Monday, November 24, 2008
One more day off
This weekend was difficult, but my aunt's funeral was nice and all her nieces and nephews were there, which is what she would've wanted, to have all of us together with her. I'm really glad I cancelled my vacation to attend.
I need one more day to recover and snooze.
Friday, November 21, 2008
I ain't a Doer
ESTP: The Doers.
The active and play-ful type. They are especially attuned to people and things around them and often full of energy, talking, joking and engaging in physical out-door activities. The Doers are happiest with action-filled work which craves their full attention and focus. They might be very impulsive and more keen on starting something new than following it through. They might have a problem with sitting still or remaining inactive for any period of time.
This is the most hilariously inaccurate description I have ever read. Especially that last line.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Is it time to panic yet?
From NY Times: “The problem is there is absolutely no silver lining visible” .
But, but, isn't there always a silver lining? Oil dropped below $50 a barrel today. I'm almost tempted to raise the themostat and burn a bit more of it just for fun (and comfort). I'm already tired of living in an igloo and it's only November. The cats are shivering because I simply refuse to heat the house at a reasonable level. Maybe I should splurge.
In other positive developments: The weather channel is forecasting 5 to 10 cm of snow one day next week. Joy!
Adios
It is weird to look out the living room window to an empty driveway.
She ain't a-never comin' back.
Final Bond comment
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
More Bond issues
And, is it me, or did the 3-second love scene between Bond and Fields feel like it had already been edited for t.v., and by t.v. I mean t.v. back in 1975 when sex scenes in movies were almost completely cut for television. They might as well have just shown a train going through a tunnel, like in that Monty Python montage. (This is where Mr. Anonymous pipes in to tell me that is not from Monty Python.)
On cars and quiet streets
One person who has not received any air-time on this blog, and deserves to be a regular character, is my nosy neighbour, heretofore known as Mrs. Nosy.
I like Mrs. Nosy, I even leave her my keys when I am away so she can check the house and visit the cats. Everyone trusts her with their keys. She is home alone all day, and is lonely, and is a one-woman neighbourhood watch. She sees everything, and talks about everything to everybody. And always in a judgemental tone, although the reality is she knows nobody gives a shit about her judgement.
She also can be depended upon for the casual, off-the-cuff racial slur. Fun!
So this a.m. I am outside, and I’m telling her how much I am enjoying the car-sharing program I have joined. She asked: “oh, is that the grey car I saw in front of your house”. The grey car. Kumar’s grey car. I can tell she is very, very curious about the grey car.
I said no, I rented a blue car twice and once a red car. But I ignore her on the grey car. Hee hee. This is kinda fun.
She first mentioned the grey car just days after Kumar first came over. I ignored her that time too.
Last week, when he was leaving, I mentioned the neighbours to him, and he looked at me and said, in his wry, inimitable fashion: “Your neighbours know exactly what I’m doing here. Especially the nosy one.” Heh.
Wait until Mrs. Nosy notes that the grey car has changed to Ontario plates! I predict she won’t be able to contain herself. This is what I get for living on a street where nothin’ ever happens.
Dylan, last night
As far as the song selection goes, I was disappointed. None of the faves I was hoping to hear. And, frankly, if I never hear Tweedledee & Tweedledum again, that’s fine with me. Also, Thunder on the Mountain, I just don’t like it much. The set list on the website is wrong. The second song was Lay Lady Lay, another non-fave. Also, Ain’t Talkin’ is another one I’m not that keen on. Really not a good set list for me personally. (On the bright side, I didn’t have to hear Maggie’s Farm.)
This Wheel’s on Fire was an interesting oddity. I liked that. And I thought Memphis Blues Again was terrific. And Watchtower was really good last night.
Ya win some, ya lose some.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
New Bond Issue
Opening titles are interesting.
An early scene is set in Siena in the town square, a place I have actually visited! Bond, unlike me, though, does not spend over an hour wandering aimlessly trying to find his bus stop. I, on the other hand, did not get attacked by bad guys, so there's that. Our experiences of Siena do not run parallel.
There's a bad guy with a distractingly awesome bad bowl haircut. (Spoiler alert: it's a hairpiece!)
The villain, Greene, bears an uncanny resemblence to my cousin, Claude. This kept throwing me out of the movie-watching experience, because I kept wondering if Claude thinks this guy looks like him too, or have enough people he knows seen the movie yet that someone may have told him. whatever.
The main Bond girl did not appeal to me. I found her uninteresting. Miss Fields, though, is perky and cool, in her limited number of scenes. And has great boots. More Strawberry Fields would've improved the movie for me.
The Canadian agent is rather meek and quiet. And polite. A stereotype in every way.
Not related to the movie just the theatre: There were 5 people in line. Two ladies ahead of me, followed by me, and two ladies behind of me. So what happens? The two ladies behind me tried to cut in front. I said "there's a line". And they backed down. Fuckin' people who go to Cavendish Mall.
"Paradise" postponed
He's still insisting this doesn't change a thing for us. Riiiight.
