In other shocking news

CNN has a poll today asking: Are the British snobs?

An astounding 89% of respondents say yes. Who knew?

I'm very concerned about what is going to happen to all those souvenir cups and saucers that had already been mass-produced in anticipation of the Royal Engagement. They must be flooding eBay by now.

I never saw this coming

NEW DELHI -- Angry crowds in several Indian cities burned effigies of Richard Gere on Monday.

In Chip News

I finally got my hands on some Lay's Spicy Curry chips this weekend.

Verdict: thumbs up.

On first tasting, I thought these might only be an occasional chip, but last night, while stuffing my face in the hope that this would make the snow go away (chip-eater's logic), I came to the conclusion that this was a tasty treat with staying power. As far as Indian flavour goes, the Lay's Spicy Curry is far superior to the Doritos Tandoori Sizzler.

I'll definitely buy these again.

It's Snowing Again

and the forecast says it's going to snow all night. 15 to 20 cm.

I'm so sick and tired of this.

Sometimes you just want to drink yourself into a stupor.

Nappy-Headed Ho No Mo'

I wish I could say something even slightly knowledgeable about Don Ho, but frankly I know nothing about him. He's some kind of icon, but does anyone really know anything about him other than he was from Hawaii and sang Tiny Bubbles? I don't.

I suppose I could drink some kind of fruity refreshing cocktail in his honour. I suppose.

But in celebrity news, I'm more concerned about the break-up of Prince William and his now-not-the-future-queen. The British tabloids must be going ape over this. She seemed smart and level-headed. Which is exactly why she wouldn't want that life, I guess. Good luck finding another reasonable one, Wills.

Wills doesn't look that interesting to me. If I had to choose between Wills and Harry, I'd go for Harry every time. And not just because he likes to dress up like a Nazi.

Heh Heh

I love seeing a Neo-con sweat, so I am totally enjoying the story of Paul Wolfowitz on the hot seat at the World Bank for giving his girlfriend a promotion and a big raise. (Insert your own joke here.)

Wolfowitz apologized. “He made the comments to a few hundred staff members, only to be greeted by booing, catcalls and cries for his resignation.” (NY Times)

Booing the Big Boss. I love it. I also like that the World Bank has internal message boards that employees can post on anonymously. I wonder if this will give ideas to other UN Agencies?

Snowy Friday the 13th

It’s going to be one of those Fridays. I just don’t feel like working.

My Friday the 13th started by sitting next to a middle-aged, Middle-Eastern man on the bus who was blasting Pink Floyd’s The Wall on his Ipod. Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!

Now I’m thinking about cocktails. The last time I had a really good cocktail was at my birthday. At Mesquite on Decarie. They have excellent cocktails. I had a couple of Long Island Ice Teas. Got a bit drunk. Some would say more than a bit, but really it was only a bit.

Mmmm. Cocktails.

Oh, Keith

I know I'm a coupla days late with this one, but I have to make a quick comment about Keith Richards' snorting his father's ashes.

Normally, I'm okay with just about anything Keith says or does 'cause he's Keith.

But this.

I can't believe old Bert would've been okay with Keith's snorting him up.

The New Monkey King

Jet Li and Jackie Chan are making a movie about The Monkey King. There are two things wrong with this:

1) The new project will feature an original script about a modern-day, kung fu-obsessed teenager who is transported to ancient China after discovering an artifact from the Monkey King in a pawn shop. (CBC)

I hate framing devices. Lose this idea and just tell us about the Monkey King.

2) There is only one Monkey King and that’s Stephen Chow. Not that I have ever been able to figure out what exactly was going on his Monkey King movie, and this despite repeated viewings.

I was completely, utterly, hopelessly lost in all of Part Two as to who everybody was and just what they were doing. Ah, memories.

Where’s Stephen Chow when we need him?

A Few Little Words Gone Astray

I saw this in an obituary today.

“The family will receive condolences Saturday and Sunday, April 14 and 15, 2007 from 2 to 7 p.m. at (Free valet parking)”.

Nothing kills the solemnity of an obit like some typographical screw-up.


Also, we got an e-mail message from one of the Stationery staff today. I quote:

Due to circumstances beyond my control Stationery will be open today from 14:00 - 14:45.

You know, he’s trying to keep the doors shut but those darn stationery supplies just demand to be distributed!

Playoff Time

I'm glad I didn't start watching the Vancouver game last night. 4 overtime periods. Jeesh. There wouldn't have been any point in going to bed at 3:30 a.m.

Ottawa won. I would say hurray but I just know they're going to go down to defeat, if not in the first round, then certainly in the second. I refuse to be optimistic about their chances. I've been burnt too many times.

Go ahead, Senators, prove me wrong.

In other "good" news

The forecast says 5 to 7 cm of snow today. BLEH!

2 more dead

Two more soldiers killed in A'stan, around the same time that the six from Sunday were arriving back in Canada. Although both of these guys were based in Petawawa, I believe they were both from New Brunswick. I think that's at least six just from N.B. this week. That's too much for such a small province to bear.

And, today, the US Defense Secretary is in Quebec City asking for Canada (and other NATO countries) to commit more troops. Poo, I say to that.

The Australians have committed 1,000 more? That's a lot. Why do I feel like the Canadians and the Aussies are the saps in this whole debacle. Maybe because our numbers are small and each death still means something. For the Americans, the numbers of deaths have become meaningless. That's even worse.

Bye Bye Belinda

Oh no. I'm so disappointed that Belinda's leaving politics. She's one of my favourite whipping girls. Who am I going to complain about with Belinda gone?

Wheee for Me; I Broke the Ice

I spoke to The Perfect Storm today.

He's nice. He laughed. He has teeth! I'd never seen them before. They aren't great. You know how the British never have particularly good teeth. Oh well.

But he does have a lovely accent.

Never again will I be stuck waiting for an elevator with him, feeling tense and not speaking. What a freaking relief.

Grindhouse Woes

I see that Grindhouse had a disappointing opening. I think I know why.

I was watching the commercial for it with my niece and nephew, ages 21 and 18, respectively, and it was clear that the “fun” that is supposed to be derived from the experience of watching a deliberately badly-made movie is lost on them. Completely foreign and alien to them. They’ve never gone to a smelly theatre (Hello, Cinema V) and watched movies from the 1970s where the film burns up or the sound is out of synch. Or seeing always the same print of a movie, so a certain jump in the film happens at the same place every single time. If you’ve never seen an original, what’s to “get” about a tribute?

And if the film-makers don’t attract the under-25 market, then they’ve got nothin’.

Who did Rodriguez and Tarantino make this movie for, other than themselves? People like me, in their age group. And how many 40-somethings who went to movies like that (like seeing The Road Warrior, oh I dunno, a dozen times…) are still interested in a movie experience like that? I still want to see it, but the kids think it looks dumb and uninteresting. I feel old.

Happy Anniversary to Me!

