"PARIS, France (CNN) -- An employee at the Canadian Embassy in Paris experienced a nosebleed and fell ill shortly after opening a letter on Monday, triggering fears that the letter was toxic and prompting authorities to temporarily shut down the embassy and adjacent street, a Paris police spokesman told CNN.
The alert was lifted after police determined the employee had been ill for some time and had been experiencing nosebleeds."
Why did it take the police to determine the employee had been experiencing nosebleeds? Is this classified top-secret information? Is the employee not on speaking terms with anyone else in the Embassy? How lame is this?
Monday, February 19, 2007
Gotta love those Croatians
ZAGREB, Croatia (Reuters) -- Small packets of sugar bearing the likeness of Adolf Hitler and carrying Holocaust jokes have been found in some cafes in Croatia, prompting an investigation, the office of the state prosecutor said on Monday. (CNN)
Pass the Mussolini mustard, please.
Pass the Mussolini mustard, please.
Happy B-Day to Ms Chicken Coupons!
On your birthday, I wish for you:
Kind, generous and unstupid work colleagues,
Happy and well-behaved children,
and a happy and well-behaved husband.
Hey, your 30s are running out.
Enjoy what's left of them, time's a-ticking away...eek!
Kind, generous and unstupid work colleagues,
Happy and well-behaved children,
and a happy and well-behaved husband.
Hey, your 30s are running out.
Enjoy what's left of them, time's a-ticking away...eek!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Escaping East Germany
I saw The Lives of Others yesterday and I highly recommend it. Especially for people who are interested in the Cold War Era and Eastern Europe and all the shenanigans that went on over there. It's very sad and moving.
Before seeing the movie, I went for a haircut. My hairdresser, who I've known for 10 years or so, was born in East Germany. He's a huge movie buff, so I asked him if he'd seen the movie. He hadn't, and was keen to do so, but was also apprehensive about seeing it.
He then proceeded to tell me about the day he packed his bags, at age 17, and crossed over to the West. It was rivetting. I even forgot he was cutting my hair as he talked. Fortunately for me, he didn't forget what he was doing.
He "escaped" before the Wall went up. He hates using the word escape but he doesn't have a better word for it. At the time, it was not so dangerous to go to the West, i.e. nobody shot at you. He packed a suitcase, bought a train ticket for Berlin and that was that. It was easy, if by easy you mean that all you are doing is leaving your family, your friends, your schoolmates, your co-workers and everybody you know and the only place you've ever lived to go to an unknown destination where you don't know a soul and have no idea what you will do when you get there. And you face the possibility that you'll never be allowed back and will never see any of these people ever again. But nobody shoots at you. So it's easy.
I asked him if he just decided suddenly to leave one day. He said no. He was a self-proclaimed bullshitter who spent all his time bragging about how was going to go to the West one of these days. He said, if you say it for too long and you never do it, eventually you become a joke. So I knew I had to actually do it or I'd be laughed at. That's reason enough for a 17-year-old.
He said on the day Joseph Stalin died all the girls in his class were crying and he said "what the hell are you crying for that old man for?" I'm amazed he ever got out of there.
This is a man who lives for 1) gambling and 2) women. I suspect in his youth those two priorities may have been reversed, but he's in his 60s now, and lives for blackjack before babes. He's very charming and I can just imagine what he must've been like 30 or 40 years ago. What could a guy like him do in East Germany? Other than get in trouble.
Actually, he said that if he had stayed, he would've joined the Party and worked his way up. Because he wanted to have the biggest apartment and the nicest stuff. That's why everybody joined the Party. True ideologues were very rare.
He said that back in the GDR he never could've spoken to me, as one of his clients, the way he does. Way too dangerous. He said, I know you and I've known you for a long time, but I don't really know you. I know what he means.
Aren't we lucky to grown up in places where we don't have to worry if the guy next door, or the mailman, or the bus driver, or the grocery clerk, is reporting back to the government on any offhand flippant comment we might make. What an insane system.