If he tells me to "chill" again, I'll punch him.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Today's Chip Review
After last week's Spicy Piri unspicy chip debacle, this weekend I decided to sample the other President's Choice flavour that had recently hit the snack aisle...yes, Barbecue Tandoori.
As a barbecue chip, they were full of flavour and brimming with well-balanced BBQ-ness. "Sassy" and "Crunchily-munchable" are the first two words that spring to mind to describe these pleasantly palatable potatoes...
Now, here comes the shocker (if you haven't already figured it out)...Taste-wise, how the bloody f**k is one ever expected to make a Tandoori connection? C'mon, these chips were about as Indian-inspired as William Conrad in a sari!...Obviously, barbecue was the key word here and that's it! You could have just as easily have called them Bollywood Barbecue or Benny Hill Barbecue.
I'm beginning to think "PC" should henceforth be referred to as "Poorly-named Chips" instead of "President's Choice"...My advice to the chip-powers that be, and I repeat, "Stop with the f**king cutesy names"...If you want to put a flavour in your title, then make sure they taste like it. As bad as Herr's Horesradish chips were (see an earlier review), they at least had it right where name and taste were concerned. And if you want cutesy names, then by all means have fun...I would love to purchase a bag of Karen Carpenter Ketchup, Brokeback Mountain Bacon, Raunchy Paunch-Inducing Ranch, or even Venereal Vinegar for that matter...
In closing, on the wang-o-meter, these delicious chips do score an elegantly erect 8.5 inches for lip-smacking barbecue delight, but a shamefully shrivelly-withered cold-showered 1 inch when it comes to Tandoori taste.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
No comment
Saturday, November 15, 2008
I'm not going to Cuba
Sis and I had gone to see her in the nursing home just last weekend, and we are so glad now that we made that trip. We didn't know it would be our last. I really thought she'd still be around in December when I got back from Cuba. And that I would get to see her again. But no.
This has been quite the shock. And I decided overnight that I couldn't go to Cuba. Cuba will always be there, but this event needs to be marked. The funeral is next Saturday.
On the practical side, I did have cancellation insurance and it does cover this, so I hope my financial loss is minimal. The personal loss, on the other hand, is immense.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Last day of work
Anyway, the point of this post to wish Good Luck, Best of Luck, to Ms Mushrooms this evening at her book launch and reading! Read well, don't be nervous and sell some books!
Because, as our friend Raoul, likes to say:
TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT, JOHNNY BOY!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
My dereliction of duties
That's a total of 7 so far.
Thanks to Mrs. Anon for bringing this to my attention.
One-word movie review
I saw an Indian movie called "Fashion" last night. Those people can do camp. JAW Fan would approve.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Chip Review Time!
This past weekend, to my initial delight, I noticed that President's Choice had released two new flavours of chips in their upscale silver bags...BBQ Tandoori and Spicy Piri. I checked the chili reading on the package for Spicy Piri and it read "three chilis"...their hottest rating to date. "Yowsa and Hot Damn," I thought, quickly reaching for a bag. At a $1.69, these high-end chips are a steal. So, that evening, after supper, I quickly ripped open the bag and dived in. "These aren't that spicy"...but continued to eat...and you know what? They didn't get any spicier afterwards. Either I picked up a batch gone wrong or the f * *king idiots at the PC corporation have no idea what the word "spicy" means. Folks, pick up a dictionary or go Wikipedia it...From now on, stop with the cutesy flavour names and just put on the pacakge "These chips are not spicy at all" or "These chips will set your f **king mouth a-flame so bad, you'll be crying like a five-year old girl who accidentally wandered into the midst of a Japanese Dodge Ball game." Seriously, these chips were about as hot as a Don Knotts centerfold. Is it possible the chip industry is losing momentum? Is the decline in the US economy affecting our potato snacks as well? Can't Obama do anything about this?...On the wang-o-meter, these chips score points for taste and crispiness...but, where their spiciness is concerned, they rank a locker-room humiliating 2.5.
(Nanuk's Editorial Note: Shoulda gone for the Tandoori.)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
"Paradise" regained
Which is dull, because any Russian playwright worth his salt will tell you that conflict is the stuff of drama, and harmony is well, bor-ing.
(I realize that Russian playwrights have nothing to do with Milton. I'm enveloped in literary references for some reason. And in two weeks I will get to visit a whole bunch of Hemingway-related places in Havana. Which would be cool if I liked Hemingway, which I don't. Perhaps I'll have a change of heart.)
Remembrance Day II
The man is 108. I can't believe how good he looks. He seems to have all his marbles and looks about 30 years younger than his actual age.
He probably has more energy than I do. I'm impressed!
Remembrance Day
On Saturday, though, sis and I went to our parents' grave and we left poppies for my dad. So we did our pre-emptive boo-hooing on the weekend.
Time really flies. On 11 November 1998, I visited houses with a real estate agent, and I set foot in this little abode for the first time. I saw three cottages of the same type. This one was in terrible shape, but I knew it was this one I wanted. And the price seemed reasonable. Ten years later, the price seems unbelievably unreasonably cheap. What a deal.