One year of Little Words already! How time flies when you’re having fun and wasting company time.

The year in review, in point form:

Azerbaijani pomegranate juice
Bob Dylan
Casino Royale
Diaper worn by a crazy astronaut
Evil Bush Administration
Figo
Gore
Hugo Chavez dolls
Italia, baby
Joe Strummer, still RIPing
Kitty Cats
Losers
Mushrooms!
Nanukistan
Oxford English Dictionary
Pope Benny 16
Quebecois
Rafe!
Snow shovelling
Temperamental tenors
Ulysses
Volvos
Ware
Xenophobia, thy name is Lou Dobbs
Yop
and last but not least
Zinedine Zidane

Ouch!

Chris Kelly actually calls George Bush a murderer this week. And still manages to write a very funny column. The young man is getting very feisty.

More Bad News

Well, that was a pretty shitty Easter. I'm not talking, of course, about the ham, and the turkey, the sweet potatoes and the chocolate bunnies, all of which were delicious.

I'm talking about 6 more Canadian soldiers killed in Afghanistan. The Spring Offensive is officially up and running. Five guys from CFB Gagetown in New Brunswick and a Reservist from Nova Scotia. The oldest was 31, the youngest 20. What a loss.

I stared long and hard at their pictures on the front page of the Toronto Star this morning. It's incredibly sad.

I can't believe our troops are committed to staying in A'stan until 2009. For what? This is making me ill.

On Saxondale

I have now seen 3 episodes of Saxondale. I have to confess I am woefully unfamiliar with Steve Coogan, never having seen Alan Partridge. At some point in the near future, I hope to remedy this.

As for Saxondale, the first episode was so-so, the second better and this week's was very funny. It's amazing I can say anything positive about a show that refers constantly to 70's rock bands, especially Jethro Tull.

This week Saxondale delivered a eulogy that quoted a lengthy part of Kashmir by "the great Led Zep". Painful, but funny.

I was wondering if the theme music was Jethro Tull, given that it contains some heavy 70s flute-playing, but a quick Internet search (google "Saxondale theme") revealed that it is not in fact Tull but Focus. Remember Hocus Pocus by Focus? Ah, man, those were the days. Not.

Anyway, I'm going to keep with Saxondale. Prog rock rules!

The War on Ware

A quiet Good Friday has given me the opportunity to catch up on the Michael Ware/John McCain insanity of the past week. A few things are clear.

1) McCain is an idiot.
2) Ware is way mouthy.

It was incredibly silly of McCain to claim that the Baghdad market was safe. And it was a bit much for Ware to say that McCain is living in "Neverland". But that’s Ware. Last year he said that Condi lived in a make-believe world, too.

I’m surprised it’s taken the right-wing blogs and media this long to mount their attack on him. They hate Ware so the only natural thing to do is accuse him of being an alcoholic. Sensible?

Other facts:
1) Ware is a war correspondent.
2) Ware is Australian;
so, of course, he drinks. I wouldn’t doubt that at all. And if he does? What of it? It’s such a cheap shot to attack someone’s character because you don’t like his reporting. Lame.

A journalist shouldn't become a story. Ware didn't ask for this.

Ware has a terrible nervous habit of laughing a bit at inappropriate times. A lot of people do this, but a guy in his position shouldn’t. It is too open to misinterpretation.

The right-wingers are so busy hating Ware that they’ve missed the point that, much to my dismay, Ware agrees with Bush. He thinks if the US pulled out now it would be a disaster. I don’t like to hear him say that, but I trust him enough to believe that he believes that is the truth. He’s there, I’m not.

I still trust and respect Ware.

McCain’s campaign is dead and not a moment too soon. He’ll never recover from this.

Heading-Banging Parents

A young Swedish couple is locked in a legal battle over their right to name their child Metallica.

Michael and Karolina Tomaro managed to get their 6-month-old child baptized as Metallica, but now the Swedish National Tax Board is putting up a fuss. While the Tomaros insist on their right to choose (asserting that the name "suits her" because "she's decisive and knows what she wants"), the Tax Board claims not only that the name is a direct reference to the rock band but that it contains the word "metal." According to the AP, the official handling the case "also called the name ugly." (Salon)

Any opinions on this?

I’m not a parent, but if I had had a son, I suspect I would’ve named him Joe after Strummer, but Joe is a real name. Metallica, however... If they had had twins, would they have called them AC and DC?

More Fun with Mr. P. Storm

My buddies and I decided to bait my nemesis with an anonymous Easter treat, quietly left on his desk by our spy in his department. They were certain it would get a rise out of him, and he would find it funny.

She reports that he left it on his desk all day yesterday, and today it is gone. He didn’t say one word about it. I suspect he decided to eat it, thus destroying the evidence.

He still hasn’t mentioned it. Now it is a question of who will crack first. I’m sure it won’t be him.

I suspect it was a mistake to take on an ex-cop.

Let's talk about the weather

ARGH! ARGH! $#&^$&#* !

I know it always snows at least once in April but that doesn't mean I have to take it like an adult. I want to stamp my feet and cry. Wah! Go away, you stupid snow.

No snow at Christmas, but plenty at Easter. This is not right.

And the slush! Don't get me started about the slush and the speeding, splashing cars! grrrrr.

Travels with Dead Rat Packers

A post on Greg’s blog reminded me that whenever I’ve travelled it always seems that some American celebrity has died.

I remember being in Amsterdam in May 1990, sick as a dog and unable to leave my hotel room, barely even able to leave my bed. All day I lay there near-comatose, with CNN on the t.v. And every hour on the hour I watched the lights dim in Vegas in tribute to the late, great Sammy Davis Jr. Sammy’s death and being deathly ill in Amsterdam are forever linked in my brain.

Then in 1998, I was in Brazil on a work-related trip. I was sitting on a shuttle bus waiting to go to the conference centre, sitting next to a Tunisian man who was very high in the organization and who would’ve never spoken to me back at HQ, but since we were away from home apparently I was worthy to converse with. He pointed out the news-stand by our bus. Every Brazilian and foreign newspaper had big photos of Frank Sinatra and long tributes to Ol’Blue Eyes. And the Tunisian man was so pissed off. "So many important things are happening in the world," he fumed, "And all they care about is a dead American celebrity." (Of course, I’m thinking "but it’s Frank! He's the Chairman of the Board!" but I nodded politely and agreed.)

Scots on Parade: A Primer

They run the gamut.

These are Fugly Scotsmen:

And these, too, are Fugly Scotsmen:

This is a fabulous Scotsman:




And this is the Ultimate Scotsman:

Crazy Old People

A pensioner aged 102 has been granted a 25-year mortgage despite the fact he would have to live until 127 to pay the loan back. (Times of London)

You see where this is leading? Now the 30-year-old wife of that 110-year-old Saudi is going to want him to take out a mortgage too. We're heading down the slippery slope of centenarian mortgage default by death. Can the world's economy sustain this trend?

