This guy deserves his own blog. And maybe a Twitter feed because there is always something new and weird going on his life. I'm so boring compared to FF. What is my life missing, you ask? Shenanigans? Oddities? Weirdness? Call it what you will.
Since we last heard about FF, here is a rundown of what has happened in his life:
1. Started his new job. Wore a tie on the first day, discovered he was overdressed.
2. When to work today without a tie.
3. Got presented with a 2-page "renter agreement" (i.e. rant) from the friends he was crashing with. Choice exerpts below.
4. To escape current room-mates, answered an ad from people looking for a new room-mate.
5. Found new room-mates.
6. Borrowed money from his sister to pay Sept rent to new room-mates.
7. Is preparing to move out this evening.
Now about the "renter agreement", let's say it gives Sheldon and Leonard's room-mate agreement a run for its money. I'm just going to quote a few choice bits. Apparently the pot is a problem. And the sex. And co-habiting with dogs. FF refused to sign the agreement when they presented it, which is why he is moving out.
1. "Monday to Friday is work days which means early nights. Anyone coming over and staying over past 10:00 pm must be respectful of those who are sleeping and have to be up early for work. I will kick anyone out who is not being respectful of this rule.
Any sexual encounters must be in your own bedroom or in the shower. NO EXCEPTIONS. We are not ok with other people’s bodily liquids and it’s downright rude. Again be respectful of others who are around no one wants to hear your sexual encounters."
2."Follow the guide lines that have been set up for how we have trained our dogs and what we do with them. Yes they are not your dogs but... If you let them out you will have to deal with the consequence and responsibilities that come with the dogs. You will have to clean a dirty bum and will need to keep a watch full eye on them and you will have to take off the underwear for when the girls are in heat. It is part of co-existing with them and not being cruel. If they get out you will be held responsible for the consequences that happen outside or within the yard. This is a law that is held here in Calgary so be very carefully I cannot stress this how important that is. We would never forgive you if something happened to any of the dogs. Be very wise and responsible."
3. "No chemicals at ALL or anyone on chemicals in the house".
Thank goodness pot is a weed and not a chemical, is all I can say.
5 comments:
ah, the land of doggie diapers and (silent, liquidless)shower shenanigans!
(and there you have it: the alberta advantage)
My life is stressful and miserable enough without this goofball adding to it!!!!
Is it safe to say he would have liked to have chemically-induced sex on the living room sofa after 10:00 PM on a Tuesday night???
JAW fan
He never did that at my house! That's for darn sure. (Neither did I, for that matter.)
He also never offered to wipe my kitty cat's bum. He was happy to feed the cats but bum-wiping was totally out of the question. I did not have a problem with this, unlike his soon-to-be-ex room-mates.
Rule makers like that can only be nutters. FF is smart to get as far away from them as possible.
...can you just imagine what my roommate agreement would look like??? As far as I'm concerned, this one's not so bad. Hell, in my condo, at 9:30, if given the option, I would like to walk the halls, knock on every door, and say "ok, people, lights out."
I guess that explains why I live alone!
JAW fan
NB: For anyone who might be entertaining the idea of moving in with me one day, you might want to talk to Nanuk first. She'll steer you straight.
Post a Comment