One of the first things I said I would do when I moved in was to remove all the silly, ornate, golden light switches (they are so tacky Italian, I said) and replace them with sensible ones. And ten years later, the ornate Italiano light switches are still there. I don't even notice them anymore. Whatever.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Trouble in "Paradise": The continuing saga
He is in salary negotiations for a job in Toronto. Having gotten to this stage of the process, he is confident that he's getting the job. So I said: "Well, that's it for us." He was aghast and accused me of wanting to dump him. Which is so not true. I said: "You're going to move to Toronto". He said: "so what?"
He's an unrealistic goof. He thinks he can work 5 days a week, come back to Montreal on weekends, and we'll continue to see each other. His family is here, and he runs a software business here which he will continue to be a partner in. So weekends will be to keep up with the biz.
And he still thinks there's time for me. The man with the worst time-management skills I have ever met is telling me "Chill, woman" everything will be alright. I remain unconvinced. I knew this wouldn't last long, but I didn't expect it to be over before Xmas for these reasons. I just thought I would throttle him by Xmas, and that would end it. I guess there's still time....
Now he's worried that I'll cheat on him while I'm in Cuba. oh brother.
Pata Pata
What a song.
I don't think I've heard this in decades, and I never knew the name of it. I loved it as a kid. Such a tremendously cool song.
It is sooooo great.
Yay!
This is great.
What, Me Worry?
I was surprised to see the news of Paloma barrelling into Cuba over the weekend. I quoted Maxwell Smart to myself: Missed it by that much.
Paloma starts with a "P". You can't go much further than that in the hurricane alphabet, can you? I don't want to meet Queenie or Quentin or Quasimodo.
So the last two weeks of November should be okay, right? Right? I ain't never done been in a hurricane before, and I'm not interested in living' it. I don't even own Anderson-Cooper-style hip waders.
Note to self: Add rain poncho to packing list.
Superior, they said, never gives up her dead
Now I can't get it out of my head.
I'm passing this info on in the hope that it will get lodged in somebody else's brain, and I can stop singing it.
Try it....The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down of the great lake they call Gitchee Gumee....keep going....
Friday, November 07, 2008
Other people's dating problems
So, before deciding to “get serious” (euphemism) he asks H what her religion is. She said “Protestant” and it’s clear he doesn’t know what that is. (You’re not from around here, are you, son?) Anyway he looked worried and asked her if that meant Jewish. She said no. So onward they proceeded.
I said to my friend that Protestant is too specific. She should’ve just said Christian. Guaranteed he doesn’t give a shit about the differences between Protestants and Catholics (Sorry, Ireland). We’re all just soiled Christians in his book.
Anyway, everything seems fine but I see a big, big problem. He has already introduced her to the Koran. Run for your life, kid, says I. And this was even before the euphemism took place.
-------
The quotable Kumar on Judaism, Christianity and Islam: “They all started from the same books, and then everything got all fucked up.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
More Trouble in "Paradise"
K: You know, I thought you were lying to me about owning a car.
N: Why would I lie about that?
K: Because you take the bus to work.
N: What’s wrong with that?
K: (Incredulously) Who takes the bus when they own a car???
N: I do.
K: Why?
N: Because I don’t like to drive.
K: I don’t get it.
N: (sigh)
We made it past the milestones of Halloween and US election day. Can this last to US Thanksgiving? Probably, but only because I’ll be on vacation for the last two weeks of November. Then there’s Provincial Election Day. (Note to self: no more political talk.) Then Xmas, which he doesn’t celebrate so at least there’s that. Brother.
This week, he said "Tell me more about the car sharing thing." And I thought, why, so you can mock it? I said "Later. After I've tried it".
I'm Missin' Her Already
This raises some interesting points:
1) Did none of her handlers knows that she was not supposed to give a speech?
1a) If so, did nobody tell her?
1b) If they did tell her, did she just tell them to write one for her anyway?
1c) If they didn't know, what were they doing working on a campaign? or
eeeek!
2) Did she write a speech herself?
O, ye gods of news leaks, if 2) is in fact the case, please, please let that speech find its way onto the Internet. I so want to read it.
------
Other weird fact, her 7-year-old daughter bought a $700 purse with Republican funds? This is gossip gold.
I'm a Do-Gooder
My first rental went okay, but I got stuck in traffic in (where else?) Lasalle (at the stupid overpass) and got the car back to the lot with literally only 2 minutes to spare.
Lesson 1: Always book way more time than I think I need. I'd already thought I'd done that last night, but it still wasn't enough. Stupid Lasalle traffic/construction jam. grr.
Ka-Boom
But if you look at the standard cut-offs dates, the last year for baby boomers to be born was 1964. New Prez O was born, like me, and Mr. Anonymous, and Ms. Mushrooms, and Mr. Mushrooms, in 1961.
(Aside, will Oprah be willing to share her initial with the New Prez? I predict that not only will she do that, she will let him be on the cover on her magazine! Maybe even without her! Let’s see if that happens.)
(Michelle O, on the other hand, will only get a cover if she shares it with Oprah.)
