The Mexican

JAW Fan is back from Mexico. Take it away...

And so, once again, I have returned from Puerto Vallarta, land of bulging Speedos and wang-o-meter-worthy snacks. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Mexicans sure know how to make a potato chip. When the bag says "queso" (cheese), it's the quesoiest. When it's "chipotle", it's hoppin' with chipotlin' flavour...Bless you, my masked wrestler-lovin' amigos. Bless you!

This year I dove into a different pool and experimented a little more with the Doritos brand...Diabolo, Incognita (mystery flavour, as the bag had a question mark on it), and Pizza flavours were all sampled. And "me gusto" all of them. In order they tasted as follows: Spicy Cheese, Smokey Chipotle Barbecue, and Pizza Light (much better than that crappy fake Pizza flavour we are used to here.) The first two were covered in a beautifully incandescent spice mix (everything we expect from a Dorito) that had your nails changing colour. You never quite knew where the chip ended and your fingers began...mmmm!!! and double mmmm!!!...because once the bag was finished, you could still suck on your fingers for more flavour.

After last year's Ruffles Extra Picante debacle, I was naturally obligated to sample them again. Well, what a "sorpresa" (surpise, to us Gringos.) Either Mexican Chip laws have forced the Ruffles gang to lower the hot factor in their snacks...or my taste buds have grown accustomed to their taste...but what took four days to consume last year was now finished in less than four minutes. (Although on an aside note, the Spicy Octopus Tacos I ate at a seafood restaurant were another story...ay-yi-yi-yi-yi, mi pobre boca...no puedo creer que una cosa puede ser si picante!!!!!)

But this year's definite chip winner was Tostidos Salsa Verde...worthy of a three-sack purchase. Each bite was like French-kissing someone who had just recently consumed a delicious meal. Salty, Savoury, and Sexy. Am fortunate that I was not wearing a Speedo at the time...for these chart toppers would have resulted in mucho embarrassment, if you know what I mean.

On a whole, the Mexican Chip Experience rates a tremendously tumescent 10 inches of love on the ever-so-popular wang-o-meter. I anxiously look forward to putting these giant hot-crotch treats into my mouth again next year.
Adios.