and put the extra $1000 on it to keep it for a few more months. Decisions, decisions.
Speaking of driving. I went to the fancy IGA in LaSalle last night, and made the big mistake of going through Ville St. Pierre. Stupid effin' construction! Is there any street on the island that hasn't been dug up? I ended up in Lachine and had to get on the 20 to come back to LaSalle. In a Death Trap Car! Fortunately, IGA had some yummy curry chicken in stock which made it almost worth the detour. Is it crazy to drive 9 km just for curry chicken? I think not.
In car news. Last night, I drove my beloved old vehicle for the first time since the garage told me it is a Death Trap. It still drives perfectly. Now I'm wondering if I should go ahead and put the extra $1000 on it to keep it for a few more months. Decisions, decisions.
Speaking of driving. I went to the fancy IGA in LaSalle last night, and made the big mistake of going through Ville St. Pierre. Stupid effin' construction! Is there any street on the island that hasn't been dug up? I ended up in Lachine and had to get on the 20 to come back to LaSalle. In a Death Trap Car! Fortunately, IGA had some yummy curry chicken in stock which made it almost worth the detour. Is it crazy to drive 9 km just for curry chicken? I think not.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Mental Health Day
I'm at home today. It's partly because it's a beautiful day that I want to enjoy, partly for a mental health break and primarily because I'm reading someone's dissertation and I have to get it back to him this week, and I don't have the energy to give it its due consideration when I get home in the evening, so I've left it a bit late.
I'm alertly, speedily motoring along on it today and will have it back to him tomorrow. Is it wrong to take a paid day off in order to do other paid work? So be it. I'm sure I'm not alone in doing this. On the good side, the dissertation is on work-related stuff and I'm learning a lot about our esteemed employer while reading this. So, in a way, it's still work-related.
Must go sit outside and proofread in the sun whilst working on my tan...
I'm alertly, speedily motoring along on it today and will have it back to him tomorrow. Is it wrong to take a paid day off in order to do other paid work? So be it. I'm sure I'm not alone in doing this. On the good side, the dissertation is on work-related stuff and I'm learning a lot about our esteemed employer while reading this. So, in a way, it's still work-related.
Must go sit outside and proofread in the sun whilst working on my tan...
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
A bit of political news
Peter Potato Head is in Kandahar on a surprise visit. The "surprise", I think, is that he brought Jim Flaherty with him. Flaherty, no doubt, having been dragged onto an army transport plane screaming "but I'm only the freakin' Finance Minister. Why do I have to have my fast ass shot at in that hellhole?"
I smell an election a-comin'.
You know who Flaherty reminds me of. Only one person will get this (Ms. Mushrooms, I'm looking at you.) Flaherty is But Cort, the bond company stooge, in Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.
"Who's this?"
"Him? He's the bond company stooge."
I smell an election a-comin'.
You know who Flaherty reminds me of. Only one person will get this (Ms. Mushrooms, I'm looking at you.) Flaherty is But Cort, the bond company stooge, in Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.
"Who's this?"
"Him? He's the bond company stooge."
MEN! (Part 6553 in a series)
Men are crazy. Collectively and individually.
There's a guy at work. Let's use his real name. Mark. Mark is the bestest. I love Mark. He is smart, hilarious, a born story teller, never obnoxious, always helpful and pretty decent looking. (And married, of course. Don't even ask.)
Anyway, Mark's hair has been thinning ever since he's worked here. (Is there a connection? Perhaps?) And I've just heard that he has spent $3800 to get his first hair plug treatment.
Mark? I said. Our Mark? You've got to be kidding. I never would've imagined him to be vain.
In his typical fashion, he's not hiding it. He's going around the building telling everyone how thrilled he is and how great he feels.
What is wrong with the world, when nice, not crazy, not stuck-up guys like Mark feel the joy of hair plugs? I'm so discouraged about you guys. Embrace your outer Homer. No fake hair!
There's a guy at work. Let's use his real name. Mark. Mark is the bestest. I love Mark. He is smart, hilarious, a born story teller, never obnoxious, always helpful and pretty decent looking. (And married, of course. Don't even ask.)
Anyway, Mark's hair has been thinning ever since he's worked here. (Is there a connection? Perhaps?) And I've just heard that he has spent $3800 to get his first hair plug treatment.
Mark? I said. Our Mark? You've got to be kidding. I never would've imagined him to be vain.
In his typical fashion, he's not hiding it. He's going around the building telling everyone how thrilled he is and how great he feels.
What is wrong with the world, when nice, not crazy, not stuck-up guys like Mark feel the joy of hair plugs? I'm so discouraged about you guys. Embrace your outer Homer. No fake hair!
Sister Mary Agnes would not cut it
"being ugly is not a requirement for becoming a nun. "
I have been nudged toward the story of the priest in Italy who wants to run a beauty contest for nuns. I'm scanning the story right now, and it doesn't mention any age limit. It is hoped that at least 1000 nuns from around the world will enter the contest. It is held on-line.
Well, is there an age limit? If not, fine. If so, where are you going to find 1000 nuns under the age of, say, 30? Not in Canada, that's for sure.
This seems a bit of a dumb idea, but if the priest thinks it will interest more young people in the Church, well, then go ahead. No harm done.
I am reminded of my late uncle, who was a convert, having been born a Scots Presbyterian. Every time he saw a young nun, he would look sad, and say "what a waste". My aunt Therese, his wife, had thought of becoming a nun in her youth, but married him instead, at age 21. I always figured he imagined he bested God on that front. heh heh.
I remember a year ago when I saw the story about a calendar featuring young, handsome priests. Yes, I remember it well (despite my failing memory, I remember it very well.) I didn't really believe these guys were real priests, but what the heck. Anyone who has ever had a sexy priesty fantasy (and frankly who hasn't?) didn't care if the guys weren't real priests. But if they were.....well, sigh.