Back to the topic. Even though ’64 is the cut-off, I have never felt like a boomer. I’ve always felt more like I belong to disgruntled Gen X. I don’t remember much about Woodstock and all that hippy stuff. And the Kennedys and Martin Luther King. I still dislike hippies. My first political memory is, however, of Trudeau in 1968 or 69. I still don’t think this makes me a boomer. PET came to our MP’s house which was just a couple of blocks from our house, and my sister made me go see him. She boosted me up and I said (memorably) “All I can see is the top of his bald head.” I never went in for Trudeau-mania.
To me, boomers are like Clinton and ding-dong W, in their 60’s or late 50’s. They are people worrying about retirement. They have grandchildren. They are not my generation. I’m a tail-end boomer, which is just like being a Gen Xer. We arrived when all the fun was over. We got the leftovers.
So is New Prez O, a boomer? I think this came out clearly in the campaign. Trying to tie him to the Weather Underground? He said “I was 8.” Not a boomer.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Big Trouble Ahead
My first thought was "Don't make me hate you." Second thought: "You cannot be serious" but I knew he was.
It has been obvious that he is a political conservative but I've been in denial about it. Now I have to face that awful fact. Ick. I don't want to be James Carville and Mary Matalin (reversed). This is grim.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Relief!
Wow. The next President of the United States is the same age as me. I feel a tad under-achieving right now.
Now I can go to bed. zzzzzzzzz
Double ??
Anderson is interviewing a guy who's a hologram. I'm too old for this weirdness.
Election Night News You Need
DALLAS (AP) -- A man has proven that you can never have too much underwear when he stole more than 130 pairs of panties from a Victoria's Secret store.
The report did not indicate what styles or sizes were stolen.
Huh?
49% of Americans are retards. It's a Fact!
Big Gulp
I see that the little town that always votes first, Diggler's Ditch, went 15-6 for BO. Does this mean anything? I dunno. But if it had gone for McCain, I'd be drinking already. I know that much.
This morning, I was thinking what if on Inauguration Day, Obama comes out in some weird garb, and declares "They were right! I AM a secret muslim! Ha! Ha! (evil laughter)" . Uh, then what?
Monday, November 03, 2008
Gulp
I don't care what the polls say. I just keep thinking that there will be a tie somewhere that will send the thing to the Supreme Court, and the Court will again side with the Republicans.
Doom.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
I'm slacking off on the job
I shall be in el landa de Fidel, and thus will miss the shiftless bum on this swing through town. Why do I figure this won't be the last?
Answer: it's the "never-ending" tour. And it truly is.
Sugar-coated fascism
The Quebec govt is currently running radio ads that tell us to greet one another by using the word “Bonjour”. This offends me to my core. There are many ways to greet each other, the ad says, but the best way is to say “Bonjour”. The fucking govt is telling us how to speak to each other. There’s a word for that.
I’m proud and happy to have been born into a bilingual, two-culture family. In this country, I consider that hitting the jackpot. But don’t tell me how to talk to other people. Don’t tell me what to think. Don’t tell me how to act. How dare you.
I was ranting about this to Kumar yesterday. (Yep, he’s already being subject to my rants. Lucky thing.) and when I used the word “fascist”, his eyebrows leapt up in a very cartoonish fashion.
The voice of the woman (of course it’s a woman’s voice!) in the ad is soft, gentle and has a lovely, not heavy, not harsh, Quebecois accent. The best way to deliver an intolerant, racist message is smoothly and gently, right? This pisses me off so much. Just be honest, put out ads where a strong, loud male voice says “Parlez francais or else get lost”. Grrr.
Friday, October 31, 2008
C'est L'Halloween !
Enjoy your treats.
Load up on Rockets mmmmmmmmm.
It's time for screams. Eeek, I say.
(I don't even know what I'm writing. It's like a haiku from the Dollar Store. Lowest quality possible.)
I Hates Myself
This game being the fact that he threatens to prescribe a statin, and I promise to reform my bad eating habits, so he gives me another 6 months to change. I don't change. And on we go.
Yesterday was the day of reckoning. I left his office with a prescription. Our actual exchange:
Me: You are going to give me hell.
Dr. S.: No. I'm not going to give you hell, I'm going to give you a prescription.
So now I am truly middle-aged. But he told me he has taken people off statins if they can show him that they have truly and for the long-term "changed their lifestyle". If I truly and in the long run "change my lifestyle", and the change will be visible on my blood tests, he will take me off the statin in a year's time.
Can I truly and in the long run "change my lifestyle"? I want to!! I really do!! I don't want to take pills. But today I had a Big Mac and fries for lunch, because work is pissing me off and I had to stress-eat with my colleagues. I'm screwed.
Putt, Putt, Zoom
She's 48 years old. And taking driving lessons.
I feel for her. I got my license at 23. To this day, I still hate my sadistic driving instructor, Darryl. He did his job well, I passed my test, but I hated him. Darryl the asshole.
I did not get behind the wheel of a car for 14 years after that. So, at 37, it was like having to learn all over again, and I did not have a choice. I HAD to drive.