If this kind of stuff interests you, you have to see The Lives of Others.
All systems eventually fail. Just before I left, we discussed how much time capitalism has left before it too goes sucking down the drain of history. I'm more optimistic than he is. I think we still have a few decades left, he thinks the end is coming must sooner. How pessimistic. I chalk that up to his East German upbringing.
Before seeing the movie, I went for a haircut. My hairdresser, who I've known for 10 years or so, was born in East Germany. He's a huge movie buff, so I asked him if he'd seen the movie. He hadn't, and was keen to do so, but was also apprehensive about seeing it.
He then proceeded to tell me about the day he packed his bags, at age 17, and crossed over to the West. It was rivetting. I even forgot he was cutting my hair as he talked. Fortunately for me, he didn't forget what he was doing.
He "escaped" before the Wall went up. He hates using the word escape but he doesn't have a better word for it. At the time, it was not so dangerous to go to the West, i.e. nobody shot at you. He packed a suitcase, bought a train ticket for Berlin and that was that. It was easy, if by easy you mean that all you are doing is leaving your family, your friends, your schoolmates, your co-workers and everybody you know and the only place you've ever lived to go to an unknown destination where you don't know a soul and have no idea what you will do when you get there. And you face the possibility that you'll never be allowed back and will never see any of these people ever again. But nobody shoots at you. So it's easy.
I asked him if he just decided suddenly to leave one day. He said no. He was a self-proclaimed bullshitter who spent all his time bragging about how was going to go to the West one of these days. He said, if you say it for too long and you never do it, eventually you become a joke. So I knew I had to actually do it or I'd be laughed at. That's reason enough for a 17-year-old.
He said on the day Joseph Stalin died all the girls in his class were crying and he said "what the hell are you crying for that old man for?" I'm amazed he ever got out of there.
This is a man who lives for 1) gambling and 2) women. I suspect in his youth those two priorities may have been reversed, but he's in his 60s now, and lives for blackjack before babes. He's very charming and I can just imagine what he must've been like 30 or 40 years ago. What could a guy like him do in East Germany? Other than get in trouble.
Actually, he said that if he had stayed, he would've joined the Party and worked his way up. Because he wanted to have the biggest apartment and the nicest stuff. That's why everybody joined the Party. True ideologues were very rare.
He said that back in the GDR he never could've spoken to me, as one of his clients, the way he does. Way too dangerous. He said, I know you and I've known you for a long time, but I don't really know you. I know what he means.
Aren't we lucky to grown up in places where we don't have to worry if the guy next door, or the mailman, or the bus driver, or the grocery clerk, is reporting back to the government on any offhand flippant comment we might make. What an insane system.
If this kind of stuff interests you, you have to see The Lives of Others.
All systems eventually fail. Just before I left, we discussed how much time capitalism has left before it too goes sucking down the drain of history. I'm more optimistic than he is. I think we still have a few decades left, he thinks the end is coming must sooner. How pessimistic. I chalk that up to his East German upbringing.
It's Ms Mushrooms Birthday!
Happy Birthday my dear.
Just for you today, two images to make you go ah!
Montreal in winter and you-know-who.
Also to feed your nostalgia, we are having some real Montreal snow today. It's light, blowing a bit sideways, fluffy and retina-piercing white. And there's PLENTY of it.
Just for you today, two images to make you go ah!
Montreal in winter and you-know-who.
Also to feed your nostalgia, we are having some real Montreal snow today. It's light, blowing a bit sideways, fluffy and retina-piercing white. And there's PLENTY of it.
A grumbling post about the trials and tribulations of shovelling may follow, as these things are wont to do.
Friday, February 16, 2007
One bad thing about being the King of Nepal
"Nepal's King Gyanendra has come under attack from a stone-throwing crowd as he travelled in a motorcade.
The monarch, who was on his way to a pilgrimage site in Kathmandu to attend a Hindu festival, escaped unhurt.
