Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Important Memo to JAW Fan

On Saturday I shall be seeing the Meryl Streep/Alec Baldwin comedy.

Please advise if I need to report back only on how many juicy flank shots there are, or whether you require a thorough evaluation of all incidents of exposed Baldwin skin.

Thanks for your cooperation.

8 comments:

cityofmushrooms said...

might you be making out w/the date du jour and not even watching the movie?

Nanuk of the North, older but no wiser said...

My "date" for this is a lesbian friend, so the answer is No.

cityofmushrooms said...

you never know--it IS 2010

Anonymous said...

I propose you do the following, if you don't mind...apply a plastic cup to the bottom of your lower lip, in which to collect all drool. After the movie, weigh the drool in question (in milligrams) and report back. I will be able to decide based on that number.

Note: if you hear heavy moaning and some wild oo-la-las coming from the back row, it means I'm in the theatre as well. Please don't turn around and tell me to shut up.

JAW fan

Nanuk of the North, older but no wiser said...

I'll shush you!

Wouldn't drool be in millilitres? It's a liquid. Wouldn't I need a graduated cylinder?

Anonymous said...

Yes, yes, it is a liquid...however in this case, it is the weight of the drool that is important. Please don't be trying to mess around with this foolproof method...Of course, you can always opt for the more simpler approach, which consists of wearing a decolleté...and if your cleavage gets splashed with drops of uncontrollable drool, it's a good sign. If said drool makes it down to the elastic waistband of your Fruit-of-the-Looms, even better!

JAW fan

On an aside note (I hope you're all sitting down), my drool-o-meter is more focused on my Mexican Telenovela Actors these days. I'm hooked on these shows. They are so much more addictive than any American Soap. I've even given up Coronation Street to watch my Telenovelas. Guapos rule!!!

Nanuk of the North, older but no wiser said...

Ay yi yi.

I'm afraid to ask but I assume you've seen the 30 Rock episode where Alec Baldwin plays an actor in a telenovela, The Generalissimo. It would cover all your fantasies in one half hour.

Anonymous said...

Now you've just sent me into a tizzy, girl!!!

JAW fan