I can only imagine what my cousin's going through. (Stay away from LaPrarie!)
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wedding Bell Blues
There's only 5 days left. And only three of them are "November surprise" days.
Does this mean that the power-that-be (i.e. Mom) has accepted that she's not going to be Veep next week, so basically the kids get off the wedding hook? I hope so. Making those kids get married was such a dumb-ass idea.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Gross!!!!
This happened in Sydney. Of course it did. Such a thing would never happen in Melbourne.
Winter?
Yes, for those of you not in the region, it effing snowed overnight. The roofs were white this morning. Gaaaaaawd. Just came in from outside, and a few flakes are still falling in the pretty cold wind. Fortunately they are melting on contact with the ground. Small mercies.
2 and a half weeks until vacation.... ah! This is exactly why I planned a November vacation this time around.
Dorion Suits
I do, however, remember Tony Perez doing a Dorion Suits commercial. (Watch, this is where Mr. Anonymous will pop up and say it wasn't Perez but Andres Gallaraga, but I'm SURE it was Tony Perez.)
That commercial, I can still recite: "They got so many suits, in so many sizes, it's easy to pick out what you want". At least I think that was what he was saying, his accent was pretty heavy. It started with something like "Going to get myself a couple of goooood-looking suits. Where you gonna send me? To Dorion Suits."
And, on the French side, Jacques Laperriere did commercials for a headache pill. Can't remember which brand. But he overstressed the word "penible". It was always "pour les maux de tetes peeeeeniiiible" My mother and I would be in stitches every time.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Help
I'm trying to remember the product and the hockey player in an old tv commercial, where the player got "two minutes for looking so good".
It popped into my head (at least partially) tonight, and the only thing I remember clearly is how dumb it was.
Recession = time to waste money
Word of the day
American Insanity
You know who I bet is loving this? Fidel.
Finally la Revolucion socialista has made it to US shores. Viva! He can die happy now.
On the aesethetic front, I was watching tv last night, and man, the Obamas are such a good-looking couple. He's handsome, and she's an absolute knock-out. And their girls are adorable. It's going to be Camelot. The whole world will fall in love with America again. I'm so looking forward to it. I want to feel what it was like when Kennedy was elected, and I believe that is what we are going to experience.*
Contrast with the McCains. Poor John. All that skin cancer has really left him looking bad. Of course, this is not his fault. His eyes, on the other hand, are crazy. When he gets that scary look, I think of the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode with the rapper Crazy Eyes Killah.
But Cindy. Yikes. All that botox has made her face so tight and scary. And that is her fault. You can barely see what is left of the beautiful woman she used to be. She could've been an elegant older woman now instead of a piece of plastic.
(*Yes, I am fully aware of the ominous undertone of that comparison. Let's not go there yet.)
Adios, Romantic Malebox
I guess this is how people declare a commitment in our modern world? Funny.
I don't think I'll delete mine completely because "a while" is not much of an accurate figure. But I'm changing the status from "single" to "seeing someone" and making the account dormant. This is amusing.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Another One?
I call Time Out.
We just had an October election, we have American election madness in November, and now a provincial in Dec?
I have election overload. Uncle! Oncle!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Guilty, Guilty Pleasure
But the cover was all about Madonna's divorce, and I just couldn't resist. I had to have it. Look at these headlines:
They both had secret lovers!
Guy called her "old, fat, ugly, wrinkled"!
Madonna's slaps, months without sex!
On A-Rod: "It's like she spit in Guy's face" !
Relieve me of my $5.00, please.
I'm not much of a Madonna fan (forgive me, Reservoir Dogs connaisseurs). I like her okay, but I don't own a single CD of hers. But I've always respected her as a businesswoman. She's been a hugely successful rich, rich woman for 25 years, and to my knowledge, she's done it all on her own with no Rene Angelil running her life for her. If she gets shafted in this divorce, I'll be really surprised. I can't believe she doesn't have an iron-clad pre-nup. She'll find a way to turn this to her advantage. I'm sure of it.
Sunday Morning Fart News
The gas responsible for the foul odour of flatulence and rotten eggs may play an important role in regulating blood pressure, Canadian researchers say in a study released Friday. (CBC)
I've always been proud of my low blood pressure, and now I learn there's a way to demonstrate it. prrrrt.
Friday, October 24, 2008
It's Do-Nothing Friday!
I don't mean yay! she has a migraine!, because I know how badly she suffers from them, but I do mean yay! I'm in between tasks and don't need to ask for something new, so I can spend the day "cleaning" my messy office, doing a few little things and, oh, I dunno, perhaps blogging a bit. Sweeeet!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Dead Celeb News
For some reason, I doubt his name will be mentioned at the next Academy Awards when they go through the list of dead stars of the past year. But it would be cool if they did. And he should get the most bitchin'est applause.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Anxiety Dream 101
All my department are at a UN fair that looks like the Village in The Prisoner. Our boss tells us we have to attend a lecture. It is at 9:00 a.m. I am panicking because I know my test is at 9:00, although I also know it only officially starts at 9:30. So I go along with the group to the lecture. By 9:30 I’m looking at my watch and trying to figure out how to get out of there. At 10:00 I leave and go to the exam room.