Where's Alan Greenspan? Probably at Best Buy maxxing out his credit cards.

Somehow I can't picture myself at 100+ saying, hey I'm really old and I feel like owing money.

Here They Are

Wow. They were really horrible looking, weren't they? I don't care if they were teen idols, they give Scotsmen a bad name. Just like Franz Ferdinand. They are today's Rollers. Ugly Scotsmen. If Sean Connery were dead he would roll over in his grave at the likes of them.

Freeing the Brits

Mahmoud says he's going to "forgive" the British sailors and let them go today. He better.

I was just about to blog about how this situation had been dragging on for far too long, that it was dangerous and no good would come of it. And, shudder, if it went on much longer Bush might want to get involved to "help" Tony. And then all hell would break loose.

Mahmoud must've known he was on the verge of getting a severe talking-to from me and decided it was easier to play the statesman than to endure my wrath.

All in a day's work.

Chocolate Jesus: Visuals

Chocolate Jesus No. 1 is highly offensive, but No. 2 seems to be a-okay. It's obvious No. 1 isn't even the real JC, he doesn't have a beard!

On Jesus, of the Chocolate Variety

I suppose I should comment on the Chocolate Jesus sculpture controversy. My view is: it's dumb.

But it brings up an important point.

I'm one of those Westerners who's always griping about the fact that moderate Muslims or moderate Jews never seem to speak up for their religion whenever fanatics make them look bad. I'm constantly groaning about "why don't the regular non-nuts say something?".

Well, when it comes to Christians, the same holds true. Are ordinary, none-too-churchy Catholics going to stand up and say this Dobson nut and his cronies don't speak for them? Somebody should.

I'm sure Chocolate Jesus is deee-licious.

Scottish Storm

Had a chat with Mr. Perfect Storm’s admin assistant today. She’s trying to teach him to be nice. One of her first lessons was how to nod and acknowledge people in elevators. I told her these lessons of hers aren’t working. She’s frustrated, and has told him he has to “Stop being a robot”. Heh heh.

Then she “accused” me of not trying hard enough. Ha, said I.

Apparently when he yells at people “in that Scottish accent” secretaries hit the deck. What a charmer. She said he reminds of her of her crotchety old uncles (and he’s younger than she is). That says a lot.

I should stop now because I’m making him sound too desirable. He just sounds too good to be true. I just don’t understand why every woman in the building isn’t chasing him…

In IT news

My computer re-staging hit some kind of snag this afternoon. Some kind of "application error" screwed it up. Calvin, Mr. Suave from IT, assured me I would be his first task at 8:15 tomorrow morning. My PC would up and running by the time I arrived, he assured me.
Liar.

Baseball's Back

The Orioles and the Twins are on right now. I wish we still had a team. sniff.

I'm rooting for Boston this year, only because they have that cool new Japanese guy. The expensive one whose name escapes me. I'm for him.

Update:

I was just checking the Red Sox roster. They have an outfielder named Coco Crisp. How can I not like this team?

And I looked up the pitcher's name. It's Matsuzaka. I'll never remember that name without some kind of catchy reminder.

Falling into the Abyss

The IT people are "re-staging" our computers today. Whatever that means.

What it means, I suspect, is that I won't be able to blog from work for a while.

I may never be heard from between the hours of 8:30 and 4:30 again. We shall see.

One week to go

This year for the first time in a gazillion years I decided to give up something for Lent. My sister always nags me about making a Lenten sacrifice. Being a lazy heathen, I never do. But this year I decided to test myself. So I gave up colas. No Coke or Pepsi. And, frankly, it's killing me.

I can't wait until Easter.

A Diet Coke is my comfort drink around 2:30 or 3:00 in the afternoon at work. When I'm bored and time is dragging. It's a modest pick-me-up. But I thought I was drinking too many cokes. I suspected I was growing dependent on them, and apparently I was right about this. I miss my coke! waahhhh!

I'm so glad I never took up smoking. I have no will power.

But I will make it to next weekend without a coke. I'm too close to victory (moral victory!) to give up now.

News of the Day

Riyadh - A 110-year-old Saudi man has taken a second wife because his first wife, 85, no longer satisfies his needs. ..... his new spouse is only 30 years old. The man's 70-year-old son said the family is thrilled at the news of the latest nuptials. (The Gazette)

Of course the 70-year-old son is thrilled. He gets a 30-year-old stepmother.

I love the Saudis.

Shocking Fact of the Day

Barbara Feldon is 74 years old.

How can that be? 99 can't get old.

She's too cool.

Here come the knives

QUEBEC — Parti Québécois Leader André Boisclair's homosexuality, his lack of charisma and his inability to communicate were among the reasons given by caucus members and losing candidates yesterday for the party's humiliating defeat in Monday's election. (The Globe & Mail)

So what’s the deal? Is he too cool for the room, a dullard or inarticulate? All of the above. What about his cocaine use? Shouldn’t that be on the list too?

Everyone’s saying Gilles Duceppe is waiting to take over the reigns of the PQ. And I ask: why would he or anyone want to do that? Duceppe has the best job in Canada. He gets to sit in Ottawa, earning a good salary for criticizing the government while never having to actually be responsible for anything. Who would give this up to lead the PQ, which is famous for devouring its leaders and leaving them in a heap by the side of the road?

The only reason I could see for Duceppe leaving the Bloq is he knows they are going to do lousy in the next election and he doesn’t want to be seen as the head of a party in decline. Things have to be bad if it’s better to lead the decimated PQ than the sinking Bloq.

At the Movies

I saw a little British film called Cashback last night. Not recommended. I can't remember the last time I was so bored at a movie.

But more important...was the trailer for the upcoming Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Taratino double-feature Grindhouse. That looks like it's going to be stylized, interesting fun.

Storm Warning: I'm on the warpath now

I get to the elevator outside the cafeteria, and Mr. Perfect Storm comes swinging around the corner from the other direction. He looks incredibly stressed. We simultaneously hit the UP buttons on our respective sides of the banks of elevators. We are facing each other, then he turns his back! What’s that about? Rude shnook.

I’m desperately trying to remember the oh-so-witty elevator chat I’ve been practicing for the past week. But my mind is blank. (I realize that my idea of suggesting we fly off to Hong Kong together probably wouldn't get a big laugh...)

He is wearing brown wing tips today.

The waiting time is short, and then an elevator’s DOWN light flashes, and the doors open. He looks and gets in the DOWN elevator. What’s wrong with him? I’m convinced I’m being deliberately avoided.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m the most unassuming, non-threatening person imaginable. Why would someone deliberately not want to be alone in an elevator with me? I don’t smell! I wasn’t carrying a dangerous weapon. And I do keep my hands to myself. I'm not a groper! I swear!

I'm lousy at stalking.

Now I’m pissed off. This means war.