I tried to find a connection between the attractive nun story and the ugly-women-welcome in Queensland story, but I guess there isn't any. oh well.
I have been nudged toward the story of the priest in Italy who wants to run a beauty contest for nuns. I'm scanning the story right now, and it doesn't mention any age limit. It is hoped that at least 1000 nuns from around the world will enter the contest. It is held on-line.
Well, is there an age limit? If not, fine. If so, where are you going to find 1000 nuns under the age of, say, 30? Not in Canada, that's for sure.
This seems a bit of a dumb idea, but if the priest thinks it will interest more young people in the Church, well, then go ahead. No harm done.
I am reminded of my late uncle, who was a convert, having been born a Scots Presbyterian. Every time he saw a young nun, he would look sad, and say "what a waste". My aunt Therese, his wife, had thought of becoming a nun in her youth, but married him instead, at age 21. I always figured he imagined he bested God on that front. heh heh.
I remember a year ago when I saw the story about a calendar featuring young, handsome priests. Yes, I remember it well (despite my failing memory, I remember it very well.) I didn't really believe these guys were real priests, but what the heck. Anyone who has ever had a sexy priesty fantasy (and frankly who hasn't?) didn't care if the guys weren't real priests. But if they were.....well, sigh.
I tried to find a connection between the attractive nun story and the ugly-women-welcome in Queensland story, but I guess there isn't any. oh well.
Complain, complain
OK. I have only one complaint about my job today.
I'm too busy to blog !
This is nuts.
I'm too busy to blog !
This is nuts.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Mad Men
I know most people aren't watching this, but I just have to quote:
It's Mozart!
I almost wet my pants over that. These guys are such idiots.
Go Peggy! She's gonna outDraper Draper.
It's Mozart!
I almost wet my pants over that. These guys are such idiots.
Go Peggy! She's gonna outDraper Draper.
Grind, grind
Boy, oh boy. It's turning out to be a lot harder to get over the disappointment of the London failure than I was anticipating it to be. I thought I'd bounce right back, but I ain't bouncin'.
I submitted another application to our overlords in NYC last Thursday, but it isn't a serious one. It's more like a rebound application. Just something to keep on trying. To prove to myself that I may be down but I'm not completely whipped yet.
I need a vacation, or a winning lottery ticket, or somethin'. Why can't I be one of those lucky people for whom alcohol actually works as a ticket to oblivion.
I submitted another application to our overlords in NYC last Thursday, but it isn't a serious one. It's more like a rebound application. Just something to keep on trying. To prove to myself that I may be down but I'm not completely whipped yet.
I need a vacation, or a winning lottery ticket, or somethin'. Why can't I be one of those lucky people for whom alcohol actually works as a ticket to oblivion.
Where did it go? Where?
Septemer is next week. Back-to-school and all that jazz.
Where did the summer go?
I think I'll take a couple of days off this week. End-of-summer desperation days. There should be a provision for such things in any employment contract.
Where did the summer go?
I think I'll take a couple of days off this week. End-of-summer desperation days. There should be a provision for such things in any employment contract.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Putt, putt, pfffft
This certainly is turning into one helluva week.
My car, she be dead.
The mechanic says it will cost more to fix it than my baby is worth. He emphatically said: You cannot drive this car on the highway. So much for that.
I'm very sentimental about that car. I'm sad that its era is over.
I'm going to join a car sharing service. I don't need my own car (at least I think I don't) so I'm giving the car-share system a one-year trial. Another adventure.
I'm tired of adventures.
My car, she be dead.
The mechanic says it will cost more to fix it than my baby is worth. He emphatically said: You cannot drive this car on the highway. So much for that.
I'm very sentimental about that car. I'm sad that its era is over.
I'm going to join a car sharing service. I don't need my own car (at least I think I don't) so I'm giving the car-share system a one-year trial. Another adventure.
I'm tired of adventures.
This is nice
A silver medal for Emilie Heymans in diving. I always thought she was a choker who couldn't perform at the big event. But not today. Good for her!
This is How to Celebrate
Funny details from Jamaica on how Bolt's hometown is celebrating:
Bolt family friend and member of the local municipal council, Phillip Service, told Reuters news agency that Falmouth town square was blocked by convoys of cars celebrating. "Some persons have placed desks in the road and placed a vast amount of liquor on them for everyone to drink and be merry. (BBC)
Vast amount of liquor = drink and be merry. So, that's how it's done!
Bolt family friend and member of the local municipal council, Phillip Service, told Reuters news agency that Falmouth town square was blocked by convoys of cars celebrating. "Some persons have placed desks in the road and placed a vast amount of liquor on them for everyone to drink and be merry. (BBC)
Vast amount of liquor = drink and be merry. So, that's how it's done!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Whale on the (South) Beach
I'm facing the grim fact of how much damage I've done during the uncertainty of the past few weeks and all the chip-eating I permitted myself to indulge in. Chips. And fries. And chocolate chip cookies. And wine. And wine.
I am a whale.
I have to get back on that dreaded Beach diet ASAP. sigh.
(Last week, JAW Fan's bestest friend, Ignatius, said that compared to other women he had met on-line, I was positively svelte, and that I should not call myself fat at all, and apparently, I don't know the meaning of the word compared to some liars he has met. Gee. I miss that man!)
I am a whale.
I have to get back on that dreaded Beach diet ASAP. sigh.
(Last week, JAW Fan's bestest friend, Ignatius, said that compared to other women he had met on-line, I was positively svelte, and that I should not call myself fat at all, and apparently, I don't know the meaning of the word compared to some liars he has met. Gee. I miss that man!)