The exam room is a dirty room that is decorated like a kindergarten, with posters and blackboards. There is one woman there who will be the invigilator. I am alone to do the test, so I sit at a table. She hands me the exam booklet which looks like a dirty copy book. It is orange and has stains and coffee rings on the cover. A lot of the print on the cover is in German.
I start the test. The woman starts talking at me. When I ask her to be quiet because I am writing my test, she starts to tell me off. “What do you think? The UN is a busy place! Do you think the UN stops just because you are working? If you don’t want this job, someone else will take it.” I tell her angrily and firmly that I need quiet to do my test. She continues “Who do you think you are? You think the whole UN will be quiet just because YOU are working? If you cannot work this way, someone else will.”
The she turns on a transitor radio and music starts playing, and she keeps talking at me. I am getting very angry, but I am determined to write it to prove to her that I am serious and I want the job. Then two other women come in and all three of them start speaking loudly in Spanish. I keep trying to write the test.
(You don't need Freud to analyse this baby. )
News you need
Far, far too many weeks go by without any reliable, newsworthy Yeti reports.
All My Little Wealth
Thank god I'm not rich!
To paraphrase the one and only Bob, when you ain't got much, you ain't got too much to lose.
Monday, October 20, 2008
D'Oh!
This week's Mad Men
Just in case...
As for the Liberal leadership race: I'm a Ralph Goodale girl all the way. Why? He's cuddly! How's that for political analysis. And he's the only Lib from Manitoba through Alberta (I think, anyway). If he can rise above all the Tory blue out west, why not hand him the reins and see how he does? Does he speak French? At all? I dunno.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Bragg
I'm addicted to watching a YouTube clip of Billy Bragg singing Levi Stubbs' Tears. When the trumpet solo comes in at the end, I am blown away by how gorgeous it is. God I love that performance.
Romantic Pessimist Update
Place your bets: Can this last until Xmas? US turkey day? US election turkey day? Halloween? Next Monday?
I'm so not an optimist.
Another Brain Fart (but not mine)
So get this.
There was a long, but clear explanation at the beginning of each part of the test about how we were not to identify ourselves in any way on the test pages. If we identified ourselves in any way, this would result in immediate disqualification. We had been given booklets and were told to put our names and ID numbers on the cover page. But not to put our ID number on any of the test sheets. They told us that HR would take our booklets, and they would write our ID numbers on each page of our booklets and then remove the cover page, ensuring complete anonymity. This was explained at the start of part A of the test. Clear enough, right?
Apparently not.
It was then repeated at the start of part B. During the part B explanation, the woman at my table looked stunned and her hand shot up. The HR assistant came over, and I heard the applicant say that, in part A, she had written her initials on every page.
I tried not to look at her, but I thought: what the f***, lady? Are you nuts?
I believe that, in old psychology textbooks, this is known as self-sabotage. I mean, what the f*** was she thinking? Her initials? On every page?
The HR assistant said she believed this meant immediate disqualification, but the applicant asked if there could be an exception made. Why? You must be joking. The HR assistant looked skeptical, and asked the applicant if she still wanted to continue with parts B and C. The dimwit said yes. And I just kept thinking: what an effing maroon.
Well, that’s one member of the competition out of the way.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
My Balkan Brain Fart
I thought about writing " starts with a B" or "B...." but I knew it wouldn't fly. In my head (not out loud, I hope) I was saying Ba, Be, Bi, Bo, Bu, Br, Bl, but it just wasn't happenin'.
I left it until the end, hoping that once I stopped obsessing about it, it would come back to me. It didn't. Even on the bus heading to LaGuardia at 5, I still couldn't remember that effing word.
So I wrote "former Yugoslavia" which is technically correct, but not the word they wanted. Maybe I'll get half a point for at least knowing Baltic was wrong? maybe?
Other than that, the test went pretty smoothly.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Panic, pack, panic, pack
And praying that I don't forget anything important, such as the email I have to present as proof that I am allowed to write the test.
And panicking. A large portion of this evening will involve panicking. Followed by worry and insomnia.
My tummy is already in knots.
In Local Election News
In other news, the Marxist-Leninist candidate got: 187 votes. Hmm. This is interesting to me for two reasons: 1) some of these people are actual Marxist-Leninists! They exist! and 2) even those who are not real MLs cared enough about voting to go the polling place and mark a ballot. Good for them.
10 million eligible Canadians did not vote yesterday. Shame! I don't want us to turn into the US. People in other countries are willing to die for this voting crap/right. We should respect that.
Election Results
Who wanted this election other than Harper? Nobody. And it shows.
This being said, I am very, very glad to see another minority. It will keep the kooks in line for another year.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Them Commies to our South
I'm buying a shotgun, dagnabbit.
The US of A has been taken over by pinkos. We're gonna be invaded by Reds soon. I must defend my private property!