King Gyanendra was on his way to the Pashupati temple in the capital for the Maha Shivratri festival when crowds chanting anti-monarchy slogans pelted his motorcade with stones. " (BBC)
He probably never gets to hob-nob pro soccer players either.
The monarch, who was on his way to a pilgrimage site in Kathmandu to attend a Hindu festival, escaped unhurt.
King Gyanendra was on his way to the Pashupati temple in the capital for the Maha Shivratri festival when crowds chanting anti-monarchy slogans pelted his motorcade with stones. " (BBC)
He probably never gets to hob-nob pro soccer players either.
One good thing about being the Queen of England
Sometimes handsome professional soccer players come to your house for tea.
Look at how happy she looks. Oh, Queen E, you are such a girl.
(Thanks J&J)
Look at how happy she looks. Oh, Queen E, you are such a girl.
(Thanks J&J)
I am a Nerd: Part 72 in a series
Is there anything more exciting than free samples?
Twice a week, advertising circulars are delivered to our homes in a bag called the “Publi-Sac”. According to my sister, in English Canada they call it the “Ad Bag”. And for English speakers in Montreal there appears to be some kind of understanding that even though you can pronounce it correctly, it is more fun to call it the Poobly-Sack. I’m not sure why, but I admit I do it myself.
This past Wednesday, I was delighted to see a little bulge in the Publi-Sac because that indicates a FREE sample. Wheee. It’s like Halloween.
It turned out to be a box of new All Bran. I haven’t tried it yet. I’m saving it. For what? I have no idea. Armageddon? Who knows? But there is something very exciting about saving your FREE sample for a rainy day.
There are so many great FREE samples. I think energy bars, laundry detergent and dish-washing liquid are my favourites.
Twice a week, advertising circulars are delivered to our homes in a bag called the “Publi-Sac”. According to my sister, in English Canada they call it the “Ad Bag”. And for English speakers in Montreal there appears to be some kind of understanding that even though you can pronounce it correctly, it is more fun to call it the Poobly-Sack. I’m not sure why, but I admit I do it myself.
This past Wednesday, I was delighted to see a little bulge in the Publi-Sac because that indicates a FREE sample. Wheee. It’s like Halloween.
It turned out to be a box of new All Bran. I haven’t tried it yet. I’m saving it. For what? I have no idea. Armageddon? Who knows? But there is something very exciting about saving your FREE sample for a rainy day.
There are so many great FREE samples. I think energy bars, laundry detergent and dish-washing liquid are my favourites.
A Dumb Idea
Far be it from me normally to criticize Al Gore (oh, Al), but these concerts for global warming are a stupid idea.
If there is one subject that people, especially young people, don't need any help to raise their consciousnesses, it's climate change.
What a waste of energy. It would be more helpful to the planet if everyone stayed home.
If there is one subject that people, especially young people, don't need any help to raise their consciousnesses, it's climate change.
What a waste of energy. It would be more helpful to the planet if everyone stayed home.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Today’s Want Ads: We’re Expanding!
Want to join a dynamic, murderous team of go-getters?
“The newly rebranded Islamist underground in Algeria has carried out its first operations, involving the simultaneous detonation of seven car bombs just before dawn on February 13th.
“A statement claiming responsibility for the attack in the name of al-Qaida in the Maghreb was monitored by international news agencies in Dubai.” (Economist)
Great. Al-Qaeda in the Maghreb. Another new franchise. These guys are worse than Starbucks.
“The newly rebranded Islamist underground in Algeria has carried out its first operations, involving the simultaneous detonation of seven car bombs just before dawn on February 13th.
“A statement claiming responsibility for the attack in the name of al-Qaida in the Maghreb was monitored by international news agencies in Dubai.” (Economist)
Great. Al-Qaeda in the Maghreb. Another new franchise. These guys are worse than Starbucks.
In Chip News
Our work cafeteria now stocks Tandoori Sizzlers.
I take back everything negative I ever said about working here.
I take back everything negative I ever said about working here.
The Mile-High Rafe story continues....
The flight attendant gets sex with Rafe and $400,000. Will somebody tell me again how this is a bad thing?