Word of the Day: Showboat
So Bolt wins again, by a lot. I was reading the story in the G & M, but the best line was the last one, which referred to his win in the 100 m last weekend:
"He bettered his own world record in that race by winning in 9.69 seconds — despite slowing down over the final 20 metres to showboat."
I love the idea of factoring in showboating time. 80 metres of running hard + 20 metres for showboating.
As my niece commented last weekend, why is it only the 100-metre guys who do all these gestures and moves. You don't see swimmers or divers bustin' moves before they compete. It's just odd.
Also, what is with white sprinters who try to look black. Our man from PEI is especially guilty of this. Hey, kid, you're from Spud Island not Bed-stuy. Just be white already! Think Anne of Green Gables.
"He bettered his own world record in that race by winning in 9.69 seconds — despite slowing down over the final 20 metres to showboat."
I love the idea of factoring in showboating time. 80 metres of running hard + 20 metres for showboating.
As my niece commented last weekend, why is it only the 100-metre guys who do all these gestures and moves. You don't see swimmers or divers bustin' moves before they compete. It's just odd.
Also, what is with white sprinters who try to look black. Our man from PEI is especially guilty of this. Hey, kid, you're from Spud Island not Bed-stuy. Just be white already! Think Anne of Green Gables.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
No London for Me
Finally. I heard from the London people, and I am out. The waiting is over.
"After careful consideration by the panel"...etc etc. Of course, they didn't tell me WHY I'm out.
In a day or two I'll probably feel really depressed and disappointed, but for now I'm just relieved.
I told the cats they have dodged a bullet. The move would've been traumatizing for them. They don't seem to understand the magnitude of this news. Dumb kitties.
"After careful consideration by the panel"...etc etc. Of course, they didn't tell me WHY I'm out.
In a day or two I'll probably feel really depressed and disappointed, but for now I'm just relieved.
I told the cats they have dodged a bullet. The move would've been traumatizing for them. They don't seem to understand the magnitude of this news. Dumb kitties.
Olympic Update
Just want to advise JAW Fan that they will be re-running the men's 3-m diving tonight. We should see plenty of coverage of it since our lil Alex won a silver.
I realize that diving from the 3-m board does not cause the same impact when they hit the water as the 10-m event, and therefore does not afford the same opportunity to view speedos sliding down, but there may still be something worth watching.
I realize that diving from the 3-m board does not cause the same impact when they hit the water as the 10-m event, and therefore does not afford the same opportunity to view speedos sliding down, but there may still be something worth watching.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Everybody's Best Friend
Here’s a true story just for JAW Fan’s amusement.
Last week on my unsuccessful date, Ignatius showed me his latest purchase, which was a copy of a book in a series about various classic albums called 33 1/3. Even with my failing memory, I recognized the series as being one that Mr. Anonymous and our Scholar Friend in Ottawa both had been interested in. So I told Ignatius that a couple of friends of mine had written submissions for this series.
His response: “You have very cool friends.”
Last week on my unsuccessful date, Ignatius showed me his latest purchase, which was a copy of a book in a series about various classic albums called 33 1/3. Even with my failing memory, I recognized the series as being one that Mr. Anonymous and our Scholar Friend in Ottawa both had been interested in. So I told Ignatius that a couple of friends of mine had written submissions for this series.
His response: “You have very cool friends.”
Russia
You know what I love about today's news: the fact that Russia keeps announcing that it is withdrawing from Georgia, but isn't actually doing it. If anything, the Russians are going deeper into the country.
How many days can they keep this up? Saying, yes, yes, we're withdrawing and not doing it. And having no intention of doing it. Yeah, world, we'll be out in a minute. Just a sec. We're almost done. We're just about gone.
Russia is that guy at work. The one who says, I'm on it! but never gets around to doing anything. I hate that guy.
How many days can they keep this up? Saying, yes, yes, we're withdrawing and not doing it. And having no intention of doing it. Yeah, world, we'll be out in a minute. Just a sec. We're almost done. We're just about gone.
Russia is that guy at work. The one who says, I'm on it! but never gets around to doing anything. I hate that guy.
Another Aussie Winner
You know, Australia may seem like a nice place, but I dunno if I'd ever want to live there. For one thing, it seems like their elected leaders are all morons. The latest:
"John Molony, the mayor of the Australian outback mining town of Mount Isa, is a straight-talking Aussie bloke, the kind of man who calls a spade a bloody shovel.
But after suggesting that "beauty disadvantaged" women should move to his remote Queensland town, where men outnumber females five to one, he may think twice about being so forthright in the future. Under attack from angry locals, he is facing calls to resign.
Molony sparked outrage when he highlighted the shortage of women in the remote town in north Queensland (population 25,000) in an interview in his local newspaper. "May I suggest if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa," he said. "(Guardian)
They are so desperate for women, they'll even accept ugly ones. That is so generous. I don't even know what to say about this guy except I hope they throw him out of office and then out of town.
"John Molony, the mayor of the Australian outback mining town of Mount Isa, is a straight-talking Aussie bloke, the kind of man who calls a spade a bloody shovel.
But after suggesting that "beauty disadvantaged" women should move to his remote Queensland town, where men outnumber females five to one, he may think twice about being so forthright in the future. Under attack from angry locals, he is facing calls to resign.
Molony sparked outrage when he highlighted the shortage of women in the remote town in north Queensland (population 25,000) in an interview in his local newspaper. "May I suggest if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa," he said. "(Guardian)
They are so desperate for women, they'll even accept ugly ones. That is so generous. I don't even know what to say about this guy except I hope they throw him out of office and then out of town.
Tra La La
Big news: The Banana Splits are coming back. Will it be as druggy as the original? Will I care? I dunno. But I'm glad they haven't been forgotten.
Can H.R. Puf'n'Stuf be far behind?