Live Free or Die!
Le Grand Jour
I bought popcorn. Will be hunkering down at 9:30 to watch results.
I think the Bloc will do very well tonight, possibly regaining the seats they lost last time 'round.
I predict: return of the Tory minority. Anything else will be a surprise. Will that mean another election within two years? Probably.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Turkey Day, Canadian-style
On the train to the Holy City, I drank most of the way. I was seated with a family of 3 Australians, and they were fun. Mom, dad and 20-year-old daughter, who said "my parents are alcoholics". (I think it was a joke.) They were from Sydney, but were still really funny and nice. (Really, susie, they were!) When my sister met me at the train station, I said "It's 3:00 in the afternoon, and I'm drunk". Damned Aussies.
In other news, Paul Krugman won the Nobel Prize for Economics! Whoo hoo. I'm a big Krugman reader and I think this is very cool news indeed.
Friday, October 10, 2008
OK Gang, It's Time For....
All together now:
Doom despair and agony on me (moan awwwwh)
Deep dark depression excessive misery (groan yaaaah)
If it weren't for bad luck
I'd have no luck at all (ohhhhhh ahhhhh)
Doom despair and agony on me! (moan bis)
(My only quibble with this quote is: is it doom despair or gloom despair?)
P.S. on Kumar
(This is known as passing Test No. 1)
What the heck?
"Palin pre-empts state report, clears self".
She cleared herself of troopergate charges? Cleared herself? Who is she? Joe Stalin?
This campaign gets crazier and scarier every day.
And in Market News., wait a sec, lemme check....oh, they're down. I wish I had a sound effects thing here to make that sliding wooooooop sound. Followed by a wah wah.
Kumar Update
Finally met him. It went much, much better than I anticipated. Which, since I had no expectations, isn't too surprising, I suppose.
He's very nice, very mature. But the moment that really made me go hmmmm was when he said he likes to write about international affairs. He then took 3 packets of sugar, laid them on the table and said "This one is Afghanistan, this one is Pakistan and this one is India." And then gave me his explanation of the tribal zones between A'stan and P'stan, and the history of P'stan and the US. It was a meeting of geo-political nerd minds. Anyone else's eyes would've glazed over, I suspect, but I paid close attention.
I also noticed at that point that his hands and fingernails were very clean. (Bonus points!)
How very odd this is. But in a good way.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Double Huh?
"Across this country, this is the agenda I have set before my fellow prisoners and the same standards of clarity and candor must now be applied to my opponent."
Wha?
Huh?
Does this make me a philistine? Should I care about JMGLC?
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
P.S. on the Debate
Wow. That was so pathetic. It wasn't even high school, it was elementary school.
I know, but I'm not telling you! So there! (Sticks out tongue) nyah nyah!
You'd think since he has this plan, and he loves America, he would've at least shared it with his bestest friend, Gen. Petraeus. But no, even the General, will have to wait until Old Crabby is President. What an asshole.
Hockey Night in Buffalo
We are so proud.
Bro-in-law's bro won a contest so they go to the game, ride the zamboni (why does this make me think Special Ed?) and meet the Sabres players. Just my luck they get to meet the team when Satan no longer plays for them. I would've loved an autograph from Satan.
They are die-hard Canadiens fans but they get to meet Sabres? oh well.
Maybe they will meet Lindy Ruff. I'm really out of it and don't even know if he is still the coach. I just like his name.
Last night's debate
On Radio Canada they had a French-speaking Republican on (yes, there is such a thing!) and he was calling it a tie, and I thought, wow, you have to be embarrassed about saying that.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Don't Call Me
I'm truly skeptical that this will allow me to safely answer the phone between 6 and 7 p.m. without having the split-second delay, before someone says "May I speak to Mr. or Mrs...." argh.
What is the latest a telemarketer has ever called you? I've gotten 9 p.m. calls from the Gazette and I'm just barely managed not to yell at them. Quit bugging me, people.
Comic Relief
A Spanish tourist has been arrested after swimming naked in the moat of the Imperial Palace in Tokyo. The man spent an hour in the water before he tried to make his escape. He hurled rocks at police and charged at them with a long stick, before jumping back into the water. (BBC)
It's worth going to the BBC site to watch video. I watched it, thinking, wow, what a fool. Did he really think he could escape police and photographers by waving a pole around. And, if he had, then what? Run around the streets of Tokyo naked for how long? Until everyone else got tired and went home?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7656537.stm
Monday, October 06, 2008
Gulp
shit!
Repeat after me: It's only money, it's only money. I never wanted to retire at 60 anyway. I've always wanted to work until I die. Sure, I have. Working is fun. Work will set you free.
The Dow has only lost 360. Every1's a winner!
Speaking of Dow, I need a beer.
10-minute update: The Dow is now down 500. I can't keep up!
Another update: The Dow is now down 700...and JAW Fan still doesn't care!
Bumpity bump
I need to go shopping today. I'm looking to buy a flattering barrel with sturdy shoulder straps, as I predict that is what we will all be wearing in 2009.