(What if his secretary told him I was asking about him? uh oh...)

What’s making news today?

The world’s tallest man got married. Shoot, there’s another eligible bachelor off the market.

A guy in Texas stole a 5-foot-tall statue of the Virgin Mary and painted it to look like a clown. I’m sure he had his reasons.

The price of oil went up yesterday because of a (false) rumour of an Iranian missile being shot at an American warship. The cynic in me says this rumour was started by some oil exec who wanted to test how profitable a little hot war would be for his company. Answer: very profitable indeed.

Marijuana is not kosher for Passover therefore Jews who observe the holiday's special dietary laws should take a break from smoking weed. What about hash brownies?

And in sports news, Chelsea have banned three of their fans after they were caught throwing celery during the team's FA Cup win at Tottenham Hotspur. Again, I’m sure they had their reasons. Mr. Anonymous will be pleased with this development, a new use for the dread celery, and it doesn’t involve eating it!

Any Ideas?

I seem to be in some type of post-election funk. I can't think of any subject to blog on.

I'm open to suggestions...

There's Close, and Then There's (Gulp!) Close

Call me the bellwether voter. In protest, I voted for Mario. And he's almost won. Almost.

In my riding, the Liberal still got 82% of the vote, but the Greens have come second, and the ADQ, MY PARTY, is third. This appears to be the only riding in the whole province that has voted along traditional lines.

I've never ever come close to having a winning vote before. I am a life-long NDP loser on the Federal side, and provincially, I always vote for a fringe party. Except this time around, my fringe party turned out to be not-so-much on the fringe. I'm still in shock.

My work colleague called me. She was confused by these results. I told her I voted ADQ (in protest, remember). She was stunned. "But I thought you were a leftist" she sputtered. I'm a Right Wing Socialist, I said. A rare bird indeed.

Photo of the Day

Mario and the Giant Baby.

Odd

There's a panhandler in front of the building today who bears an uncanny resemblence to Scooter Libby. How the mighty have fallen.

Actually, it is very rare to see a clean-shaved, short-haired, neat-looking panhandler. So maybe a lot of them would look like Scooter if they were better groomed.

Election Eve Jitters

I can't decide who to vote for!

Of course, it doesn't matter who I vote for because Bergman, the Liberal, will get about 80% of the vote. The Liberal always does in my riding.

So my vote is just an academic exercise. Do I go Green? Or do I swing to the centre-right and vote ADQ?

Given that my vote is meaningless I'm tempted to vote for the ADQ candidate only because she's the only woman on the ballot. And I did sign the petition to get her candidature on the ballot. This could be a slippery slope towards the right for me. Next thing you know I'll be voting for Harper...maybe not.

It will be interesting to see where the protest votes go, and how many of them there are. I think a lot of people are angry and disappointed with the Liberals, which means in my riding maybe the Lib will get only 70% of the vote instead of 80%. Not much of a protest, but what can you do?

For my American friends, when you talk about "centre-right" in Quebec, that's about the equivalent of...umm...Ted Kennedy in the US. And "centre" here is Dennis Kucinich down there. Your version of "right" is our fascism. And our "left" is your Castro. We living on a different part of the spectrum up here. We've been on the left for 40 years. I don't see that changing.

Spring Fever

People are insane around here.

It's plus 6 C today and sunny. That's about 45 F.

I went downtown. There were loads of people at Dairy Queen eating their ice cream outside, and at Java U drinking their coffee on the terrace. If you are wearing a tuque and gloves while drinking your coffee outside, well, guess what? That means IT'S STILL TOO COLD to be drinking your coffee outside.

Drink your coffee indoors where you can take your hat and gloves off. Dumb people.

Election Day Tomorrow

I have no idea who will win.

And everyone who knows me knows I am not a betting woman. (Me? Bet? Cash money? I could lose money! No way!)

A coalition government would be very interesting, but I don't want to live in interesting times. I'm dull, and I want my times to be politically dull, too.

Turns out I'm not in the NDG riding after all. They moved the boundaries. I'll now be voting in D'Arcy-McGee which is part of Cote St-Luc, and probably the riding with the highest Jewish population of the whole province. Where's my polling place? Why, at the Muslim School of Montreal, of course. Can you say irony?

Maple Syrup = Political Hot Potato

The dumb news story around here this week is about the Muslims at the Cabane a Sucre (Sugar Shack).

From the Montreal Mirror:
On Monday, a Montreal tabloid ran a front-page photo of a group of Muslims, dressed in parkas and tuques, kneeling at prayer on the linoleum floor of a cavernous sugar shack dining room. The headline: “Cabanes à sucre accomodantes.” The two-page spread focused on Sylvain Boily, aka country singer Danny Boy, who became enraged on March 11 when his party was interrupted to allow about 50 Muslims, of a group of around 260, take over the floor for prayer. The prayer lasted about 20 minutes, but Boily was so angry with his aunt being forced to stop playing her accordion that he stormed out. The story also made reference to some cabanes removing pork from their pea soup and beans. The Big Three leaders weren’t quoted in the story (although Boisclair has since said that anyone who runs a ham-free cabane is “going to have a real tough time in life”)...

I KNOW this sounds like a joke, but it did happen. Muslim troubles in the cabane a sucre is really a uniquely Quebecois problem. Prayers are more important than according-playing? I'd like to think not.

Generally people are just griping because there were only beans. They argue that there could've been both plain beans for the muslims and pork-n-beans for non-muslims who were there at the same time. Which I agree with. Why can't they just serve two pots of beans? I dunno.

Well, people are up in arms and apparently the cabane has received death threats because they were too accommodating to the Muslims.

All of this ignores the real problem which is that because of Global Warming winters are becoming too short and warm to produce ample supplies of maple syrup. They should invite Al Gore to the cabane a sucre. At least he'd eat everything on his plate. He'd probably eat everything on Tipper's plate too.

Medical Bulletin

Our friend and frequent commenter, JAW Fan, informs me that he fell in the shower this morning. Cracked his head open. Went to the ER and now has 3 stitches in his forehead.

He is back home and okay now.

Except that once you've fallen in the shower, you are Officially Old.

He's looking into getting one of those walk-in bath-tubs that Ed McMahon advertises. You laugh, but this may not be a bad idea.

It's Official

This IS the cutest thing in the whole wide world. I can't stop saying Awwww!

Are people following the story of Knut? The Berlin Zoo is keeping him alive, but some animal rights activists say he should've been left to die because his mother rejected him. In nature, he would've died, that's true. But he's in a zoo. Is it right to keep him alive out of response to his sheer cuteness? I can't imagine they will let him die now.

This story tugs at my already gooey heartstrings.

(Look at the size of those paws. He's going to grow up to be a killer, literally.)

Stroke, Stroke, Stroke

I joined a Dragon Boat team this week. Most of the members work for the same organization as I do, though I don’t know many of them, while a few are outsiders.