Can H.R. Puf'n'Stuf be far behind?
Fall on your ass or fall on your face
I admit it. I'm much more interested in the failures than the successes.
Like that Chinese hurdler. Are he and his whole family off to the work camp now?
Last night, there was the Brazilian gymnast who fell on his ass. He was so disappointed, he was crying. It was sad.
This morning, there was the Swedish hurdler who crashed into the first hurdle and went splat on the ground. Then she cried. Oh, everybody cries at the Olympics. It's all so sad.
Why does anybody run hurdles? It seems like the most dangerous sport. Not to mention the most humbling when you land on your face.
Like that Chinese hurdler. Are he and his whole family off to the work camp now?
Last night, there was the Brazilian gymnast who fell on his ass. He was so disappointed, he was crying. It was sad.
This morning, there was the Swedish hurdler who crashed into the first hurdle and went splat on the ground. Then she cried. Oh, everybody cries at the Olympics. It's all so sad.
Why does anybody run hurdles? It seems like the most dangerous sport. Not to mention the most humbling when you land on your face.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
More Olympics
The best competition yesterday was the women's marathon. I thought the ending was amazing.
I watched the marathon while lying on the couch, eating Doritos. And I thought: there's something really wrong with this picture.
Most over-rated Olympian: Paula Radcliffe.
I watched the marathon while lying on the couch, eating Doritos. And I thought: there's something really wrong with this picture.
Most over-rated Olympian: Paula Radcliffe.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Finally
Finally some medals for Canada. We can all come out of hiding now. Remove the paper bags from our heads. Glad that embarrassing first week is over.
Phelps' victory in the 100 butterfly looked like a cheat. I dunno how they did it, but it looked wrong.
Bolt's victory in the 100 m was probably the most incredible thing most of us have seen in sport in the past few decades and for the next few years, for sure. It was amazing. So easy.
Phelps' victory in the 100 butterfly looked like a cheat. I dunno how they did it, but it looked wrong.
Bolt's victory in the 100 m was probably the most incredible thing most of us have seen in sport in the past few decades and for the next few years, for sure. It was amazing. So easy.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Friday a.m.
I'm home, waiting for the man who cleans the furnace. Isn't it fun to think about winter already? wah.
My date was unexciting. What I have learned about on-line dating:
1) Meet the person quickly before you talk to him too much on-line.
then
2) Meet him again a second time, as the second time will be different from the first.
Oh well. He's a good guy, but he just wasn't interesting to me. Not his fault; not my fault.
I did have a tasty blue martini, though. yum.
My date was unexciting. What I have learned about on-line dating:
1) Meet the person quickly before you talk to him too much on-line.
then
2) Meet him again a second time, as the second time will be different from the first.
Oh well. He's a good guy, but he just wasn't interesting to me. Not his fault; not my fault.
I did have a tasty blue martini, though. yum.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Tummy Update
I have survived my gastroscopy. It went fast, fast, fast and was painless. If I had a scanner I could put pictures of my lovely stomach on the site for all to admire since it is, according to the doc, perfect! Aren't you glad I don't have a scanner.
But. There's always a but.
There's a red patch which he took a sample of to biopsy. As soon as I heard the word "biopsy" I started picking tunes for my funeral. I'm like that. I can't help it.
The doctor is certain it is nothing, and only took the biopsy because, well, I was there and why not check it to be sure. But he told me not to worry about it at all. So, I won't. Honestly. I believed him when he said it was nothing.
I'm still very dozey from the sedative. I'm going to bed now.
But. There's always a but.
There's a red patch which he took a sample of to biopsy. As soon as I heard the word "biopsy" I started picking tunes for my funeral. I'm like that. I can't help it.
The doctor is certain it is nothing, and only took the biopsy because, well, I was there and why not check it to be sure. But he told me not to worry about it at all. So, I won't. Honestly. I believed him when he said it was nothing.
I'm still very dozey from the sedative. I'm going to bed now.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
At long last
Finally! Finally, tomorrow after 7 months I will be having a follow-up scope to confirm that I am completely recovered from surgery. I guess if I wasn't, I'd be dead by now.
Dr. McDreamy should get together with the people in London who still haven't contacted me about the interview. They could laugh about how much fun it is to make me wait. Such fun.
Later tomorrow it's "date" night with Ignatius. Stay tuned to find out if the scope turns out to be more fun than the "date".
Dr. McDreamy should get together with the people in London who still haven't contacted me about the interview. They could laugh about how much fun it is to make me wait. Such fun.
Later tomorrow it's "date" night with Ignatius. Stay tuned to find out if the scope turns out to be more fun than the "date".
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Who are we kidding?
The entire Western media are up in arms because it has been revealed that Chinese officials replaced a 9-year-old girl with a beautiful voice but crooked teeth with a prettier lip-synching girl in the opening ceremonies.
I'm not going to defend the Chinese jerks on this at all.
But.
Everyone in Western media is obsessed with beauty and physical perfection. Does anyone really believe that the same thing wouldn't happen here? This would never happen in America, land of Child Beauty Pageants? Come on. What hypocrites.
The only difference is that here the child with crooked teeth wouldn't even have made it that far. Assuming there had been a nation-wide search for a performer, she would've been eliminated at the regional level.
I'm not going to defend the Chinese jerks on this at all.
But.
Everyone in Western media is obsessed with beauty and physical perfection. Does anyone really believe that the same thing wouldn't happen here? This would never happen in America, land of Child Beauty Pageants? Come on. What hypocrites.
The only difference is that here the child with crooked teeth wouldn't even have made it that far. Assuming there had been a nation-wide search for a performer, she would've been eliminated at the regional level.
