Today in unfortunate anatomical conditions...

So there’s a man who often takes the same bus as I do around 4:30. We get on at the same stop, and he is like an accident I can’t turn away from. He’s a middle-aged businessman, usually in a decent suit and very presentable. Except for his problem.

Hairy ears.

And I don’t just mean some old geezer with tufts. Which can sometimes be kinda cute in an old geezer kinda way. I mean the weirdest, grossest, thickest, darkest ear hair I have ever, ever seen. And it’s all over. Completely covers his ears. Like Mighty Peking Man.

Being a hairy beast myself, you’d think I ‘d have a bit of compassion here. But I don’t. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever been subjected to. I kid you not.

He does shave them occasionally, but that seems to make the growing back out part all the more gross.

So here’s my problem. Usually I am in line ahead of him, and I try to get a seat on the bus behind someone who is already sitting because I’m repulsed by this guy’s ears and I don’t want him sitting in front of me.

But last night, the bus was completely empty when we got on, so I had to take any seat, and of course, he sat right in front of me. Not having blinders on me, I had to settle for wearing my ipod as a sensory distraction and staring out the bus window. That was a very long half hour.

I guess the only thing I need is a nickname for him because Mr. Hairy Ears just doesn’t capture the whole nasty experience.