We had our first meeting, and it looks like it will be challenging and fun, but even more interesting, is the group dynamic.

Most of the team are returning members from last year. Only three of us are new. And it doesn’t take long to see who likes who, and who hates who, and who resents who, and who thinks who is lazy and doesn’t work hard enough.

In other words, a soap opera.

We need a minimum of 8 men to enter competition in “mixed-boat” category, but right now we only have 6. So our Captain is on a recruiting drive to find 2 or 3 virile manly men for our boat. Good luck I say to her.

We don’t start practices until May, but we are expected to be doing some strength training on our own over the next few weeks. I’m on it! 1,2,1,2,1,2. Rest, repeat.

Word Game Afternoon Break

I'm working too hard today. Time to thumb thru the OED.

I found:
Jitterbug joey
Horror hoser
and
Moneybags monkey business.

That Moneybags Mongoloid certainly is into some monkey business.

What are the odds that "moneybags" would turn up in the header of two different dictionaries? Odd.

Moneybags is a fun word. I picture those loot bags from cartoons with the big green $ on them.

He's so Presidential

Yesterday Congress, today the Congrès.

Unfortunately, a dental appointment falls right in the middle of my prime Gore-stalking time. O cruel Fate!

It's plus 12 C today. In March. That's Global Warming, baby.

Spry Octogenarians

I like this pic of Fidel with Garcia Marquez. It proves one thing:

Tacky track suits are life-prolonging. We should all purchase our wardrobes accordingly.

The Latest Craze

Mr. Anonymous accidentally created the next big thing in party games yesterday.

1. Take any dictionary.
2. Note how on any given page, the header contains the first and last words on that particular page.
3. Flip through the dictionary until you come across a cool combo of words.
4. Note how most of these combos could be used as names for professional wrestlers.

So far, using a Webster’s and an Oxford, we have come across the following:

Hateful Hawaiian Goose
Thrash Threshold
Crème de Menthe Cretin

And last but not least

Moneybags Mongoloid.

Try it, it’s fun!

Oh, I just found a Middle Eastern bad guy: Knuckleball Koran

Today in the OED

Thumbing through the Oxford trying to do some work, I came across this definition:

natatorium. n. N. Amer. a swimming pool.

Show me one North American who has ever said “I’m going for a dip in the natatorium”. This Oxford is for the birds.

Today in Creep News

Alberto Gonzales is one of the most loathsome members of the Bush administration. And that’s saying a lot given that bunch. But it looks like he’s on his way out.

Last week on The Daily Show, they had a funny line about how he had risen from “Mexican” to “Attorney General”. I suspect by about Friday he’ll be back to being “Mexican.”

But not to worry, I’m sure the Bushies will find an equally scummy candidate to take over the job.

And speaking of scum, the Conrad Black trial has started. I hate that snob and wasn’t going to bother following the story, but I see now that there is the potential for that creep of a wife of his to have a very public nervous breakdown. I can’t afford to miss that. I’ve been waiting years for some kind of humiliating meltdown for either one of them.

The defense can present all the evidence it has, but one look at that video showing old Conrad hauling cardboard boxes down to his car is all I need to see. I wonder when was the last time Lord Pig lifted anything with his own two hands. If he carried those boxes down to the car all by his lonesome self, you know they were loaded with spectacularly nasty secrets.

(OK. I must stop blogging. I guess it is clear that I have a new project sitting on my desk and I just can't face it. But I avoided it all morning, and it's time to buckle down....and yet there are endless topics that seem to call out for blogging today. arrrrgh.)

Enviro-Hunk Alert

During his talk at the Museum of Natural History on Saturday, David Suzuki mentioned he would be in Montreal this week with Big Al Gore.

My ears perked up.

Turns out the event is “youth-oriented” (damn kids) and is already sold out. It’s being held on Thursday afternoon at the Palais des Congres which is a mere two blocks from the very office where I am now sitting and not working at my job.

I’m sure I'll feel the aura of his Al-ness just the same.

I forgot

In my Washington review, I foolishly forgot to mention a high point: I had 2 bags of Cool Ranch Doritos while I was there, and I brought a third bag home in my suitcase!!

Deee-lish!

God bless America.

When the Customs agent asked if I had anything to declare, I said: "Only my sheer delight at bringing home a bag of succulent, savoury Cool Ranch treats."

(That's a lie. I said: "nothing".)

Is nothing sacred?

A lorry containing Cadbury chocolate eggs worth an estimated £70,000 has been stolen in Staffordshire. (BBC)

What’s that worth? $150,000 in chocolate eggs. Oh, the humanity! The police will be searching for thieves complaining of tummy ache.

Spies are cool

The International Spy Museum is a must-see for World War 2 and Cold War fans like me. I didn’t even know this place existed until I saw a reference to it in the Air Canada in-flight mag on the plane. Intrigued, I made it my first stop on Friday morning.

I can’t really list everything there I found cool, but here’s a few:

A German enigma machine from WW2, with a detailed description of how its encoding worked.
An umbrella gun, like the one that killed a Bulgarian at a bus stop in London in 1978.
Lipstick tubes that fire a single shot. I think every femme fatale needs at least one of those.
Fake doggie doo with a transmitter in it, for placing on the street near an embassy to pick up radio messages.

I love all this kind of stuff.

Busy, busy, busy

In 3 days in Washington, D.C., I saw:

The National Cathedral
The Spy Museum (cool! I love spies!)
The Hirshorn (modern art) Museum
The Freer Gallery (Asian art)
The Museum of Natural History (dinosaurs!)
The National Gallery (Impressionists!)
The Phillips Collection
A lecture by David Suzuki at the Smithsonian
A play at the National Theater

And I walked around my old neighbourhood without stalking Ian MacKaye.

The list of things I didn’t get done is even longer. More on all this later. I’m really tired today, and I have quite a bit of stupid work-related work to catch up on.

I'm back

There are 15 cm of snow in the drive that I now have to shovel.

Very busy weekend. Lotsa fun.

Weather in D.C. was absolute shit.

More later.

Happy St. Paddy's Day

and Happy Ides of March.

Let's pause to remember the good old days, when everyone was young and thin. And most of us had all our teeth.

Spring Break

I'll be taking a little blogging break over this weekend.

You know, if you want something done right, sometimes you have to do it yourself. So I'm heading down to Washington, D.C., to give that George Bush a piece of my mind. When I'm done with him, the war should be over. Wish me luck.

Actually, I'll be spending most of my time in the Smithsonian and visiting other touristy things. And if I have time, I'll stalk Ian MacKaye for old times' sake.

Coochie Coochie Coo

Weird fact of the day:

Rats emit an ultrasonic chirp (inaudible to humans without special equipment) when they’re tickled, and they like the sensation so much they keep coming back for more tickling. (New York Times)

So be a sport, and go tickle a rat.

On searching the Web

You always have to be careful what words you put in your search.

