Minnesota Airport Bathroom Cop

Now that the gay-bait cop has had his name and face flashed across CNN, is it safe to assume he's going to be reassigned?

I could make a joke about his cover being blown, but why bother?

Exiled

I see that Exiled, the Anthony Wong/Francis Ng extravaganza from Fantasia, was reviewed in the NY Times and on Salon today. I'm glad to see it getting a US release.

Men in ultra cool coats.

I may actually get to see it again. That never happens with my fave Hong Kong movies. That will be a treat.

YAY!

The boss called us into a meeting.

All our department is on the books for next year's budget. Full staff. No cuts for us.

Good News, Maybe

There was a meeting of department heads here last week that my boss was not invited to attend.

When she found out about it, she asked why she was not included and was told it was only for supervisors who were going to have to make cuts in their departments.

We are all hoping she continues to be left off that particular list. We are supposed to know more this afternoon.

Ugly Rumour Department

NewsFlash: I just read that a man who wears wing tips is a closet case.

Is this true? Does anyone have any knowledge of this? Is this a well-known fact among the public- washroom-cruising crowd?

THIS IS IMPORTANT HERE, PEOPLE!!

Madame Bovary (suite suite)

Page 160

Leon has slunk off to Paris without having a liaison with Emma. He was her starter affair, just testing the waters so to speak. Only at one point did they touch, to shake hands good-bye, and they were both all aflutter. Those crazy French.

Now Rodolphe is on the scene, and he’s no Leon. I’ve got a bad feeling about this guy. He’s plotting seduction left and right. I read one paragraph containing his thoughts, and I needed to take a shower. He's icky.

Lump of a husband, Charles, remains oblivious.

Naughty News Update

I think this Senator-in-the-toilet story is going to have real legs because, speaking on behalf of straight people everywhere, there is nothing we find more titillating than gay sex in public washrooms.

It has a high yuck factor and an equally high mysterious angle that leaves us endlessly wondering why and how this happens.

Some of the newscasters I’ve seen appear so dense it makes me wonder if they’ve never seen Prick Up Your Ears.

Everything I ever wanted to know about anonymous public washroom cruising I learned from Gary Oldman.

A Dark and Stormy Night

We had to cut our practice short tonight because after 40 minutes a few people yelled "Lightning!" and the coach said we had to head back to the dock. Being how things always are, we were at the farthest point from the dock when we had to paddle, paddle, paddle home. My arms felt like noodles.

The 7:00 o'clock crews were waiting to get in their boats, and I thought: are you people nuts?

I was home about 5 minutes before the rain started to pour. Good timing for me.

And at 8:05 I heard a very loud boom. The kind that makes you say Holy Shit and spill your beverage if you happen to be holding one (I wasn't) . And the house literally shook. I've still got power so it wasn't a transformer that affected me, but somewhere nearby a lot of people must be in the dark.

Clive II

Speaking of all things Clive (and wouldn’t that be a perfect world), my bus route takes me up University and St. Cate where Clive currently appears in a lovely huge advertisement for some men’s cologne. He looks wonderfully manly and seductive in it. The first time I saw it, I wasn’t sure it was him because he looked too good.

Then the bus goes down Metcalfe where I see the Shoot Em Up poster with Clive looking very Chow Yun Fatish, what with the two big guns and all.

It’s a cavalcade of Clive to end my work day.

He retains the No. 1 spot in my “Handsomest Man in the World” rankings. Especially in that cologne ad. My! I may have to fan myself.

Clive I

Has anyone seen the poster for Shoot Em Up, the new Clive Owen movie?

I can’t figure out if this is a parody, or if somebody in movieland walked into the office one day and said, hey, I just heard of this Hong Kong action movie called Hard-Boiled where the hero shoots two guns at once!! Quick, let's make a movie before somebody else steals this idea.

Chow Yun Fat should sue.

Yet Another Jerk

I can’t get enough of the story of the gay Republican in the men’s washroom. Why does a US Senator think he can get away with this? I love the “I’m not gay. I have never been gay” rant. What an idiot. Get help, you hypocrite.

And then he blames the newspaper for harassing him. He’s blabbing about family values and voting against equal rights for gays, all the while cruising guys in bathrooms, and it’s the newspaper’s fault? Asshat.

Jeffrey Toobin on CNN brought up a point that I’d been thinking of all day: the cop whose job it is to hang around men’s washrooms at the airport looking for action has got one of the worst jobs in America. Imagine being that cop. It's the kind of job Angelo would get stuck doing in Confederacy of Dunces.

