I usually don’t need to reprint an entire article to enjoy a laugh, but there are so many great one-liners here, I don’t know where to cut. (From BBC News)
A 58-year-old man who fed pigeons wearing only a skimpy thong which was back to front has been fined £150.
Neighbours spotted David Batchelor in his street in Perth in the underwear which left his genitals partly exposed.
Perth Sheriff Court heard that children walking home from school had been passing by at the time.
His lawyer said that Batchelor had been drunk and there was no sexual element to the way he had behaved. He admitted committing a breach of the peace.
When officers had turned up to investigate they found Batchelor still partially dressed and with his flimsy thong on the wrong way round.
At the court previously, Fiscal Depute Hannah Kennedy said: "The witnesses watched as the accused walked between the common close entrance and the pavement. He went behind some bushes outside his house.
"There were a large number of schoolchildren passing his home address at this stage.
"He returned to his flat then reappeared still wearing this item.
"It was still exposing his genitalia. The witnesses were alarmed by his actions and concerned for the children who had passed."
Batchelor claimed he had not seen anyone around, but then confessed he looked at everyone as they went past and the "schoolgirls were bonnie."
Mrs Kennedy added: "Asked why he did it, he replied 'I don't know. I was just feeding the birds and if I was wanting to do that I would just go down town and get a whore'."
Sheriff Michael Fletcher said: "The alcohol seems to be at the root of the problem and nothing much can be done about that, given his attitude towards it."
1 comment:
Poor David...You really got to feel sorry for him...I mean, his "skimpy thong" was on backwards and yet his genitals were only "partly exposed"
What does that say?
JAW fan
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