Last year, I was trying to remember the name of the really good Thai restaurant that is on Guy Street just below St. Catherine.

So in my search were included the words "Thai" and "Guy".

Result: Raunch!

Not a good search to conduct at the office.

The restaurant is called Phayathai. I kept their card, so I don't need to search 'em anymore. Highly recommended. mmmmmm.

Jean Charest is a Big Wiener

This item is posted for testing purposes only. For an explanation, see the Comments box of the post directly beneath this one.

Thanks for visiting!

(Hmmm. I wonder if I wrote "has" a Big Wiener instead of "is" if I would get more visitors? Oh, the Internet is such a silly place.)

It's a funny old world

Yesterday set a record for the number of people visiting this blog.

Thanks to the Israeli Ambassador. Apparently if there is an item on your blog that uses the word "bondage" loads of people will rush to your site.

That's kinda sad, isn't it?

Election Update

This campaign has more than its fair share of bright sparks running in it. Every party has at least one nutball in its ranks. At least Mario tries to purge his.

“On Saturday, Mr. Dumont fired Christian Raymond, the ADQ candidate in the riding of Prévost, after Mr. Raymond was quoted last week saying Quebec needs to "promote the birth rate, otherwise the ethnics will invade us."

Mr. Raymond was also quoted as saying: "People come here and we're supposed to let them wear turbans and kiss the asphalt [an apparent reference to praying in the direction of Mecca]. . . . If they don't want to fit in, let them go back home." (The Globe & Mail)

Kiss the asphalt? Good lord. I only do that during my “Spring has Sprung/The snow has melted” equinoctial ritual. Um. Everybody does that, right? Eh?

By the way, poor Mario Dumont. I wonder how painful it feels to be sporting a brand spanking new arsehole, since Chantal Hebert tore him a new one on Tout Le Monde en Parle last night. Ouch. How tough was she? I was staring at the t.v. with my mouth open. When I see her on The National she always seems pretty nice, but that must be her safe English t.v. persona; on French t.v. she’s a whole different gal. You go, grrrrl.

Storm Watch 2007

Whilst out running my errand, I saw The Perfect Storm strolling down University Street.

He wasn't wearing his wing tips. Just plain black Oxfords.

It diminished him.


For anyone unfamiliar with them, here is a photo of a pair of wing tips.

Anyone who says "It's just a shoe" will have me to deal with.

Sure, it's just a shoe. And the Mona Lisa is just a painting.

Daylight Savings Time, at the Office

Turned on my PC this morning, and it was correct. DST had arrived.

About half an hour later, a colleague popped into my office and said "the time on my PC was right and now it's wrong". I looked at mine, and yep, it was wrong, too.

About an hour later, I noticed it was correct again.

Went out to do an errand, came back half an hour later: it's back to being wrong.

Then we get an e-mail from IT. If your PC is still wrong, shut it down and restart it, it will be fixed. So I did that.

It's still wrong.

Gentlemen, Start your Caddies

Has anybody seen that Cadillac commercial that uses Start! by The Jam?

This is weirder than Magnetic Fields selling dog food.

File this under “Maybe it’s just me” but what’s the connection? Am I being a punk snob for assuming that The Jam were not really that well-known in North America, even at their height of heights? Even if I am, how many potential Cadillac buyers are old Jam fans who are going to be turned on to the idea of owning a Cadillac by that song?

And how much money did Paul Weller get for this?

If I’m the kind of person who is going to notice the song and remember it nostalgically, am I supposed to be Cadillac’s target market? That’s a laugh.

At the risk of stating the obvious, if you want to use an old punk anthem to sell your Brand New Cadillac, well then balls to you big daddy. I ain’t a-never coming back.

Getting in a Huff

Finally, finally, we get to see Huff. At long last it has been picked up here.

As a Hank Azaria fan, I’ve wanted to see this show since I first read about it, but it hasn’t been available. I missed the first episode last week, but caught it last night. I always tell myself I don’t really have another hour per week to waste watching t.v., but I liked it and I think I’ll stick with it.

Why? Oliver Platt. Because why do we watch t.v. if not to enjoy the antics of a coke-snorting, booze-soaked, hooker-hiring mendacious fattie of a lawyer. That’s entertainment!

One quibble. I realize this show is about a psychiatrist but is it possible to have too many crazy characters on the same show? It’s a given that the patients have to be crazy, but does the shrink have to be crazy? And does the shrink’s mother have to be crazy? If crazy is too strong a word, then let’s say highly neurotic. And the shrink’s wife is passive-aggressive. And the lawyer, well, if he isn’t crazy then he certainly has a few self-control issues. Is this show going to make me beg for a normal person? I used to think that about Six Feet Under. Must be the time slot. Sunday at 10:00 is reserved for people with big problems.

News Story of the Day

I hope somebody caught this on their cell phone. YouTube awaits!

"Israel is replacing its ambassador in El Salvador after the envoy was found outside the embassy, drunk, wearing only bondage gear, officials said.

San Salvador was Tzuriel Refael's first post as ambassador, after promotion in 2006 from a foreign ministry position. The official said that, although diplomats may have caused embarrassment in the past, this was "the last straw".

"During the 60 years of the State of Israel, some of our diplomats have caused us embarrassment, as happens in every country," the official said. "But an ambassador behaving indecently on a public thoroughfare, that has never happened before."

Haaretz website reports that police found Mr Refael in the Israeli embassy compound two weeks ago. He was inebriated, his hands were tied and he was gagged with a rubber ball in his mouth. (BBC News)

I want to see them blame this on Hamas.

I kinda wish this would happen to a Canadian Ambassador somewhere. It would spice up our boring image.

Nothing happened

Daylight Savings Time arrived.

The clock on my computer set itself.

I reset all the other clocks around the house.

The world didn't end.

Hey, I performed a political act

Last night a guy knocked at the door with a petition. He was from the ADQ and said they were trying to get their candidate on the ballot and needed 100 signatures. I was very surprised that the ADQ didn't have a candidate running in my district. As the 3rd largest party, I thought they were now big enough to have candidates in every riding but they don't.

I thought it was wrong that we don't have an ADQ candidate to vote for, not that I would. But I think every party should be represented. So I signed the petition. I have no intention of voting ADQ, who are centre-right, but darn it! we should have the option to vote for them, like ' em or not.

I also felt sorry for the guy who was going door to door in minus 20 temps. I figured he believed in his cause, and good for him.

But I still won't vote ADQ.

Pope Benny 16 is dead to me

Why? He dissed Dylan. He tried to stop Bob from appearing at a concert for the old Pope, but JP2 overruled him. Well done, JP2.

I wonder if Bob will comment publicly on this? Probably not.

"Pope Benedict has said that rock music is the work of Satan and last year he cancelled the fundraising Christmas pop concert at the Vatican, which under John Paul II had run for 13 years." (Times of London)

I have to agree that a lot of 80s rock* IS the work of Satan, but still. Not all of it!