Life is a Murakami Novel
I'm reproducing this whole story because I love the last paragraph:
TOKYO — Japanese police have arrested a 20-year-old man who attacked and robbed two people after they stared at his Winnie-the-Pooh costume.
Masayuki Ishikawa was hanging out on a Tokyo street corner after midnight last month while wearing the cuddly costume, accompanied by two friends dressed as a mouse and a panther, when he took offence at being stared at, police said.
“It's uncommon to see people dressed up like this, so the victims were watching them. Then the perpetrator came up and said ‘What are you staring at?'” a police spokesman said.
Mr. Ishikawa and his friends beat up the two victims and stole $160 from them, the spokesman said, adding the group had apparently donned the unusual garb because they had run out of clean clothes. (Reuters)
Doesn't this just happen all the time? You know, you wait too long to do laundry, and have to reach for the giant animal costume. I was a panda just last week.
Hey, what you lookin' at?
TOKYO — Japanese police have arrested a 20-year-old man who attacked and robbed two people after they stared at his Winnie-the-Pooh costume.
Masayuki Ishikawa was hanging out on a Tokyo street corner after midnight last month while wearing the cuddly costume, accompanied by two friends dressed as a mouse and a panther, when he took offence at being stared at, police said.
“It's uncommon to see people dressed up like this, so the victims were watching them. Then the perpetrator came up and said ‘What are you staring at?'” a police spokesman said.
Mr. Ishikawa and his friends beat up the two victims and stole $160 from them, the spokesman said, adding the group had apparently donned the unusual garb because they had run out of clean clothes. (Reuters)
Doesn't this just happen all the time? You know, you wait too long to do laundry, and have to reach for the giant animal costume. I was a panda just last week.
Hey, what you lookin' at?
Our World = Stupid
To be successful one should always do what one does best.
That is why Putin is waging war while W slaps the asses of the US beach volleyball team.
There's no place to run and hide, is there?
That is why Putin is waging war while W slaps the asses of the US beach volleyball team.
There's no place to run and hide, is there?
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Nice Weekend
I have a sunburn, the result of not one, but two, count 'em, two sunny weekend days. A minor miracle.
The only time it rained was about an hour ago. And where was I? Driving to Mr. & Mrs. Anonymi's house to feed their felines. Halfway there, it started to pour, and I do mean, pour. By the time I reached their house, I had to sit in the driveway for a spell because I knew I couldn't get out of the car, walk 5 paces to the front door, fiddle with the keys and enter, without getting drenched.
Timing is everything. It's always been my specialty.
The only time it rained was about an hour ago. And where was I? Driving to Mr. & Mrs. Anonymi's house to feed their felines. Halfway there, it started to pour, and I do mean, pour. By the time I reached their house, I had to sit in the driveway for a spell because I knew I couldn't get out of the car, walk 5 paces to the front door, fiddle with the keys and enter, without getting drenched.
Timing is everything. It's always been my specialty.
Saturday, August 09, 2008
John Edwards
Ok. Nobody knows what goes on in somebody's else marriage, right?
He's admitted to an affair, but that kid is not my son, he sez. Eventually he'll own up to the whole thing. Imagine if he was the Democratic candidate? gawd. I hope Barack doesn't have wee ones hiding in the wings.
Back to Edwards: His wife has two small kids to look after and she has INOPERABLE cancer. Maybe she said to him: our sex life is over, I have INOPERABLE cancer and give you permission to go out and get some luvin' elsewhere. You have my blessing. Maybe that's what happened.
Or maybe he's just a scumbag.
He's admitted to an affair, but that kid is not my son, he sez. Eventually he'll own up to the whole thing. Imagine if he was the Democratic candidate? gawd. I hope Barack doesn't have wee ones hiding in the wings.
Back to Edwards: His wife has two small kids to look after and she has INOPERABLE cancer. Maybe she said to him: our sex life is over, I have INOPERABLE cancer and give you permission to go out and get some luvin' elsewhere. You have my blessing. Maybe that's what happened.
Or maybe he's just a scumbag.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Olympic question
I'm not going to talk in any detail about the opening ceremonies because Good Lord! that was the most spectacular thing I've ever seen.
My only question is why is it that for the first 20 or so countries that entered the stadium the music playing was Scotland the Brave? Were bagpipes invented in China? Like apparently everything else on earth that's of any use.
Okay, Jordan is now entering the stadium and they've gone back to playing Scotland the Brave. What the hell?
My only question is why is it that for the first 20 or so countries that entered the stadium the music playing was Scotland the Brave? Were bagpipes invented in China? Like apparently everything else on earth that's of any use.
Okay, Jordan is now entering the stadium and they've gone back to playing Scotland the Brave. What the hell?
The Weather
If it doesn't stop raining soon, I'm going to cry.
Dear Powers-that-be,
Please send the rain to Australia. We don't need any more.
Your sincere soaking servant,
Nanuk of the damp, mouldy basement
Dear Powers-that-be,
Please send the rain to Australia. We don't need any more.
Your sincere soaking servant,
Nanuk of the damp, mouldy basement
Thursday, August 07, 2008
It's all chips, all the time
Stopped in at Provigo on the way home, looking for some new chips. I had discussed them with JAW Fan earlier in the day, and he had said "Look for the silver bag".
So I sauntered down the chip aisle, casually scanning the shelves. And then I saw them.
The silver bags.
I bought the ones called Buffalo Wings & Blue Cheese flavour.
They're hot. (As Paris might say.) I thought I wouldn't eat too many, but I am pig, and I kept eating. I ate too many. My lips are burning and swollen. This is not good. Drinking lemonade didn't take the sting away and that was probably the worst thing to be drinking, I suppose.
But does that mean I won't eat more of them tomorrow? Don't be silly. Of course I will.
So I sauntered down the chip aisle, casually scanning the shelves. And then I saw them.
