A (Detailed) Chip Review by our Correspondent JAW Fan

This past Saturday, after a moderate drinking binge, consisting of delicious white wine sangria (made with Triple Sec and a splash of rum) at a downtown Village bar, I made my way home...a slight gurgling in my stomach indicating I was in need of a quick snack fix. So, I reached into my pockets, thankful I had some loose change, and stopped into the local Couche Tard (the same one which had been in the news earlier this year, because some guy carrying a knife had gotten shot by the police) Without hesitation, I went to pick up a single size bag of delicious potato chips. Reaching for an Old-Fashioned BBQ, I headed for the cash, when my eyes were quickly drawn by a special display rack, offering this unsuspecting buyer a pleasant surprise: Lays' French Fries and Gravy chips. Obviously, the marketing people at this deliciously reputable company have been working overtime. Never one to shrug off a new taste experience, I immediately tossed my BBQ bag back into the stand...as if it were a zircon and I, Zsa Zsa Gabor. Eager and anxious to sample this fanciful flavour, I could not even wait out the two minute walk to my home. Like Charlie Sheen at a prostitute Blow-Out sale, I pounced on that salty snack sack. With anticipation busting my gut, I slipped a chip in between my lips. "Wowee, this actually tastes like gravy," I thought, a bounce now in my step. A couple more chips quickly penetrated my mouth hole. Mmmm!....But then something strangely mysterious happened, so unheard of, I felt a call to Fox Mulder was in order. For some incredibly odd reason, after the first few bites, the chips no longer had the same wondrous gravy taste...This is not to imply that the chip-eating experience was an unpleasant one, but it was if my taste buds were suddenly arrested by the flavour police. Was the fake gravy coating doing something to my tongue that no other chip had done before? Was it deliberately being de-sensitized? Had I stumbled into some Orwell-ian world where pleasure snacking was now prohibited? Or was some impish pixie playing a prank? If I were named Darren, certainly Endora could not be far away, laughing as she looked down upon me from atop the refrigerator. Five days later, I remain perplexed, confused, and bewildered. Needless to say, I will have to buy them again to see if this was a one-off, or whether something devilishly deceitful is happening in the snack industry. Until then, I would have to rate these chips as follows: A great and straight eight inches on the wang-o-meter that all too quickly shriveled into a flimsy and floppy four inches before delivering the goods.