*Jefferson Starship, Huey Lewis, ...I could go on.

This Better Be the Last Day

of sub-zero temperatures.

You wouldn't think we can get use to minus 21 C (minus 2 F ?), but we do. That's the temperature this a.m. and since there's no wind it doesn't feel that bad. That's how hardened we've become. But I'm still whining.

I can't stand this anymore. "They" have been promising us mild temps for the weekend for days now, and yet I fear they lie. Spring will never come. sniff.

Every Campaign Needs a Nut

Things are heating up in the campaign

I love scandals. I love outrageous candidates. Boisclair is wincing because one of his candidates is (apparently) a Rwandan-genocide denier. Who knew that Rwandan-genocide deniers even existed? I had no idea. I thought this was something everyone agreed on. Well, Rwandan-genocide deniers do exist, and the PQ has one running in St-Henri. Fun will ensue.

I go through St-Henri riding just about every morning on the bus, and I noticed the PQ candidate’s signs and the fact that he has an English name. I wondered about that, but lots of Francophones have English or Irish names because of centuries of marriage between the “pure laines” and less than pure. I know. I’m one myself.

Anyway, it turns out Mr. Rwandan-Genocide Denier isn’t a Francophone with an English name, he’s an Anglophone.

I’m suspicious of any Anglophone who joins the PQ, and especially those who run for public office. You know how, on Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry is always accused of being a self-hating Jew? That's how I think of Anglos in the PQ.

Daylight Savings Idiocy

We have now received 4 quivering e-mails from our IT department warning us about the impending doom of early Daylight Savings Time. Enough already. Clearly these geeks are nostalgic for the glory days of the non-event of Y2K. They haven't felt so important in years.

How many times do they have to warn us to check and recheck our electronic calendars because we might show up at a meeting one hour too late or one hour too early. This is nuts.

I fully expect that between now and the end of the work week, IT staff will be dispersed around the building for the sole purpose of sneaking up behind every individual employee and screaming BOO!

My Fetish

There’s a man at work who I have nicknamed “The Perfect Storm” because, for me, he has the Big Three elements that make a man irresistible.

1. Scottish
2. Military background
3. Painfully shy.

Now all of these could be analysed individually, which I might just do now.

Item No. 2 is particularly disturbing because as an anti-war leftist pacifist, why do I find the whole military thing such a turn-on? Troubling indeed. I don’t think there’s any explaining these things. We just like what we like, as the old lady said when she kissed the cow (one of my late father’s favourite expressions).

No. 3 is also odd, I think, because normally introverts are attracted to extroverts, or so the experts tell us. I can see the problem when an introvert is attracted to another introvert. Because, basically, nothing happens because nobody’s talking, and nobody’s making a move. That’s the biggest problem with being an introvert, as any introvert might tell you if they dared speak to you, which they won’t.

No. 1 needs no explanation, right?

So I was just in a crowded elevator with The Perfect Storm, and in my usual way, I stared down at the floor. And what did I notice? His shoes.

My fetish.

I swear my knees buckled.

Perfectly polished black wing-tips. Yep. I have a severe wing-tip fetish, and his were exquisite. I stared. I gulped.

Anyone who knows me knows I hate feet. I hate exposed feet. I don’t want to see a stranger’s feet. And I have no interest in shoes. Nothing bores me more than people who talk about shoes. Except wing-tips. God, I love them. They are so classy, masculine, severe (!) and appealing. And on a certain type of man, …well. Hubba, hubba!

Is that weird? Yes, of course it is. But it wouldn’t be a fetish if it was normal.

All Hail, Jabba the Hutt

"(AP) -- A man who once weighed well over half a ton left his house for the first time in five years Wednesday -- wheeled outside on his bed to greet neighbors and see a mariachi band."

(Because, you know, when you've been stuck in the house for 5 years, the first thing you want to do is hear a mariachi band. What? They couldn't hire a band to go inside his house and play him a tune? Not one lousy, stinking mariachi band in all of Mexico would go into the big guy's house and play him a little ditty. Shame on those selfish mariachis!)

"The sky is beautiful and blue, and what I want is to enjoy the sun," said Manuel Uribe, who had once been certified by doctors as weighing 1,235 pounds. Though still unable to leave his bed, Uribe has lost 395 pounds since he began a high-protein diet a year ago. He now weighs about 840 pounds.

To celebrate the milestone, six people pushed Uribe's wheel-equipped iron bed out to the street as a mariachi band played and a crowd gathered. Then, a forklift lifted him onto a truck and the 41-year-old rode through the streets of San Nicolas de los Garza.

(At a mere 840, he still needed a forklift? The morbidly obese of today don't have any get-up-and-go. That's what's wrong with young people today.)

(And what exactly is being celebrated here? Yay! A fat guy left his house! Yay! Some people will use any reason for a party. Prediction: within a week, someone will see the image of the Virgin Mary in his folds, and people will come from all around to gaze in wonderment.)

Ah, the Slow Leaching of Lead

"The city of Montreal is warning pregnant women and young children* to abstain from drinking tap water in certain areas because of trace levels of lead.

Some older homes in the Plateau Mont-Royal, Notre-Dame-de-Grace and Villeray districts are still serviced by lead pipes that are slowly leaching the element into potable water, according to tests conducted by the city last summer on 1,500 houses. The tests found the majority of homes within the allowable limit.

At the end of February, it began sending letters to about 400,000 households warning residents the pipes may be made of lead, and recommended children and pregnant women drink filtered water for the time being." (CBC)

Guess who was the lucky recipient of one of those 400,000 letters. Yours truly. Quelle thrill.

Now I have an excuse. Every time I act irrationally, I don't have to rely on the old PMS meme, I can now declare that lead in the water has made me looney. And what's good about this excuse is that I can use it every day of the year.

But seriously, this is a pain because I actually don't mind the taste of the tap water in my neighbourhood. I think it's acceptable. Maybe I just love the rich flavour of lead. Time to dig out my never-used water filter.

*And what about kitty cats? How much lead does it take to make a 15-pound cat go bonkers? Probably not much.

Garcia Marquez is 80

Gabriel Garcia Marquez is the author of both my favourite novel and my least favourite novel. How did he manage that?

Love in the Time of Cholera is my fave book ever. Bar none. I love that book. I can read it again and again and again.

Whereas, One Hundred Years of Solitude was pure torture. I think of it as One Hundred Years of Hitting Myself Repeatedly in the Head with a Blunt Object. I finished it because it was a gift, and then said never again. But about 10 years later, I thought, I'm going to read that book again. I'm older, wiser and I'll appreciate it more. Got about 20 pages in and gave up. I just can't stand that book.

Hurray!

The nutty astronaut love triangle is back in the news! I love this story.

And now it's better than ever because it contains that tasty tabloid treat...naughty e-mails! Whoo hoo. Everyone likes to read other people's naughty e-mails, right?