The silver bags.
I bought the ones called Buffalo Wings & Blue Cheese flavour.
They're hot. (As Paris might say.) I thought I wouldn't eat too many, but I am pig, and I kept eating. I ate too many. My lips are burning and swollen. This is not good. Drinking lemonade didn't take the sting away and that was probably the worst thing to be drinking, I suppose.
But does that mean I won't eat more of them tomorrow? Don't be silly. Of course I will.
Question
How do you pronounce chipotle?
It's one of those words I've seen written many times, but have never discussed until today.
It's one of those words I've seen written many times, but have never discussed until today.
A (Detailed) Chip Review by our Correspondent JAW Fan
This past Saturday, after a moderate drinking binge, consisting of delicious white wine sangria (made with Triple Sec and a splash of rum) at a downtown Village bar, I made my way home...a slight gurgling in my stomach indicating I was in need of a quick snack fix. So, I reached into my pockets, thankful I had some loose change, and stopped into the local Couche Tard (the same one which had been in the news earlier this year, because some guy carrying a knife had gotten shot by the police) Without hesitation, I went to pick up a single size bag of delicious potato chips. Reaching for an Old-Fashioned BBQ, I headed for the cash, when my eyes were quickly drawn by a special display rack, offering this unsuspecting buyer a pleasant surprise: Lays' French Fries and Gravy chips. Obviously, the marketing people at this deliciously reputable company have been working overtime. Never one to shrug off a new taste experience, I immediately tossed my BBQ bag back into the stand...as if it were a zircon and I, Zsa Zsa Gabor. Eager and anxious to sample this fanciful flavour, I could not even wait out the two minute walk to my home. Like Charlie Sheen at a prostitute Blow-Out sale, I pounced on that salty snack sack. With anticipation busting my gut, I slipped a chip in between my lips. "Wowee, this actually tastes like gravy," I thought, a bounce now in my step. A couple more chips quickly penetrated my mouth hole. Mmmm!....But then something strangely mysterious happened, so unheard of, I felt a call to Fox Mulder was in order. For some incredibly odd reason, after the first few bites, the chips no longer had the same wondrous gravy taste...This is not to imply that the chip-eating experience was an unpleasant one, but it was if my taste buds were suddenly arrested by the flavour police. Was the fake gravy coating doing something to my tongue that no other chip had done before? Was it deliberately being de-sensitized? Had I stumbled into some Orwell-ian world where pleasure snacking was now prohibited? Or was some impish pixie playing a prank? If I were named Darren, certainly Endora could not be far away, laughing as she looked down upon me from atop the refrigerator. Five days later, I remain perplexed, confused, and bewildered. Needless to say, I will have to buy them again to see if this was a one-off, or whether something devilishly deceitful is happening in the snack industry. Until then, I would have to rate these chips as follows: A great and straight eight inches on the wang-o-meter that all too quickly shriveled into a flimsy and floppy four inches before delivering the goods.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
American Chip News
While in the USA, I picked up two bags of chips for nostalgia's sake. They are Wise. Or rather they were Wise since they didn't last too long in my house.
I got one bag of plain Wise because that is what we used to get on the shore in New Hampshire when I was a kid, so plain Wise are a must. I also picked up a bag of Wise Onion and Garlic flavoured chips. Those did not last long. They were really yummy.
I'm paying for all my foodie vacation sins by putting in extra hours at the gym this week. There's always a price to be paid for these indulgences.
In loosely related news, I'm watching Season One of Mad Men on the CTV web site since they stopped showing it on actual t.v. The other night, my girl Peggy had a date with a guy who had a delivery truck for Wise potato chips. Their date didn't work out, and I was angry at Peggy for messing up with this clearly top-notch man. He had a Wise run, for heaven's sake. What more do you want, Peggy? So he didn't like Manhattan. Who cares?! He had a Wise run!!
I wonder if our high school friend Mike still has his chip run? I should've stayed chummy with him.
I got one bag of plain Wise because that is what we used to get on the shore in New Hampshire when I was a kid, so plain Wise are a must. I also picked up a bag of Wise Onion and Garlic flavoured chips. Those did not last long. They were really yummy.
I'm paying for all my foodie vacation sins by putting in extra hours at the gym this week. There's always a price to be paid for these indulgences.
In loosely related news, I'm watching Season One of Mad Men on the CTV web site since they stopped showing it on actual t.v. The other night, my girl Peggy had a date with a guy who had a delivery truck for Wise potato chips. Their date didn't work out, and I was angry at Peggy for messing up with this clearly top-notch man. He had a Wise run, for heaven's sake. What more do you want, Peggy? So he didn't like Manhattan. Who cares?! He had a Wise run!!
I wonder if our high school friend Mike still has his chip run? I should've stayed chummy with him.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Yawn: I am the most learned and creative person on Earth
In a recent paper in The Cambridge Journal of Education, researchers from East Anglia University in England reviewed decades of research and theory on boredom, and concluded that it’s time that boredom “be recognized as a legitimate human emotion that can be central to learning and creativity.” (NY Times)
That explains why this blog is soooo witty and clever during the weekday hours of 8:30 to 4:30.
That explains why this blog is soooo witty and clever during the weekday hours of 8:30 to 4:30.
Yawn, Weep
I'm sure this feeling will change but for now I have no interest in the Olympics. And I'm a Sinophile (is that the word? I mean, I like everything Chinese.) Every time, winter or summer, it's the same story. I'm not interested, and then it starts, and then I'm watching all the time.
Summer's too short to spend 2 weeks in front of the stupid t.v.
This year I'm afraid I'm still too distraught over the demise of Jules et Bertrand (aka Frank and Gordon). I was looking forward to a whole new series of goofy Olympic-themed beaver commercials and now they are gone. Wah!
