Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Office Intrigue

Forget about my career in forgery, I should've been a spy.

For the past two weeks or so, a man from another floor uses the men’s room on our floor. I see him come out of the stairwell, go into the men’s room whose door is right beside the stairs, and when he leaves he goes back out into the stairwell.

I recognize him vaguely as someone who has worked here for a while, but I don’t know which department he is in. Or which floor he works on. I assume it's the floor either directly above or below ours. I can’t see why he would climb two flights or more to use a bathroom.

But why do this at all? Why can’t he use the can on his own floor? Any ideas?

This is really bugging me. I mentioned it to my colleague this morning and all she did was laugh, but now she’s curious and wants to see the guy too.


Also, I need a nickname for this character. I've been calling him The Bathroom Thief, but that isn't really accurate. Suggestions?

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

...oh come on, after all the toilet talks we've had, you still haven't figured it out.

Bathroom idiosyncrasies and hangups is an endless topic of conversation at our lunch table.

In this particular case, I would safely guess that the guy in question is unable to do his #2 business around any of his colleagues for whatever reason. By going to another floor, he is among strangers and therefore more comfortable to do whatever it is he has to do and emit whatever sounds he has to emit.

I have known office people here who have made a point of using the plant employee washroom because things weren't going to be pretty.

JAW fan

Anonymous said...

There was also another woman here who told me about her s**t shoes...these were special shoes she used to put on before going to the bathroom...then, if she was excessively noisy or whatever, any gossipy or nosey woman in there who would check under the stall to see the shoes would not be able to recognize her the rest of the day, because she would be wearing her regular shoes...I'm surprised Brown's, Yellow, and Aldo do not have a special section for this.

JAW fan

NM: To this date, I still don't know if that woman was serious or not.

Nanuk of the North, older but no wiser said...

I do clearly remember your story of the s*** shoes.

But our workplace is not that big. If he is avoiding pooping noisily near his colleagues, he has to realize that the men on our floor will soon know he is a noisy pooper and word will still get around. In fact, I'm ready to start spreading this news already!

cityofmushrooms said...

I have now forgotten any comment I was going to make

the sh*t shoes have rendered me speechless

Anonymous said...

My immediate reaction was the same as JAW's - of course it's for #2! Or your bathrooms are just way nicer than the ones 2 floors up. Either way it has to do with the number 2...hmmm...

Anonymous said...

I'll try and keep this story short - a male colleague of mine went into the mensroom one day and there was someone in one of the stalls, well, having a wank. He looked at the shoes, then walked all around the floor discreetly looking at shoes to see who it was and didn't recognise any. We figured it was someone from another floor!!

(PS - I don't work there anymore...)

Anonymous said...

...in response to your earlier comment, sure the men on your floor might hear that he is a noisy pooper...but rest assured, that if a man hears this, he does not tell anyone else...so, it is safe to say that the guys on his floor will never know.

JAW fan

Nanuk of the North, older but no wiser said...

susie, maybe that guy had special wank shoes like JAW Fan's colleague had s*** shoes.

And, for that business, I think that's what the men in our building use the handicapped bathroom for. It's way more private. I avoid it for precisely this reason.

cityofmushrooms said...

so now everyone's going to run out and buy "wank shoes"? well, unless they've already got them, that is

Anonymous said...

When wanking in the work washroom, I usually remove my shoes and socks. I feel bare feet make for a better and more relaxed wank...but that might just be me.

JAW fan

Nanuk of the North, older but no wiser said...

God, I hope he's joking.