Actually, I feel sorry for the victim in this because she's already been attacked by the nut, and now her e-mails to her no-good cheatin' boyfriend are all over the Internet. So she gets to be the victim twice. That is really not fair.

But now we all know that Commander Catnip was "dating" these two women at the same time. Yay, we have a villain! I love a good villain.

First lesson learned: Gentlemen, when you are dating two women at the same time, and you are in bed with one, try to never, ever call her by the other woman's name. It just doesn't go over well. D'OH!!

More F**king Arctic Cold

Wah! I can't take this anymore.

It's minus 24 C this morning. What is that in Farenheit? Minus 3? Whatever. And it's windy, windy, windy. Windchill in the minus 30s.

And gas shot up overnight from 99/litre to $1.10 this morning. What's that about? We are surrounded by evil.

Just Leave, Already

I don't believe the Dick Cheney blood clot story. I think it's just the set-up for him to finally leave. Why they decided to go with a blood clot in the leg instead of the old familiar bum heart (he has a heart?) story, I don't know.

Maybe because Dr. House had a blood clot in the leg, and Cheney decided he wanted to go out sexy like House. Maybe not. I dunno.

The point is, this is the medical excuse that will be used for him to finally leave the Administration, thus making the world safer for the rest of us. He can leave to get a sex change, as far as I am concerned. Any medical reason, any reason at all, will do, just leave already.

Now the question is, who will the Chimperor put in his place, and thus anoint as his successor? Vice President Condi? Vice President Jeb?

SuperDuper Gross Creep-Out Story of the Day

Do FedEx guys know what they are delivering? They probably prefer not to know.

"An errant shipment of human body parts from China, destined for a U.S. laboratory, went mistakenly to the doorstep of a horrified Michigan couple on Thursday as a result of a delivery slip-up.

Franck Larmande discovered the error when he plunged his hands into the first of two packages labelled in Chinese and found a bubble-wrapped liver. Box No. 2 contained a partial human head.

"He started [opening] the second one, but stopped as soon as we saw the ear," Franck's wife, Ludivine, told the Grand Rapids Press newspaper. " (CBC)

More Lichtenstein

Forget about invading Liechtenstein; Lichtenstein is invading this blog.

Courtesy of JAW Fan's research, here is one featuring the infamous Brad. She'd rather drown than phone that rat Brad. Haven't we all felt this way, girls? (Joke!)

Still no pot roast, though.

JAW's Lichtensteiner joke explained

It's a Roy Lichtenstein reference. It went right over my head. On the other hand, JAW said he didn't know Lichtenstein was also a country. (I'm not sure if he was joking or not...)

Anyway, here's a couple of classic Lichtenstein paintings. I wanted to find one that actually referred to "Brad" or a pot roast, but I got lazy and gave up. These are worth a LOT of $$$$.

Headline of the Day

Swiss Accidentally Invade Liechtenstein

ZURICH, Switzerland (AP) -- What began as a routine training exercise almost ended in an embarrassing diplomatic incident after a company of Swiss soldiers got lost at night and marched into neighboring Liechtenstein.

These things happen.

In a related story:

Liechtensteiners Thrilled to be in the News.

"Who cares if we were invaded? It proves we exist", declare jubliant citizens of tiny, near-fictional country.

C'est L'Hiver

It's snowing today. A LOT. (sigh)

It's coming down sideways again. From right to left across the office window.

Also, my boss just called in sick. Everything is pointing to a completely unproductive Friday.

Yo, M.D.

There's a new Taliban bad guy. Wolf Blitzer told me. His name is Mullah Dadullah.

Seriously.

You know why Mullah Dadullah is going to be one of the biggest bad guys the Tablian has ever spewed forth? Because his name will be easy for Bush to remember and pronounce.

Prediction: In Bush's next speech or news conference, he will repeat the name Mullah Dadullah at least half a dozen times.

Why do think Bush never calls Ahmadinejad by name? 'Cause he can't. Why is Ayman Al Zawahiri not a bigger presence in the terrorized American psyche than Osama bin Laden.

bin Laden easy, Al Zawahiri hard.

Mullah Dadullah will soon be haunting your American dreams. He will be the most ruthless, terrifying foe since Saddam (Hey, Saddam's easy to say, too!)

Ah, now there's some news

All I had to do was complain about the boring campaign and, spring!, a little drama appears.

Seems André Boisclair got more than a bit upset when a radio host in the Saguenay referred to the PQ candidate for the riding, who is gay, as "une tapette".

Wow. I don't think I've heard that word since high school.

It says a lot more about the radio announcer than it does about the candidate.

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

After accusing North Korea in 2002 of pursuing parallel paths to a nuclear bomb, using plutonium and uranium, U.S. officials are now admitting doubts on the uranium program. (NY Times)

Five years after hurling endless scary accusations of impending doom, the Bushies are saying maybe the "facts" aren't as airtight as they first declared.

The only thing that continues to surprise me is that I continue to be surprised by each new admission that the Bush administration lied about something. I’ll never learn.

And now, with the recent agreement with North Korea, the Administration is huffing and puffing and saying "those Koreans better keep their end of the deal or else". Or else what? Would you keep your end of any deal with the Bush Administration? Why? You know they're lying. Are they completely unaware of their own zero credibility?

Election Campaign, Ho Hum

Maybe it’s just me but I don’t find the provincial election campaign very exciting so far. Nobody has said anything outstandingly stupid yet. There’s plenty of time left for that, I guess.

Where's Parizeau when we need him, by jove?

It’s a statistical three-way tie, but that doesn’t mean much, because I think it was the same thing last time, too. Does that mean a minority government for the Libs? Fine. Whatever.

I noted that the local PQ candidate has put up his signs around NDG. Poor guy. Talk about taking one for the team. I wonder how many people approach the Party and say: Please make me the PQ sacrificial lamb for the West End, pleeease. Perhaps this insures him some better riding in the future.

Russell Copeman, our incumbent MNA, has his posters up. They say: Vote for me and my giant Jewfro. Honestly, he could've gotten a decent haircut before getting his picture taken.

My riding always votes 85% Liberal, so my vote, whatever it is, is meaningless. If we have a Green in the running, I’ll throw away my vote in that direction. Otherwise, there must be a crazy Marxist-Leninist on the ballot, somewhere near the bottom. Just to make voting fun.

In yesterday's mail

I received a copy of sub Terrain, which is a literary magazine published in Vancouver.

And why did I receive my own copy of this high-falutin' publication?

Because it contained an excerpt from a work-in-progress by our very own Ms Mushrooms.

How exciting. How nice to see your (real) name in print. Congratulations on the first step to getting this Joycean never-ending magnum opus of Montreal to a publisher. One step at a time. So far, so good.

(Mea culpa: I haven't read it yet. I'm saving it for the weekend, when I'll be snowed in. Again.)