(Thanks to Susie in Melbourne for supplying the link to Aussie newspaper The Age.)
“The Qantas flight attendant at the centre of the alleged mile-high sexual encounter with Hollywood actor Ralph Fiennes could sell her story for as much as $400,000.
“Mr Robertson said his daughter would not have encouraged Fiennes to go into the toilet with her.
(Editor's note: but, Dad, it's Rafe!)
"I don't think she would have encouraged him to do anything like that. I couldn't imagine her doing it up in the plane. You've got other staff there and customers. I don't think she would want to do anything like that."
(Editor's note: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the punchline:)
Of those other staff, Mr Robertson told the newspaper: [They are] probably ugly as a hat full of arseholes and were just jealous."
(Thanks to Susie in Melbourne for supplying the link to Aussie newspaper The Age.)
“The Qantas flight attendant at the centre of the alleged mile-high sexual encounter with Hollywood actor Ralph Fiennes could sell her story for as much as $400,000.
(Editor's note: He's not a Hollywood actor, he's British. That's much classier.)
“…her father says he and his wife are struggling to cope with reports that their daughter allegedly had sex with The English Patient star in a business-class toilet of a Darwin-to-Mumbai Qantas flight on January 30.
“Mr Robertson said his daughter would not have encouraged Fiennes to go into the toilet with her.
(Editor's note: but, Dad, it's Rafe!)
"I don't think she would have encouraged him to do anything like that. I couldn't imagine her doing it up in the plane. You've got other staff there and customers. I don't think she would want to do anything like that."
(Editor's note: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the punchline:)
Of those other staff, Mr Robertson told the newspaper: [They are] probably ugly as a hat full of arseholes and were just jealous."
In Local Hockey News
The Canadiens have lost 5 in the row. They are hanging on to a playoff spot by the skin of their teeth.
Na na na na
Na na na na
Hey, Hey, Good-bye
And they’ve lost their No. 1 goaltender, which means (in news that only Pessimist Greg will care about) the young Slovak Jaroslav Halak will be called up. Perhaps he can become a saviour?
Na na na na
Na na na na
Hey, Hey, Good-bye
And they’ve lost their No. 1 goaltender, which means (in news that only Pessimist Greg will care about) the young Slovak Jaroslav Halak will be called up. Perhaps he can become a saviour?
Post-Valentine survey
40% of men give flowers, 15% of women want flowers
31% of men are thinking of giving candy, 9% of women want candy
29% of women most want restaurant meals, 17% want spa visits, 15% want flowers.
Okay, so that means a lot of the flowers and candy that are received are not, in fact, wanted.
And 61% of women want meals, spa visits or flowers. Where does that leave the other 39%? As Siggy Freud once asked: what do women want?
31% of men are thinking of giving candy, 9% of women want candy
29% of women most want restaurant meals, 17% want spa visits, 15% want flowers.
Okay, so that means a lot of the flowers and candy that are received are not, in fact, wanted.
And 61% of women want meals, spa visits or flowers. Where does that leave the other 39%? As Siggy Freud once asked: what do women want?
Adventures in Shovelling
I got home around 5:45. There wasn't much accumulation, but it was still snowing. Did my first round of shovelling. Finished in about 20 minutes. Sweet.
Went back out around 9:45. There was more snow than had accumulated all day. But the city plows had not gone by even once. Stupid snow. Stupid city. But I was keen. So I prettied up the place, and even did the roof! At 10:30 I was ready to go in, but lo and behold, here come the city plows.
At ten effing thirty.
Needless to say, my driveway got completely blocked. And I said: forget this. And went inside and went to bed. My driveway is still completely blocked this morning. Such is life. I'll deal with it tonight.
Went back out around 9:45. There was more snow than had accumulated all day. But the city plows had not gone by even once. Stupid snow. Stupid city. But I was keen. So I prettied up the place, and even did the roof! At 10:30 I was ready to go in, but lo and behold, here come the city plows.
At ten effing thirty.
