The world’s tallest man got married. Shoot, there’s another eligible bachelor off the market.
A guy in Texas stole a 5-foot-tall statue of the Virgin Mary and painted it to look like a clown. I’m sure he had his reasons.
The price of oil went up yesterday because of a (false) rumour of an Iranian missile being shot at an American warship. The cynic in me says this rumour was started by some oil exec who wanted to test how profitable a little hot war would be for his company. Answer: very profitable indeed.
Marijuana is not kosher for Passover therefore Jews who observe the holiday's special dietary laws should take a break from smoking weed. What about hash brownies?
And in sports news, Chelsea have banned three of their fans after they were caught throwing celery during the team's FA Cup win at Tottenham Hotspur. Again, I’m sure they had their reasons. Mr. Anonymous will be pleased with this development, a new use for the dread celery, and it doesn’t involve eating it!
2 comments:
not even cream of celery soup?
Gee, what happened to the good old bad old days when much weightier objects were thrown? Things that actually did some damage! Or maybe this is some post-modernist, deconstructionist thing that we don't understand.
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