And this may be a dumb question, but why is this a crime? As much as I looooove seeing a family-values Senator get nailed for this, who is the victim here? Two people have anonymous sex in a bathroom, who is getting hurt? Other than the fact that I wouldn’t want to be the person in the next stall who realizes what is going on and goes eeuuuuhhh. This has to be a misdemeanour at most, and the punishment is the public humiliation. Who cares about a fine and a jail sentence.

Best part of the evening? Dan Savage discussing washroom cruising with Rick Sanchez. It’s the first time Sanchez has been bearable to watch. And Savage saying, I have no first-hand experience in this. Funny.

Another Jerk

I have no interest in American football and know nothing about this Michael Vick loser, except he's a quarterback for the Atlanta Fahl-cons. (Am I pronouncing that right?*)

This afternoon I saw the headline on CNN which said "Vick:. I found Jesus".

Jeezuz, I said.

What is it with Americans playing the Jesus card?

Why does every celebrity who breaks the law have to latch on to Jesus? I would give anything to see Jesus float down from heaven on a cloud and say to Vick: "Screw you, you're on your own, buddy. Have fun in jail. Nyeh nyeh".

*That's a joke for Greg who is on vacation and won't read it. Why am I wasting this valuable material?

Madame Bovary (suite)

On page 130. I’m still liking it a lot, but I haven’t found much time to read.

Emma had a baby who she has dumped on the wet nurse for a few weeks. Ho hum. She wanted a boy, but had a girl. Bummer for her.

Charles took Emma to a fancy high-society do, and now she wants that life 24/7. But she can’t have it. Ennui abounds.

Everyone in their little town is a freakin’ drag.

Leon has arrived on the scene. He’s hanging around Emma and mooning a lot. He’s bored, she’s bored. What Emma needs is an anti-depressant, but instead I can see their illicit affair barrelling towards us at 100 mph.

The townspeople are already whispering.

I’m not impressed by Leon but maybe I’m too picky. He seems a bit of a dweeb. But Emma figures he’s here and he’s got a wang so what the heck.

Dude! No!

Lots of rumours today that Owen Wilson tried to kill himself.

That's awful.

He was Ned Plimpton, long-lost (maybe) son of Steve Zissou!

He can't die, man.

Adios, Loser

Alberto Gonzales is finally quitting.

First Bat Boy, now this.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out, Gonzo.

No. I take that back. Do. Do let the door hit you in the ass. Hard.

Made it back to work

without falling into a sinkhole.

With all the infrastructure problems in the downtown core over the weekend, I was braced for the worst. But the ride into work was actually faster than normal.

I am suspicious, however, that the mayor could announce by 11:00 last night that all was well and repairs were complete. Being Montreal, I suspect that a half-assed job was done by all.

I Return

from the suburbs of the Holy City.

Did not do much in Toronto as my sis, who insists on playing sports despite her advancing years (ha), pulled a Michael Owen and twisted her knee on the soccer field. Thus, we stayed home most of the weekend, while she iced it, elevated it, etc. etc. We stuck to sitting in the back yard, chatting. It was tough.

Freakin' hot and humid in Toronto these past few days, I must say.

Shirtless world leaders: Part Trois of a continuing series

The French magazine Paris Match touched up a photograph of President Nicolas Sarkozy on his US holiday, making his figure more svelte.

Leading news weekly L'Express printed before and after shots, showing a distinct tightening of the area it called poignees d'amour (love handles). (BBC)

Isn't the editor of Paris Match a good friend of Sarko's? I believe so.

But really, Sark, if you're going to parade around shirtless for the world media whilst on vacation, you gotta do some serious ab work in advance.

Just ask Vlad.

No love handles on him.

Things that make me go ACK!!!

We have a terrace off of our work cafeteria. It is a nice spot to sit in the sun, but usually it is a bit too windy to actually eat there. I've lost count of the blown-away napkins I've seen. So normally I'll eat in and then take my book outside for a few minutes to soak up the sun. The smokers go there to smoke, of course.

So, when was the last time you saw a pregnant woman smoking? We've got one.

I saw her a couple of days ago and thought she was just hanging out with her smoking buddies, but today I saw that she is puffing away like the rest of them.

Yes, I know that in our mothers' generation lots of women smoked and we all turned out okay, but seeing her drove me nuts.

How can somebody do that in this day and age? It is so hard to not go over to her and say: Are you effing nuts??? I can't believe that nobody in the organization has blasted her yet. It takes a lot to appall me, but heck, I'm appalled.

Help Wanted

Harper needs somebody to teach him how to dress. His jacket and unmatching pants of yesterday were embarrassing.

If his wife won't do it, and clearly she isn't, then Harper needs someone else to choose, and mix and match, his clothes. Also to size them properly. Everything he wears looks too small.

Somebody get the Prime Minister a gay friend!