Needless to say, my driveway got completely blocked. And I said: forget this. And went inside and went to bed. My driveway is still completely blocked this morning. Such is life. I'll deal with it tonight.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
StormWatch 2007
Still not much to report on.
Little accumulation, but the snow is coming down sideways which is rather disturbing.
Little accumulation, but the snow is coming down sideways which is rather disturbing.
Happy Valentine's Day
MMMWAH! MMMWAH!
That's a couple of big two-cheeked Montreal kisses for all.
But, more importantly, re the Big Storm....
I may regret this prediction in about 12 hours from now, but I don't think it's going to be that bad around here
(Cut to: Nanuk and her shovel in a snowbank around 8:00 p.m. weakly shaking her fist at the sky.)
That's a couple of big two-cheeked Montreal kisses for all.
But, more importantly, re the Big Storm....
I may regret this prediction in about 12 hours from now, but I don't think it's going to be that bad around here
(Cut to: Nanuk and her shovel in a snowbank around 8:00 p.m. weakly shaking her fist at the sky.)
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Time Flies
I can't believe it's already been a full year since Darth Cheney shot his old hunting buddy in the face. Man, where does the time go?
As far as I know, the old guy is still alive. And, unfortunately, so is Cheney.
As far as I know, the old guy is still alive. And, unfortunately, so is Cheney.
Rafe, Meet Jacques
In the Maudit Français Department:
"Three months away from his expected retirement, President Chirac has for the first time confirmed his appetite for extraconjugal affairs, saying that he loved many women in his lifetime “as discreetly as possible”.
"Amorous adventures have not played a determining role in my life. There have been women I have loved a lot, as discreetly as possible,” he said. Mr Chirac insisted that there had never been any question of leaving his wife, whom he met when both were students at the Political Sciences Institute in Paris." (Times of London)
When asked to comment, Rafe Fiennes was seen casually thumbing through the OED, looking for the definition of "discreet".
"Three months away from his expected retirement, President Chirac has for the first time confirmed his appetite for extraconjugal affairs, saying that he loved many women in his lifetime “as discreetly as possible”.
"Amorous adventures have not played a determining role in my life. There have been women I have loved a lot, as discreetly as possible,” he said. Mr Chirac insisted that there had never been any question of leaving his wife, whom he met when both were students at the Political Sciences Institute in Paris." (Times of London)
When asked to comment, Rafe Fiennes was seen casually thumbing through the OED, looking for the definition of "discreet".
Valentine's News: Rafe Gets Amorous
Oh, Rafe. Will you never learn?
"Ralph Fiennes alleged antics on a recent Quantas flight to India has sent an airline attendant into hiding. Fiennes reportedly got up to no good in a business class bathroom with crewmember Lisa Robertson en route to Mumbai.
Her statement to the airline paints the scene: "While conversing with Mr. Fiennes during my break, I expressed a need to go to the toilet. I went to the nearby toilet and entered it; he followed me. I explained to him that this was inappropriate and asked him to leave. Mr. Fiennes became amorous toward me, and, after a short period of time, I convinced him to leave the toilet, which he did. I left a short time later."
But the couple was caught exiting the lavatory by two other crew members, who reported Robertson, who's since been suspended without pay." (Salon)
He's such a pig. How I love that Rafe.
"Ralph Fiennes alleged antics on a recent Quantas flight to India has sent an airline attendant into hiding. Fiennes reportedly got up to no good in a business class bathroom with crewmember Lisa Robertson en route to Mumbai.
Her statement to the airline paints the scene: "While conversing with Mr. Fiennes during my break, I expressed a need to go to the toilet. I went to the nearby toilet and entered it; he followed me. I explained to him that this was inappropriate and asked him to leave. Mr. Fiennes became amorous toward me, and, after a short period of time, I convinced him to leave the toilet, which he did. I left a short time later."
But the couple was caught exiting the lavatory by two other crew members, who reported Robertson, who's since been suspended without pay." (Salon)
He's such a pig. How I love that Rafe.
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