Best line of the McLaughlin Group this week: Eleanor said "Trillion is the new billion."
Money has no value anymore.
Most disturbing photos of the weekend. Pictures of the leaders meeting in Europe. Why does Sarkozy always look like he's ready to jump into Angela Merkel's dress? Sarko, you've got a hot wife. Isn't that enough?
And in US politics, the final month of the campaign will be about the Repubs turning Obama into a terrorist-sympathizer. They are so effin' lame.
Only 8 days left in our campaign. I'm sick of everybody.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Saturday
In the meantime, I got a message from a guy in Tennessee who seemed friendly and nice. So I answered and thanked him for his nice message, but said, oh well, 800 miles is too far. So today he writes back and still wants to chat, and, get this, if we get along, he's ready to relocate. Good lord. You know, I used to think women were desperate and men indifferent, now I've reversed this view.
I spent most of the day doing the Sample Exam for my New York test. If this sample fairly reflects the real test, I think I'll do okay. It will be challenging to get it done in the allotted time, but I feel fairly confident. Now, how often do I ever say that? Not very often.
Friday, October 03, 2008
I'm gonna miss the Red Sox for this?
I expect Kumar to be rapidly sent to romantic Guantanamo, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
American Debate
Oh, and she thinks Cheney's concept of the vice-presidency is okay. I'm sure she doesn't even know what it is. That answer alone should condemn her forever.
Biden was great. The high point was his "Maverick"-is-a-piece-of-crap answer. I loved every second of that. Killer Joe!
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Sigh
Mexican Manuel Uribe, the world's fattest man in the 2007 Guinness Book of Records, said Wednesday that he would wed this month, after losing nearly half his original weight.
"It will be a hefty wedding, on a large scale, but with a low-calorie banquet," the 43-year-old told AFP.
Uribe, who lives in his bed, in February said he had dropped 230 kilograms (570 pounds) from 590 kilograms (1,300 pounds).
He said he would marry a widow named Claudia, to whom he has been engaged for two years, on October 26 at home in Monterrey, northern Mexico.
The media-friendly Mexican expanded his wedding plans after offers of sponsorship from international magazines, television stations and local mayors who offered a cake for 400 guests. (Salon)
A man who "lives in his bed" can find a partner, and I can't. If anyone's looking for me, I'm taking to my bed.
Also, "media-friendly Mexican", leads me to ask: where is Joe Berger these days? I miss his alliteration.
La politique canadienne
Harper was really, really flat. No energy. Was he indifferent, or bored, or what? I dunno. But considering how much the Tories need Quebec to win their majority, I would’ve thought he’d be trying harder.
Best comment on radio this morning: Somebody should’ve given Harper a Red Bull.
I’ve always been an NDP woman, but I just can’t stand Jack Layton. He’s in love with himself. Just can’t stand him. On the opposite side, I disagree with the very existence of the Bloc, but I like Duceppe.
Consensus seems to be that Dion did very well. That’s good for those of us who are praying for a minority govt.
Last week, I watched Liz May on with Mansbridge, and I liked her and decided to vote Green, and last night, I was reassured in my decision. I like her. She did very well given her limited French, and all her grammatical mistakes. She’s really bad on mixing up “le” and “la”. But she was game, and she made her points, and she seemed sensible. So she won, in my book, and has my vote.
So, tonight, will I watch some of the English debate? Yes, for a while, but then I’ll have to switch to the highly anticipated train wreck that will unfold on CNN. Must see tv. Though I am reaching the point where watching Palin has become painful. That Supreme Court question last night on CBS had me squirming.
Go Red Sox!
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
In other news: the sky is blue, the grass is green
! ! !
Nanuk and Kumar don't go to Second Cup
Knowing this, I wasn’t concerned when I arrived precisely at 7:15, and no Kumar. 7:30 no Kumar.
7:45 still no Kumar.
At this point, I had finished drinking my green tea and passionfruit smoothie, (which I’m still enjoying even though it isn’t summer anymore) so I packed up my stuff, went for a pee and left at 7:50. Thinking: jerky kid.
For this I missed the first 25 minutes of “House” !
Post-House, I turn on my computer and see two emails from Kumar: one says he’s running late, and the second says: he’s really, really sorry, but now he is at Second Cup (it’s 8 effing 30 at this point) and will I come and join him.
Then I get an IM coming in from him. I shut it down.
Then I get a third apologetic email saying: you have every right to be angry. Grovel. Grovel.
I did not respond.
So the questions for the panel are: how much more grovelling am I owed in these circumstances? Do I give this a second try (for a second green tea smoothie at Second Cup?) or do I blow this thing off?
(An aside: When I saw the scotsman in the caf getting coffee this morning, I was this close to saying "you don't know what crap I go through just because you don't want me, bozo". )
Monday, September 29, 2008
Yikes
I have a shiny green wheelbarrow that I'm going to put my useless dollars in when I go to buy a loaf of bread. Whee!
Fortunately, all the skyscrapers on Wall Street now have windows that can't be opened, so we don't have to watch those guys jumping out. That's a relief.