Summer's too short to spend 2 weeks in front of the stupid t.v.
This year I'm afraid I'm still too distraught over the demise of Jules et Bertrand (aka Frank and Gordon). I was looking forward to a whole new series of goofy Olympic-themed beaver commercials and now they are gone. Wah!
Monday, August 04, 2008
Political news from Down Under
TROY Buswell says he was not pushed but has stepped down from the WA Liberal leadership to help his party win the coming election. Mr Buswell today announced he was quitting the leadership following reports that internal Liberal Party polling showed it could not win government while he remained at the helm.
He has been the subject of increasing pressure to stand down since he admitted sniffing a female staffer's chair. (Herald Sun)
If a man can't sniff a woman's chair and still remain leader of a major political party, well then, what's the world coming to? What's next: a total ban of bra-strap snapping? No more leering at cleavage? I bet a man can't even roam the halls of Parliament in a drunken stupor while wearing his secretary's panties on his head anymore.
Those bloody feminists!
He has been the subject of increasing pressure to stand down since he admitted sniffing a female staffer's chair. (Herald Sun)
If a man can't sniff a woman's chair and still remain leader of a major political party, well then, what's the world coming to? What's next: a total ban of bra-strap snapping? No more leering at cleavage? I bet a man can't even roam the halls of Parliament in a drunken stupor while wearing his secretary's panties on his head anymore.
Those bloody feminists!
The Aroma of Jersey
I don’t know how anybody can enjoy going to Giants Stadium or the Meadowlands on a regular basis. I’ve never seen such confusing, ridiculous traffic (and I'm from Montreal!) There’s no way to get there except by car, and when you’ve got 50,000 people leaving at the same time, it is a nightmare.
Also, what's up with tailgate parties? For god's sake, people, pack up your empty beer bottles. What kind of hooligans pull away from a parking space and leave a dozen beer bottles for other cars to run over?
But the worst was during a stretch while crawling away from the parking lot, where we were overcome by a smell. An indescribable odour. The kind of stink that New Jersey is infamous for. A combination of industrial waste and swampy grassy damp. I cannot describe the stench. I’ve never smelt anything as foul.
So now I can say I’ve been to New Jersey.
This trip helped me better understand American Car Culture. NJ is a state where you literally cannot walk to anything. There are no sidewalks and everything is so spread out, you have to drive everywhere. You have no choice. And the traffic is endless. There are big stinking trucks on every road. I can’t imagine living there.
Except for Princeton. We stopped in Princeton because my bro-in-law had great pizza there 5 years ago, so we had to go back. The town is lovely, green and wealthy, and the pizza was very good. It was a real Italiano pizza place and my sister kept expecting Paulie to walk in at any moment and blow away the guys at the next table.
Sunday, August 03, 2008
I miss the good old days
Another decapitation. This time in Greece. A guy decapitated his girlfriend and her dog (!) I have no doubt whatsoever that our grizzly Manitoba murder will lead to a string of copycat decaps around the world.
One thing that bothers me on the comments sections of news web sites: People who ask, why didn’t anyone on the bus stop the stabbing? As if they themselves would’ve done something. How ridiculous. Nobody, and I mean nobody, not even a cop, is going to be able to do anything to stop a guy who is stabbing somebody 50 or 60 times. The poor kid never had a chance.
But indulge me while I go down memory lane to merrier times in the chronicles of decapitations. I must thank LLJ for reminding me of the fun we had with decap news stories a few years back on Rattansifan’s (she who is missing in action) web site.
LLJ or susieq can correct me if I get the details wrong, but I believe all the fun started with a story about two drunken American yahoos who were driving home from a drunk. The drunken yahoo passenger stuck his head out the window, and his aforementioned head was promptly taken off by a passing telephone pole. The drunken yahoo driver was so drunk he never noticed, and drove home. And if I am not confusing two stories, I believe the driver got home, out of the car and went to bed, leaving his headless buddy in the car.
Now that was the golden age of hilarious decapitation stories.
But now? The recent news? There’s no jokes in this. It’s horrible, scary, disturbing and will make everyone paranoid. I don’t even want to take the city bus tomorrow morning.
One thing that bothers me on the comments sections of news web sites: People who ask, why didn’t anyone on the bus stop the stabbing? As if they themselves would’ve done something. How ridiculous. Nobody, and I mean nobody, not even a cop, is going to be able to do anything to stop a guy who is stabbing somebody 50 or 60 times. The poor kid never had a chance.
But indulge me while I go down memory lane to merrier times in the chronicles of decapitations. I must thank LLJ for reminding me of the fun we had with decap news stories a few years back on Rattansifan’s (she who is missing in action) web site.
LLJ or susieq can correct me if I get the details wrong, but I believe all the fun started with a story about two drunken American yahoos who were driving home from a drunk. The drunken yahoo passenger stuck his head out the window, and his aforementioned head was promptly taken off by a passing telephone pole. The drunken yahoo driver was so drunk he never noticed, and drove home. And if I am not confusing two stories, I believe the driver got home, out of the car and went to bed, leaving his headless buddy in the car.
Now that was the golden age of hilarious decapitation stories.
But now? The recent news? There’s no jokes in this. It’s horrible, scary, disturbing and will make everyone paranoid. I don’t even want to take the city bus tomorrow morning.
A.C. 3 (wherein I realize that I grow old)
We were staying at the Tropicana, and on Thursday morning we went to one of its many restaurants to have breakfast.
As we were being served our scrambled eggs, we noted to the waitress that she seemed really busy. We were informed that this was because she's also the bartender.
At the Trop, the bar opens at 8:00 a.m. and, believe me, she had a few customers.
I must be getting old because when I was younger I would've found it cool to see a bar open at 8, and people getting their drinks. But I watched a couple of guys shuffle by with their scotches (it was around 10:30 a.m.) and it seemed sad to me. I had the same feeling when we walked through the lobby toward the restaurant and I looked at the half dozen white-haired ladies, cigarettes dangling from their lips, playing the slots first thing in the morning. This is fun?
As we were being served our scrambled eggs, we noted to the waitress that she seemed really busy. We were informed that this was because she's also the bartender.
At the Trop, the bar opens at 8:00 a.m. and, believe me, she had a few customers.
I must be getting old because when I was younger I would've found it cool to see a bar open at 8, and people getting their drinks. But I watched a couple of guys shuffle by with their scotches (it was around 10:30 a.m.) and it seemed sad to me. I had the same feeling when we walked through the lobby toward the restaurant and I looked at the half dozen white-haired ladies, cigarettes dangling from their lips, playing the slots first thing in the morning. This is fun?
A.C. 2
Atlantic City is a weird ass place.
You've got the beach and the ocean. mmmm. Nice. Then you've got the boardwalk. Lots of tourists, walking, jogging, cycling, having fun. And also along the boardwalk is the evidence of the rest of the Atlantic City, a substantial number of homeless and mentally ill people wandering about, throwing the "vacation experience" slightly off kilter.
Then you've got the resorts and their casinos. Bright lights, big noise, endless ding ding ding of the slot machines. Flashing, flashing, flashing lights. Like Vegas, it's Disneyland for adults.
Then there are the high-end shopping outlet stores. Tourists have endless amounts of money to spend in these stores. I watched a woman buy six $200 purses in one shot. It was surreal.
Then there's the rest of Atlantic City. Drab, rundown, dingy, recessiony, and scary, scary, scary. Nobody's carrying a $200 purse in the the rest of Atlantic City. You just want to drive fast through the town and get on the highway as quickly as possible.
You've got the beach and the ocean. mmmm. Nice. Then you've got the boardwalk. Lots of tourists, walking, jogging, cycling, having fun. And also along the boardwalk is the evidence of the rest of the Atlantic City, a substantial number of homeless and mentally ill people wandering about, throwing the "vacation experience" slightly off kilter.
Then you've got the resorts and their casinos. Bright lights, big noise, endless ding ding ding of the slot machines. Flashing, flashing, flashing lights. Like Vegas, it's Disneyland for adults.
Then there are the high-end shopping outlet stores. Tourists have endless amounts of money to spend in these stores. I watched a woman buy six $200 purses in one shot. It was surreal.
Then there's the rest of Atlantic City. Drab, rundown, dingy, recessiony, and scary, scary, scary. Nobody's carrying a $200 purse in the the rest of Atlantic City. You just want to drive fast through the town and get on the highway as quickly as possible.
Saturday, August 02, 2008
A.C.
I have a lot to say about Atlantic City, but I don't know where to start. Here's a story that sums the place up for me.
The 440-pound New York City man said he was playing poker in an Atlantic City casino for 17 hours Tuesday and didn't have time to clean up. He understands why grossed-out gamblers complained about his body odor, but said he didn't deserve stinky treatment from the casino that asked him to leave. He said he told casino officials: "There's no question I stink. I'm not denying it. I do have an odor. I've been playing for 17 hours." (ABC News)
17 straight hours in a casino? The whole aura of addiction surrounding gambling is weird, foreign and creepy to me. More later.
The 440-pound New York City man said he was playing poker in an Atlantic City casino for 17 hours Tuesday and didn't have time to clean up. He understands why grossed-out gamblers complained about his body odor, but said he didn't deserve stinky treatment from the casino that asked him to leave. He said he told casino officials: "There's no question I stink. I'm not denying it. I do have an odor. I've been playing for 17 hours." (ABC News)
17 straight hours in a casino? The whole aura of addiction surrounding gambling is weird, foreign and creepy to me. More later.
New Jersey Mecca
My sis and I agree. This was our 10th Bruce concert. We scaled the heights, we reached the pinnacle of Springsteen mountain, and there's no place to go but down from here on in.
I don't even know what to say about seeing Bruce in New Jersey. It's Bruce! At home! In his own backyard. It was unlike any other Springsteen concert I'd been to.
We were in the very last row at the top of Giants Stadium. That is so high up! The place was full. There were 50,000 people and it still felt like a house party. The cement stadium was shaking and the stadium lights were swaying just a bit. That takes a lot of dancing feet. It was humid and sweltering hot.
He opened with Ain't No Cure for the Summertime Blues, then straight into 10th Ave. Freeze Out, and he did not stop for 3 and a quarter hours. Probably the longest show of his I've ever seen. He ended with Rosalita. I'm sure by then some people were crying. It was a show for people like us; people who remember the old songs off the first two albums. Ancient history!
Bruce plucked a sign out of the audience. It was a request for Incident on 57th Street and it said "for your old bald fans". He liked that.
I don't even know what to say about seeing Bruce in New Jersey. It's Bruce! At home! In his own backyard. It was unlike any other Springsteen concert I'd been to.
We were in the very last row at the top of Giants Stadium. That is so high up! The place was full. There were 50,000 people and it still felt like a house party. The cement stadium was shaking and the stadium lights were swaying just a bit. That takes a lot of dancing feet. It was humid and sweltering hot.
He opened with Ain't No Cure for the Summertime Blues, then straight into 10th Ave. Freeze Out, and he did not stop for 3 and a quarter hours. Probably the longest show of his I've ever seen. He ended with Rosalita. I'm sure by then some people were crying. It was a show for people like us; people who remember the old songs off the first two albums. Ancient history!
Bruce plucked a sign out of the audience. It was a request for Incident on 57th Street and it said "for your old bald fans". He liked that.
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